1. AP/Deans Statewide Mentoring Meeting Tuesday, September 16, 2014

2. Outcomes:  Grow your professional network;  Discuss beginning of the year experiences;  Share practices for effectively engaging staff in professional learning;  Learn strategies for enlisting parents in their student’s educational journey;  Identify a most pressing issue and collaborate with colleagues to seek ideas for resolution;  Explore the rationale and strategies for having hard conversations; and  Consider ways to improve your leadership - life fit.

3. Legal Updates

4. Important Links:  Padlet for posting questions for panel: http://padlet.com/dschon/Engage Parents http://padlet.com/dschon/Engage Parents  Evaluation: http://bit.ly/APSepthttp://bit.ly/APSept  Resources from today: http://www.sai- iowa.org/september-assistant- principal-mentoring2.cfm http://www.sai- iowa.org/september-assistant- principal-mentoring2.cfm

5. Grounding our work today… As you reflect on these first few weeks of school, what has been most challenging and what has been most meaningful?

6. Developing our Learning Community The IPDM: Supporting a Cycle of Inquiry

7. Consulting Protocol 1. Groups of 4. 2. First person shares his/her building plan for professional learning—why is this the focus? What is your role in enacting/supporting the plan. What questions do you have about your plan? 3. Group processes by asking questions and offering insights. 4. Repeat steps two and three until all four colleagues have shared.

8. Group Processing  After everyone has shared, discuss what was learned by the analysis and the implications for your work as leaders  Debrief the protocol  How did the process work for your group?  How could it be improved?  How might you use this with your teachers and or other groups?

9. Iowa Professional Development Model

10. Discussion Panel: Enlisting Parents in Their Student’s Educational Journey Chad Carlson, Bondurant-Farrar Jim Murray, Vinton-Shellsburg Jeff Anderson, Ames

11. http://padlet.com/dschon/En gageParents  Your position and the expectations for you in your role, particularly as they relate to your work with parents.  How have you connected with parents such that the first contact isn't a discipline call? or How do you balance the perceived negative (discipline) calls with what is perceived as more positive communication?

12. http://padlet.com/dschon/En gageParents  How have you involved parents in their student’s educational journey? What does parent involvement look like in your school?  What are some standard lines that you have used with irate parents? Parents who want special favors? Parents who want information that you should not provide? Do you have any other "go-to" lines?

13. IGNITE!

14. http://padlet.com/dschon/APIGNITE

15.  Topic that is my priority.  Questions I have about that topic.

16. Having Hard Conversations Dana Schon, SAI

17. By the end of this session, you will have…  Explored the rationale for hard conversations  Identified strategies for planning and engaging in hard conversations

18. Susan Scott, Fierce Conversations Our lives are a series of relationships, the success or failure of which happen one conversation at a time. Extraordinary leadership is the result of having fierce conversations with ourselves first and then with others. Only then can any of us hope to provide the caliber of leadership that our organizations need and desire.

19. Hard conversations are about being true to oneself, doing what is right for students, and shaping an environment that supports learning. ~Jennifer Abrams

20. Having Hard Conversations Video Interview with Jennifer Abrams

21. What hard conversation aren’t you having?  What is bothering you?  Why is it bothering you?  Why haven’t you said anything yet?  What might you give up if you say something?  What is the worst thing that could happen?

22. Why do we avoid hard conversations? 1. Desire to please – to be liked and respected REALIZE: The nice thing to do IS speak up! 2. Personal safety-avoid physical/emotional pain-- scary/aggressive colleague REALIZE: Only civil, respectful dialogue is acceptable—focus on that to remain calm as you communicate this expectation to others

23. Why do we avoid hard conversations? 3. Personal Comfort—no waves, not worth hassle REALIZE: Short term personal discomfort for me will likely pale in comparison to long-term gains for everyone 4. Fatigue – I don’t have enough energy/emotion left to keep fighting this one REALIZE: This tired, tired feeling is what some students experience daily as they face this situation—it is worth it on their behalf to say something!

