1. HOPE-FILLED ENGAGEMENT THROUGH MATTERING GRAY POEHNELL Cannexus, January 23, 2012 graypoehnell@mac.com

2. 1 HOPE-FILLED ENGAGEMENT @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering2

3. “CAREER STUFF” CAN SEEM HOPELESS @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering3

4. CAREER LIFE @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering4

5. AN ALTERNATIVE APPROACH @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering5

6. HOPE @2011, Ergon Communications @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering6

7. HOPE-FILLED ENVIRONMENT @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering7

8. HOPE balanced inclusive engaging holistic mattering realistic imaginative spiritual creative simple flexible positive supportive gratitude & joy resiliency trust @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering8

9. 2 WHAT IS MATTERING @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering9

10. beliefs people have, whether right or wrong, that they matter to someone else, that they are the object of someone else’s attention, and that others care about them and appreciate them. MATTERING, Amundson, Active Engagement @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering10

11. 3 MATTERING MATTERS @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering11

12. MATTERING @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering12 HOPE WILLINGNESS TO TRY

13. “what difference does it make?” “so what?” “who cares?” “that’s just the way it is” “what’s the use?” “what’s the point of trying?” “why bother?” “I can’t make a difference” I DON’T MATTER - THERE IS NO HOPE - SO WHY TRY @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering13

14. MATTER substance tangible VISIBLITY @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering14

15. MATTERING substance tangible VISIBLITY & RECOGNITION @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering15

16. VALUE MATTERING substance tangible MAKING A DIFFERENCE importance significance meaning VISIBLITY & RECOGNITION @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering16

17. INVISIBLE PEOPLE @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering17

18. Liu Bolin: the Vanishing Artist @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering18

19. INVISIBLE TO THEMSELVES @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering19

20. LEARNED HELPLESSNESS /HOPELESSNESS @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering20

21. the giving-up reaction, the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn’t matter. LEARNED HELPLESSNESS Seligman, Learned Optimism @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering21

22. Life Experiences Negative Explanatory Style Nothing I do matters Why try? Nothing I do will ever matter @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering22

23. INVISIBLE TO OTHERS @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering23

24. CHICAGO Mr. Cellophane Lyrics sung by Amos If someone stood up in a crowd And raised his voice up way out loud And waved his arm and shook his leg You'd notice him If someone in the movie show Yelled "Fire in the second row This whole place is a powder keg!” You'd notice him @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering24

25. CHICAGO Mr. Cellophane Lyrics sung by Amos And even without clucking like a hen Everyone gets noticed, now and then, Unless, of course, that personage should be Invisible, inconsequential me! Cellophane Mister Cellophane Shoulda been my name Mister Cellophane 'Cause you can look right through me Walk right by me And never know I'm there…. @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering25

26. CHICAGO Mr. Cellophane Lyrics sung by Amos … A human being's made of more than air With all that bulk, you're bound to see him there Unless that human bein' next to you Is unimpressive, undistinguished You know who... Cellophane Mister Cellophane Shoulda been my name Mister Cellophane 'Cause you can look right through me Walk right by me And never know I'm there… @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering26

27. SOME SYSTEMIC CHALLENGES @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering27

28. goals work exp education skills, etc CAREER LIFE @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering28

29. @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering29

30. @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering30

31. @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering31

32. WE SEE WHAT MOST DON’T @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering32

33. goals work exp education skills, etc CAREER LIFE Engage people where they are engaged in life!! @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering33

34. goals work exp education skills, etc CAREER LIFE @2011, Ergon Communications34Hope-Filled Engagement Engage people where they are engaged in life!!

35. WE HELP PEOPLE TO SEE WHAT THEY CAN’T SEE @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering35

36. I HAVE VALUE! WHAT I DO MAKES A DIFFERENCE! @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering36

37. 4 INSIGHTFUL CROSS-TRAINING @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering37

38. BUTTERFLY EFFECT @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering38

39. every decision we make and everything we do no matter how small has a profound effect on the world around us BUTTERFLY EFFECT @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering39

40. Sensitive Dependence on Initial Conditions BUTTERFLY EFFECT @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering40

41. even small and seemingly insignificant changes at the start of a process can produce significantly different results BUTTERFLY EFFECT @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering41

