2. Etiquette

3. What is Etiquette? It is an indefinite set of rules of good manner & behavior It is an indefinite set of rules of good manner & behavior Comes from an old French word meaning “ticket”. Later came to mean a prescribed routine that is passed down, especially in court behavior. Comes from an old French word meaning “ticket”. Later came to mean a prescribed routine that is passed down, especially in court behavior.

4. The Evolution of Eating Middle Ages- Would use fingers to eat with Would use fingers to eat with Reserved spoons as serving utensils only Reserved spoons as serving utensils only Men brought own dagger to a meal Men brought own dagger to a meal Used a hollowed out piece of brown bread as a bowl, called trencher Used a hollowed out piece of brown bread as a bowl, called trencher In a formal banquet, what you ate & where you sat at a table based upon your station in life In a formal banquet, what you ate & where you sat at a table based upon your station in life

5. 11 th Century- 11 th Century- Italian, Domenico Selvo, marries a Greek Princess who brings the practice of using forks to his court Italian, Domenico Selvo, marries a Greek Princess who brings the practice of using forks to his court This is considered scandalous and heretical This is considered scandalous and heretical 1364- 1364- Charles V of France declares that forks are only to be used for foods that might stain fingers Charles V of France declares that forks are only to be used for foods that might stain fingers 1669- 1669- King Louis XIV of France bans pointed knives, as a weapon or at the table, as a method to reduce violence King Louis XIV of France bans pointed knives, as a weapon or at the table, as a method to reduce violence Starts the movement to a blunt tip knife Starts the movement to a blunt tip knife

6. Mid 18 th Century- Mid 18 th Century- Forks achieve their modern form of being 4 pronged Forks achieve their modern form of being 4 pronged 1920’s- 1920’s- Stainless steel utensils are created Stainless steel utensils are created

7. Styles of Service vs. Styles of Cutting

8. Russian Service- Russian Service- Elaborate Dinners with glorious foods presented in great style Elaborate Dinners with glorious foods presented in great style Food cut in the kitchen, reassembled to look whole, paraded around dining room & then served Food cut in the kitchen, reassembled to look whole, paraded around dining room & then served Foods served in succession of each other Foods served in succession of each other French Service- French Service- All food served in beautiful serving pieces arranged on table & repeated at several intervals so that the same food was in reach for all All food served in beautiful serving pieces arranged on table & repeated at several intervals so that the same food was in reach for all Origins of family and buffet styles of serving Origins of family and buffet styles of serving Downfall- food gets cold Downfall- food gets cold Styles of Serving

9. Styles of Cutting Continental Continental Knife in right hand Knife in right hand Fork in left hand Fork in left hand Tines of fork remain down Tines of fork remain down Knife used for cutting and pushing food onto fork Knife used for cutting and pushing food onto fork American American Knife held in right hand to cut Knife held in right hand to cut Place knife down and put fork in right hand to bring food to mouth Place knife down and put fork in right hand to bring food to mouth Tines of fork are up Tines of fork are up Americans only people to eat this way Americans only people to eat this way

10. A Modern Look at Etiquette…

11. The Basics Good Manners come from the inside and do not change Good Manners come from the inside and do not change Etiquette Rules come from the outside & are always changing Etiquette Rules come from the outside & are always changing Knowing the ”rules” is essential because it puts you in the position of knowing when it’s appropriate to bend them. Knowing the ”rules” is essential because it puts you in the position of knowing when it’s appropriate to bend them. A persons feelings are always more important than strictly adhering to the rules A persons feelings are always more important than strictly adhering to the rules

12. “Public” Etiquette

13. 1 st Impressions Clothing No such thing as neutral clothing No such thing as neutral clothing Everything you put on communicates something, your image is either working for or against you Everything you put on communicates something, your image is either working for or against youIntroductions Proper distance for speaking is 18” inches Proper distance for speaking is 18” inches If someone mispronounces your name don’t make a big deal about it If someone mispronounces your name don’t make a big deal about it Keep all personal belongings off the table Keep all personal belongings off the table Shaking Hands 1..2..3.. Release (you are not pumping gas) 1..2..3.. Release (you are not pumping gas) Hold your drink in left hand to avoid giving someone a cold & wet handshake Hold your drink in left hand to avoid giving someone a cold & wet handshake

