1. Understanding the Grief Cycle

2. Introduction Activity

3. Families are Interconnected
When things are
going well…

4. Families are Interconnected
When things are
out of balance…

5. The Good Grief cycle Denial Shame Panic 1 Acceptance 3 Hope Shock 5 7
Source: Jeanne Mendoza, Ph.D., (1989) SEARCH: Exploring the Systems of Family Support.
San Diego State University, Special Education Department. San Diego, CA.
The Good Grief cycle
Family Consultant Training
Section 3/Family Systems & Ecology
Sep96-22.cdr
Denial
Not me!
Shame
Panic 1
What will
Acceptance 3
people
What will
Hope
think?
happen to my
There will be
Shock
child? What
Perhaps we
days filled with 5
will I do?
will get
anger and grief
Handicap is 7
through this.
and days when I
diagnosed
will feel strength. 10 11 6 9 4
Isolation 8 2
Bargaining
Guilt
I must protect
my child
Anger
Depression
Just let me get
If only I'd
from people.
through this....
not taken
Why me?
I can't go on...
then no more
pills, etc.
please!
what's the use?

6. Shock Occurs when the child is first diagnosed
and may reoccur as new problems are
identified or as the child misses
developmental milestones.

7. Depression The family may be unable to deal with
people offering help or advice.

8. Denial The family may not be ready to discuss
the disability.They may blame others for
the problem.

9. Guilt, Shame, Isolation The family may avoid friends, and service
providers. They may want to protect and
isolate their child.

10. Panic The family may get on an endless round
of looking for a cure for the disability.

11. Anger The family may lash out at caregivers
over minor things like lost clothing.

12. Hope and Bargaining The family may be willing to work with
providers to develop some workable
alternatives for their child, but may only
be able to deal with certain issues.

13. Acceptance The family may be at a point where they
understand that their will be good and
bad days in how they feel about their
child.

14. Activity 4.3 Quiz on Grief Cycle
With a partner, complete the quiz in your
notebook.

15. Activity 4.4 View Videotape
Refer to your discussion guide as you watch this tape.

16. Coping Strategies Passive Appraisal Reframing Spiritual Support
Social Support
Professional Support

17. Activity 4.5
What are the local resources for families in your community?
How can families locate them?