1. FAMILY: THE SHADOWS OF ADDICTION

2. The bio/psycho/social model of well-being:  Physical impacts  Emotional impacts  Social impacts  Spiritual impacts IMPACTS OF ADDICTION

3.  Weight gain/weight loss  Medical problems such as:  Diabetes  Hypertension  G.I. problems  Circulation problems PHYSICAL

4.  Anger  Depression  Isolation  Low self-esteem MENTAL/EMOTIONAL

5.  Change in friends  No friends  Negative feedback from close friends  Loss of interest  Lack of follow through  Not looking forward to things  Misdirected goals SOCIAL

6. Anger with GOD/Higher Power SPIRITUAL

7. WHAT HAPPENS TO THE FAMILY WHEN THE ADDICTION BECOMES A PART OF IT?

8.  Unusual stress  Normal routines are interrupted by frightening experiences  What is being said doesn’t match up with family members feelings  i.e. the lyrics don’t match the music  Feelings get shut down and stuffed  Family members become “PODS” or pseudo self THE FAMILY

9.  Rationalization  Intellectualizing  Over controlling  Enabling  Withdrawing  Self medicating DEFENSE MECHANISMS ARE COMPLICATED

10.  A family’s ability to create balance within the family unit  Three branches of the family system  Husband and Wife  Mother and Father  Children HOMEOSTASIS

11.  In a more balanced system there is:  Open communication  Children have a voice  The rules are for the entire family unit, not just the identified addict.  Boundaries between systems  Members can identify their role in their families. HOMEOSTASIS

12.  In alcoholic and drug addicted homes there is a huge lack of balance  The shadow of the disease of addiction takes over the family members and transforms them into something else.  Concepts such as truth and faith become chaotic and promises are broken  Instability  No trust HOMEOSTASIS

13. Typically family members fall into two categories: The PleaserWithdrawn  Yell  scream  Smile when in pain  Withdraw  Cajole  Horrang  Criticize  Overly identify  Understand  Get fed up  Laugh  Lie  Exaggerate  Rationalize  Intellectualize  Delusions of grandeur HOMEOSTASIS Common Behaviors Include:

14. INVOLVING FAMILY IN THE RECOVERY PROCESS

15. Involve Families. Families dealing with addiction often deny family members the opportunity to share either openly or partially open about what is happening. Everyday occurrences that seem normal are put on the “back burner” and feel very much like a burden. Give them a safe space to talk with purpose. TALK WITH PURPOSE

16.  The weights hang on the shoulders of family members  Must talk about their feelings  Have to have outside positive influence  Should not self medicate  Family members in a drug addicted atmosphere tend to:  Avoid  Lack a genuine emotional connection.  Misdirected focus on other problems TALK WITH PURPOSE

17.  Make no mistake…  Addiction = trauma  It is:  Persuasive  Imposing  Lacks rapport  Impacts physiological state  Weakens mental stability THE BRAIN

18.  Amygdala  The center for the Fight or Flight mechanism is fully functional at birth.  Hippocampus  Are we threatened?  Pre-frontal cortex  Necessary/essential  Not fully developed until at least 10 or 11 years old THE BRAIN

19. QUESTIONS? Ben Brafman bbrafman@destinationhope.net