1. Stephen J. Bavolek, Ph.D.

2. Empathy is the human characteristic Nurturing is the skills of empathy

3. Nurturing comes from the word nutritura which means to promote, nurse and nourish life.

4. The energy of nurturing is non-discriminatory. Both positive and negative nurturing exist.

5. Negative nurturing is called abuse and neglect

6. Abuse comes from the Latin word abusus which means to mistreat; cruel and harsh treatment.

7. Neglect comes from the Latin word neglegere. Neg means “not” and legere means “pick up.”

8. Positive nurturing is called Empathy

9. Empathy is the fundamental “Parenting” characteristic

10. Empathy comes from the Greek word empatheia which means "feeling into.”

11. An empathic parenting response is an attempt to put ourselves in a child’s place in order to perceive the subjective experience of the child.

12. Nature vs. Nurture

13. Nature of the Human Being

14. Human beings are born predisposed to form and sustain long-term positive nurturing relationships.

15. Positive and Negative Nurture

16. Positive Negative Dysfunctional Hours 20% 80% 126,221 30% 70% 110,443 50% 50% 78,888 70% 30% 47,333 80% 20% 31,555 90% 10% 15,778 95% 5% 7,889 99% 1% 1,578 100% 0% 0

17. Positive and negative life events carry both cognitive and affective cellular memories. Over time, repeated events create neural pathways.

18. The brain normalizes repeated experiences.

19. Neurological networks and pathways are created in childhood that influence our life.

20. Events develop personality characteristics. Personality characteristics lead to personality traits. Personality traits lead to full blown personalities.

21. Much of human behavior is driven by two neurological responses:

22. COGNITIVE – thoughts and memories (pre-frontal lobes)

23. AFFECTIVE - our feelings (limbic system)

24. Empathic responses contain both cognitive and affective dimensions:

25. a cognitive attempt to understand another’s feelings and perspective

26. the affective capacity to share in another’s feelings.

27. There are four critical attributes of empathy:

28. 1. Awareness of the state of another.

29. 2. Understanding of this condition.

30. 3. Personal Identification with the situation.

31. 4. Appropriate affective and cognitive response.

32. American psychologist E. B. Titchner first used the word in the 1920’s.

33. Motor mimicry observed in one-year olds who imitated the distress of another child.

34. “A sort of imitation of the distress of another which then evokes the same feelings in oneself.”

35. Natural progression of empathy:

36. At one, a child feels distress when another child falls or cries.

37. After one, infants become more aware that they are distinct from others and try to soothe another crying child.

38. Around two:  Someone else’s feelings differ from their own  Become sensitive to cues revealing what another child feels.

39. Late childhood, children can understand distress beyond the immediate situation.

40. Parental empathy forms a positive bond at birth between baby and parents (bonding) …

41. … which continues as the child grows older (attachment).

42. Attachment is a reciprocal relationship between parent and child.

43. Attunement is the process of being present and responsive to the child’s needs.

44. Empathic parents are:  Attuned to the subtle and overt signals of children’s needs or wants.  Respond in empathic ways that maintain that child’s dignity.  Consider the child an equal in respect to the feelings

45. Interesting Facts: Gender differences in empathy:

46. Males have action oriented empathy: ability to observe others and situations and problem solve.

47. Females have emotional oriented empathy: being aware of the feelings of another.

48. Bavolek found females express significantly (P>.001) more empathic parenting beliefs than males.

49.  1. Identify your Family Morals  2. Morals become Family Values  3. Establish a set of Family Rules  4. Teach children to care for plants, animals, and their belongings  5. Empathize the value of Cooperation  6. Build Quality Time In

50.  7. Practice massage daily as a night time routine  8. Catch children behaving and use Praise for Doing  9. Send unconditional love messages and use Praise for Being  10. Have fun and laugh a lot

51.  11.Develop the child’s sense of spirituality  12.Volunteer to help others including animals and the environment  13. Model and teach appropriate ways to express feelings  14. Treat your children with dignity  15. Tell “Power Stories”

52.  16. Get your needs met  17. Help children get their needs met  18. Take time away from “doing” parenting  19. Have a family meal daily  20. Make “parenting” one of the most enjoyable experiences you and your family will ever have.