42. @2010, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement42

43. SMALL CHANGE BIG DIFFERENCE @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering43

44. WHAT SMALL CHANGES COULD YOU MAKE? @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering44

45. LEARNED OPTIMISM: HOW TO CHANGE YOUR MIND AND YOUR LIFE Martin E. Seligman @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering45

46. LEARNED HELPLESSNESS @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering46

47. the giving-up reaction, the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn’t matter. LEARNED HELPLESSNESS Seligman, Learned Optimism @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering47

48. EXPLANATORY STYLE @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering48

49. the manner in which you habitually explain to yourself why events happen EXPLANATORY STYLE Seligman, Learned Optimism @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering49

50. Your way of explaining events to yourself determines how helpless you can become, or how energized, when you encounter [life experiences] I think of your explanatory style as reflecting “the word in your heart.” Each of us carries a word in his heart, a “no” or a “yes.” EXPLANATORY STYLE Seligman, Learned Optimism @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering50

51. explanatory style stems directly from your view of your place in the world— whether you think you are valuable and deserving, or worthless and hopeless EXPLANATORY STYLE Seligman, Learned Optimism @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering51

52. THREE DIMENSIONS OF EXPLANATORY STYLE @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering52

53. @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering53 PERMANENCE Temporary “this time” Permanent “always happens” PERVASIVENESS Specific “this situation” Universal “whatever I do” PERSONALIZATION External “other factors” Internal “It’s my fault” pessimistic optimistic

54. EXPLANATORY STYLE LEARNED OPTIMISM LEARNED HELPLESSNESS @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering54

55. Life Experiences Negative Explanatory Style Nothing I do matters Why try? Nothing I do will ever matter @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering55 LEARNED HELPLESSNES S

56. Life Experiences Positive Explanatory Style I matter. I’ll try. I can make a difference. @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering56 LEARNED OPTIMISM

57. 5 SOME PRACTIAL THINGS I FIND HELPFUL @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering57

58. look and listen for the signs of helplessness, hopelessness, for the signs that people don’t think they matter OBSERVANT @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering58

59. Put myself into the shoes of those who don’t think they matter or that anything they do matters. Explore diversity. EMPATHY @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering59

61. What are they seeing and hearing when meeting me? What impact am I having on them? More hopeful or more hopeless? SELF-AWARE @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering61

62. Tone First contact Connecting Active Listening Valuing Hopeful Creative ATMOSPHERE AND ENVIRONMENT @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering62

63. Create experiences in which people are surprised by what they have in their lives and by what they can do. SURPRISE EXPERIENCES @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering63

64. Favourite Things up to 12 things I like to do? last time? cost / free? planned/spontaneous? alone / others? mind, body, emotion, spirit? cooking crafts games spirituality family/fri ends movies PE MS PE PE” MS 3 days 1 day 1 week today 1 month $ $ F F F $ S/P P S P A A O A/O O O @2011, Ergon Communications64 Hope-Filled Engagement

65. Enable people to look at themselves and their lives from multiple perspectives, especially the hopeful ones. MULTIPLE PERSPECTIVES @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering65

66. What do people need to know and to be able to do In order for what I am asking them to do? What do I have to equip them with before they can do what I ask them to do? BACKSWING & EQUIPPING @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering66

67. Learned helplessness can be unlearned. How can I help people find more hopeful explanations for the life experiences that have taught them that they don’t matter. ALTERNATIVE EXPLANATIONS @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering67

68. learning a set of skills about how to talk to yourself when you suffer a personal defeat. from a more encouraging viewpoint. LEARNED OPTIMISM & SELF-TALK Seligman, Learned Optimism @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering68

69. @2011, Ergon Communications 69 Hope-Filled Engagement What is a “skill?” SKILL “strength, good at” NO SKILL “something you do” HOPELESS HOPE-FILLED

70. TRADITIONAL VIEW OF SUCCESS @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering70

71. Ability + Motivation ⇓ SUCCESS @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering71

72. EXPANDED VIEW OF SUCCESS @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering72

73. Ability + Motivation + Optimism ⇓ SUCCESS @2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering73

74. HOPE-FILLED ENGAGEMENT THROUGH MATTERING GRAY POEHNELL Cannexus, January 23, 2012 graypoehnell@mac.com