24. Why do we avoid hard conversations? 5. No Sense of Urgency—Don’t make a big deal, give it time REALIZE: Trust your gut/the hair on your neck/your inkling—gather data 6. Waiting for the perfect time—when is there enough in the emotional bank account that you can withdraw to be able to give feedback that might be considered critical? REALIZE: Don’t over think it! Give yourself a timeline to plan the conversation and a deadline to have it!

25. Why do we avoid hard conversations? 7. Worried about overwhelming someone who is already struggling REALIZE: Our job is to protect and serve students. We might consider how we can help the teacher improve so that he/she feels less rather than more overwhelmed. 8. It’s a small town, and we all know each other. REALIZE: Ask yourself how like it is that your hard conversation will have lasting consequences on your relationship, and remind yourself if you are speaking up on behalf of students, it’s worth it.

26. Why do we avoid hard conversations? 9. He’s a nice person./She didn’t mean it. REALIZE: Consider stepping up onto the balcony. What would you see as an outside observer in this situation?

27. 3 principles:  Get Clear  Craft  Communicate

35. The majority of the work in any difficult conversation is work you do on yourself.

36. On your planning tool…

37. Get Clear!  What language can you “borrow” to make your conversation more focused and less subjective?  What does the job description say (classified employees)?  What do the standards say (teachers)?  What do staff, student, parent, and/or volunteer handbooks say?

38. Make a Plan  Identify what you would like to see.  Consider what the teacher will need to make it happen.  Consider what you will need to do to support the teacher and what resources you may need to make available.

39. Hold the conversation… 1. Set the tone and purpose 2. Get to the point and name it professionally (avoid judgment and adjectives) 3. Give specific examples—share ONE or TWO of the most current 4. Describe the effect of this behavior on the school, colleagues, students 5. State your wish to resolve the issue and open the discussion

40. Angie, your content knowledge about history is second to none, and your passion for the subject is evident. ( Set Tone ). We need to figure out how to get students more actively engaged in your class. ( Get to the point ). In the last few observations, I have noted that 75% of your students are on their phones. During one observation, I noted students were copying notes from the power point, but when I asked each of 5 students what they were learning, each essentially said, “I don’t really know. I’m just writing down what’s up there.” ( Specific Examples).

41. The problem is that the students need to know this content so that they can be successful on your assessments. They need time and opportunity to process the information and to provide you with feedback so that you will know if they have learned. ( Describe the effect of the behavior). To structure more discussion and gather more feedback from students represents a shift for you. What do you think? ( Invite the conversation)

42. A few tips…  Acknowledge emotional energy – yours and theirs – and direct it towards a useful purpose.  Know and return to your purpose at difficult moments.  Don’t take verbal attacks personally. Help your partner come back to center.  Don’t assume they can see things from your point of view.  Practice the conversation with a mentor/colleague before holding the real one.  Mentally practice the conversation. See various possibilities and visualize yourself handling them with ease. Envision the outcome you’re hoping for.

43. Leadership-life Fit Dana Schon, SAI

44. By the end of this segment, participants will have…  Examined 5 strategies for achieving a better leadership-life fit

45.  In the ten years from 1986 to 1996 work-life balance was mentioned in the media 32 times.  In 2007 alone it was mentioned 1674 times.

46. Laid-off Man Finally Achieves Perfect Work-Life Balance

47. Funny, but not realistic… so, what works?  Research shows the happiest people are busy — but don’t feel rushed.  Anxiety is reduced by a feeling of control. And what do studies say about work-life balance? Same thing — a feeling of control is key.

48. Take control… 1. Everything is not equally important. Do fewer things and do them well. 2. Decide what your values are — and which ones take precedence. 3. Do the things that get disproportionate results. 4. Focus on the things only YOU can do. 5. Do the important things which must be done now.

49. The Eisenhower Box What is important is seldom urgent, and what is urgent is seldom important. ~Dwight Eisenhower, 34 th President of the United States

50. You can do anything once you stop trying to do everything.

51. Final Thoughts & Evaluation http://bit.ly/APSept