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Published byAlyson Jean Chambers Modified over 10 years ago
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What Should Have Happened… The Cycle (over and over and over again) “All those Yeses” Giving Voice Felt Safety Needs Met Preciousness!
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What Our Kids Got…. Neglect Abuse Stressful Pregnancy Difficult Birth Early Hospitalization
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Fight Flight Freeze Note: obvious and not so obvious behavioral fight, flight or freeze
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Earned Secure Attachment Sensory Integration Felt Safety
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Addresses readiness Primes child for connection Proactive principles
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Physical Needs › Physical Activity › Nuerotransmitters › Sensory Input Physiological Needs › Hydration › Nutrition › Deep Breathing Ecological Needs › Predictability › Transitions › Rituals/Artifacts
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The Goal: CONNECTION Disarm your child’s fear response Establish clear and sensitive parental authority Provide a sensory-rich environment Teach appropriate social skills Support healthy brain chemistry Help your child connect with his or her own feelings Forge a strong emotional bond between you and your child
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Valuing Eye Contact Authoritative Voice (tone, volume, cadence) Healthy Touch Behavioral Matching Playful Interaction Mindfulness › Attunement/Aware ness › Calm Presence › Creative Problem Solving › Flexible Responding
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Life Value Terms › Using Words › With Respect › Accepting NO › Listen and Obey (1 st time) Behavioral Scripts › Choices › Compromise › Redos
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Prime the Pump for Success Shared Power: Wardens vs. Coaches Time-In vs. Time-Out IDEAL Approach › Immediate (initiated within 3 seconds) › Direct (eye contact, proximity) › Efficient (least amount of force necessary) › Action-based (physically led through a “do-over”) › Leveled at behavior (NOT at the child) Total Voice Control Natural & Logical Consequences Expectations Levels of Response › Level 1 – mild challenge = use playful engagement › Level 2 – moderate challenge = firmly provide choices (structured engagement) › Level 3 – strong challenge = calming engagement/time-in › Level 4 – physical aggression = protective engagement, ending with positive reconnection
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Alert children to upcoming activities; make their day as predictable as possible Give appropriate choices for shared control Speak simply Be an effective leader Prevent sensory overload Don’t corner the child Help identify safe people Handle food issues gently Help the child meet new challenges Be approachable Introduce the child to new environments Don’t catastrophize Honor emotions Respect your child’s story
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