1. OPAL Fall 2010

2. Material- Material- possessions Relationship- Relationship- partner, children, parents Functional- Functional- disability Support- Support- loss of structure within a system, husband retires Role Role – child leaves home, retirement Psychological- Psychological- self-esteem loss due to failure, moving to new city

3. Perception of severity Avoidable or not, guilt Temporary or permanent Static or deteriorating Seen or unseen Social acceptability Expected Previous losses

4. DenialAngerBargainingDepressionAcceptance

5. Blocking or avoiding the pain Unresolved anger, sadness Continued denial Guilt Divorce Not moving on emotionally

6. “You need to keep busy” “You should be grateful you had so much time together” “She would want you to be happy” “Time heals all wounds” “It was God’s will” or “Everything happens for a reason” “You have to be strong for the children”

7. Rebuilt Self- breakdown of personal identity, slow reconstruction of self, usually with greater strength & insight No Meaning/No Growth- continue searching for meaning in the loss, results in negative word view Minimal Threat/Minimal Growth- don’t seek meaning, don’t process emotions or try to incorporate experience of loss into self

8. Acknowledge the reality Feel the feelings Adjust to new situation Withdraw emotional energy and re-invest in new relationships/interests

9. Listen, non-judgmentally Let them cry or not cry Be open to talking about the person, disability or source of loss Ask questions about the deceased or loss Never say, “I know how you feel.” Remember person may still be grieving even if don’t appear to be

10. Journaling Support groups Recovery partner Time line of loss Letter to the lost one (person or otherwise) Making a memorial