1. Teachers for a New Era Faculty Writing Seminars Modeling Good Writing for Students Alberto Esquinca, Education, aesquinca@utep.edu Alberto Esquinca, Education, aesquinca@utep.edu Kerrie Kephart, Education, kkephart@utep.edu November 16, 2007 University Suite, Union East 11:30 AM – 1:30 PM

2. Overview What? – An approach to modeling good writing for students that makes the values and concerns of the discipline explicit. Why? – What constitutes “good writing” is not all the same everywhere. How? – Two model texts: metallurgy lab report and executive briefing from business And a caveat…

3. Lab Report: Functional stages A very formal genre- The author’s communicative purpose is made explicit by the use of headings and sub-headings. Introduction : It sets the stage, provides background, Procedure : It discusses how the experiment was carried out Results : It describes what was observed, no interpretation. It can include tables or other means to summarize the data. Discussion : It interprets results for the reader. Conclusion : It states what was determined from the experiment.

4. Lab report genre In writing, scientists must Specify what took place, what materials were used, how those materials were manipulated. Be clear in order to facilitate replicability of procedures. At the same time “Avoid personalities and reference to individual human beings and actions” (Lemke, 1990). It means that Writers foreground processes and materials and place human actors in the background.

5. Analysis of Procedures section Passive voice –Three elements: Subject Main verb Past participle Crucially- The subject position is not filled by a person who undertakes action or acted on the materials

6. Subjects Two samples of Al-2.5% Cu alloy [They] (x 3) Sample A [It] (x 2) The other sample, Sample B, It (x 2) Sample B [it] Each sample (x 6) The samples

7. Past participles All but one are verbs of doing, acting. In everyday language they would be used as a person action on an object. In science discourse, the human actor is removed. Replicability is the motivation.

8. Past participles made put (x 2) melted, remelted kept (x 2) taken out poured into (x 2) cut down ground polished etched (x 2)

9. Review No human actors. Subjects are inanimate objects (“samples”). Replicability is the guiding principle being enacted in the text. Anybody should be able do the procedures. References to specific people is avoided.

10. Compare Student writing in 4th grade science –Does include references to specific people doing things and acting on objects.

12. 4th grade science writing “When we made a circuit… “When we wrapped a wire.. “When we made a circuit …”

13. Discussion section analysis The student uses linguistic resources to interpret, explain, attribute and, in general, produce a reasonable explanation for observed phenomena.

14. Causality connectors Due to (x 6) Because (x 3) Therefore (x 4) since

15. Causality in nouns effect reason a direct result (x 2) possibility (x 3)

16. Causality in a verb Made The heat flow outward in all directions around the crucible made the dendrites grow towards the center of the crucible. Energy --> growth

17. In sum The procedure establishes the activities that were carried out in the experiment. –But the emphasis is on the activity, not the person who undertook the actions. The discussion offers up a reasoned explanation for why what was observed took place. –Causality is mostly done through connectors, but also through nouns and verbs. Each section of the lab report has different purposes. Words (nouns, verbs, connectors) are used to fulfill the communicative purpose.

18. Analysis of Executive Briefing: Functional Stages 1. Introduction 1. Introduction – Introduces the issue or problem. Contains the primary recommendation for action, usually within the first paragraph. 2. Company and Industry Background 2. Company and Industry Background – Provides just enough information about the source of the issue/problem to set the context for the analysis. (Comes from the case study materials.) 3. Analysis 3. Analysis – Reflects the implementation of tools of strategic analysis (taught in the course). Must lead logically to the primary recommendation. Often presented as a table. 4. Recommendations 4. Recommendations – Provides more detailed discussion of the primary recommendation, including any prerequisites, parts, or processes involved in implementing the recommendation. 5. Conclusion 5. Conclusion – Briefly reiterates the primary recommendation and justification.

19. Analysis of Executive Briefing: Valued Features Brevity, succinctness, and “skimmability ” – “Time is money.” Specificity – recommended actions need to refer clearly to the relevant actors and the entities being acted upon. Balance – analysis must demonstrate a balanced approach. Boldness – although alternatives are often presented, analysis must lead logically toward a clear course of action.

20. Analysis of Executive Briefing: Organization and Content Introduction – foregrounding of recommendation helps meet time concerns. Background – Choice of information to include. Analysis – Use of tables organizes information succinctly, shows relationships among ideas, and leads toward recommendations.

21. Analysis of Executive Briefing: Word Choice and Grammar Hedging the analysis – use of “may” in “Barriers to Value Creation.” Noun phrase for recommendation – makes the major decision sound like a “done deal.” Use of abbreviations – meets goal of succinctness; demonstrates membership in the “business management” discourse community.

22. Steps in Explicit Modeling of Texts 1.Identify the text type/genre that you want students to learn to write. 2.Choose an exemplar of the genre as a model. 3.Analyze the major sections or “stages” of the text – identify the functional purposes and content of each stage. 4.Analyze specific stylistic, vocabulary, and grammar choices that express the purposes of the text. 5.Keep in mind the values and concerns of the discipline and how these are expressed in the text. 6.Present the model to students – use slides and discuss it in class, prepare a handout, and/or post the annotated model text in the course website.

23. Tentative Topics for Spring Peer-Review and Writing Conferences Dealing with Plagiarism Second language learners’ issues “Have You Tried This?” – faculty across campus share strategies & experiences