14. The proper shake... The proper shake... > Involves eye contact > Involves eye contact Is firm but painless Is firm but painless Lasts about three seconds Lasts about three seconds Takes only two or three pumps Takes only two or three pumps Starts and stops crisply Starts and stops crisply Doesn't continue through the entire introduction Doesn't continue through the entire introduction Begin with your fingers together and your thumb up. Begin with your fingers together and your thumb up. Shake hands web to web, with a firm but not crush­ing grip. Shake hands web to web, with a firm but not crush­ing grip. Keep your fingers together and your thumb up. Slide the web of your hand all the way to the web of the other person's hand. Otherwise, he or she ends up shaking hands with your fingers. Also, shaking web to web effectively prevents the other per­son, no matter how strong, from crunching your knuckles. Keep your fingers together and your thumb up. Slide the web of your hand all the way to the web of the other person's hand. Otherwise, he or she ends up shaking hands with your fingers. Also, shaking web to web effectively prevents the other per­son, no matter how strong, from crunching your knuckles. Never offer only your fingertips, causing a weak, limp handshake. Never offer only your fingertips, causing a weak, limp handshake.

15. 10 Commandments of a Business Meal Thou shall not jump straight into business talk Thou shall not jump straight into business talk Thou shall not be late Thou shall not be late Thou shall not table hop Thou shall not table hop Thou shall not talk politics, diet or family Thou shall not talk politics, diet or family Thou shall not dominate the conversation Thou shall not dominate the conversation Thou shall not dawdle over the ordering or eating Thou shall not dawdle over the ordering or eating Thou shall not drink to much alcohol Thou shall not drink to much alcohol Thou shall not fight over who pays the bill Thou shall not fight over who pays the bill Thou shall not neglect thy table manners Thou shall not neglect thy table manners Thou shall not forget to show appreciation Thou shall not forget to show appreciation ** 11 th - Thou shall not have bad breath !!!*** (esp. smokers) ** 11 th - Thou shall not have bad breath !!!*** (esp. smokers)

16. Ready, Set…. Drink Ordering Alcohol- Ordering Alcohol- When in the company of strangers, follow the lead of the host if it is appropriate or not to order When in the company of strangers, follow the lead of the host if it is appropriate or not to order Wine- Wine- White Wine glasses are held by the stem, as not to diminish the chill White Wine glasses are held by the stem, as not to diminish the chill Red Wine glasses are help by the bowl, the warmth of the hand release the bouquet Red Wine glasses are help by the bowl, the warmth of the hand release the bouquet Sugar Packets- Sugar Packets- Limit the number of packets used Limit the number of packets used Place trash under saucer or tucked under placement Place trash under saucer or tucked under placement

17. Ready, Set… Eat Napkins- Napkins- Place on lap as soon as you are seated Place on lap as soon as you are seated Place on your chair when you must leave the table Place on your chair when you must leave the table The host should be the first to put the napkin on the table at conclusion of meal The host should be the first to put the napkin on the table at conclusion of meal Never flap it open or tuck it into shirt Never flap it open or tuck it into shirt What stuff is mine? What stuff is mine? Drinks on the right, solids (bread plate) on the left Drinks on the right, solids (bread plate) on the left

18. When to start- When to start- Start only when everyone every one else has been served Start only when everyone every one else has been served Buffets are the exception Buffets are the exception Do not serve yourself bread unless the host has signaled you to do so Do not serve yourself bread unless the host has signaled you to do so Pick it up and offer it to the person on your left, then serve yourself and pass to the right Pick it up and offer it to the person on your left, then serve yourself and pass to the right

19. No, No’s Don’t salt your food before you taste it-shows you make hasty decisions Don’t salt your food before you taste it-shows you make hasty decisions Don’t push your plate or chair away unless you are getting up from the table Don’t push your plate or chair away unless you are getting up from the table Don’t rearrange or stack your dirty dishes Don’t rearrange or stack your dirty dishes Never tilt your chair Never tilt your chair Don’t ask people where they are going when they get up from the table Don’t ask people where they are going when they get up from the table If you belch, excuse your self to no one particular If you belch, excuse your self to no one particular Never crumble crackers in your soup or blow on it Never crumble crackers in your soup or blow on it Don’t chew ice or other inedible parts of the meal Don’t chew ice or other inedible parts of the meal Put butter first on your plate, not directly onto your bread Put butter first on your plate, not directly onto your bread To get the last bit of soup, tilt the bowl away from you- the Tug boat goes out To get the last bit of soup, tilt the bowl away from you- the Tug boat goes out

20. Yes, Yes’s Always pass the salt & pepper together Always pass the salt & pepper together Need to get something out of your mouth- use your tongue & fork Need to get something out of your mouth- use your tongue & fork When in doubt, use a utensil rather than your fingers When in doubt, use a utensil rather than your fingers Hair in your food- don’t spoil someone else’s meal by talking about it Hair in your food- don’t spoil someone else’s meal by talking about it Food in teeth, blow nose, rearrange hair- go to the restroom Food in teeth, blow nose, rearrange hair- go to the restroom Food in someone else’s teeth- let it go if you can not be completely subtle Food in someone else’s teeth- let it go if you can not be completely subtle Don’t like your meal- who cares- tell the host you do! Don’t like your meal- who cares- tell the host you do!

21. Words to the Wise Nothing that touched your mouth should ever directly touch the table Nothing that touched your mouth should ever directly touch the table When you are finished- place your silverware at 4 o’clock When you are finished- place your silverware at 4 o’clock If you spill something don’t make a big deal about it- offer to pay for cleaning If you spill something don’t make a big deal about it- offer to pay for cleaning If you decide to pass on food being offered, simply say “No Thanks”- no explanation is needed If you decide to pass on food being offered, simply say “No Thanks”- no explanation is needed Learn to try new foods when you have the opportunity- you may be confronted with unfamiliar choices in the furture Learn to try new foods when you have the opportunity- you may be confronted with unfamiliar choices in the furture

22. Special Needs Tell the host when you accept the invitation (esp. if meal is in their home) Tell the host when you accept the invitation (esp. if meal is in their home) New restaurant- call ahead New restaurant- call ahead Never make this a topic of conversation Never make this a topic of conversation Dieting? Not when you accept an invitation to eat compliments of someone else Dieting? Not when you accept an invitation to eat compliments of someone else

23. Set the record straight… Elbow on the table? Elbow on the table? It is acceptable to have your elbows on the table if you are not eating It is acceptable to have your elbows on the table if you are not eating If you are eating, forearms only on the table If you are eating, forearms only on the table Table Manners for Kids Table Manners for Kids Same as adults Same as adults

24. Conclusion Statistics from 3 separate research projects by Harvard, Carnegie Foundation and Stanford Research Institute- Statistics from 3 separate research projects by Harvard, Carnegie Foundation and Stanford Research Institute- Success in getting, keeping and advancing in a job depends on 85% on people skills and 15% on technical knowledge and skills (This is one of the most frustrating things you’ll have to deal with !!)

25. When in doubt, follow the lead of the host When in doubt, follow the lead of the host The meal is time to visit & interact, the is always more important than the function of eating The meal is time to visit & interact, the is always more important than the function of eating Eating & Talking at the same time- take small bites so you can quickly finish and swallow before speaking Eating & Talking at the same time- take small bites so you can quickly finish and swallow before speaking Thank your host with a handwritten note- classy touch Thank your host with a handwritten note- classy touch

26. Smile- it is the ultimate gesture understood by all! Smile- it is the ultimate gesture understood by all!

27. The End!