1. DCQ Timed Writing Debrief

2. Some ineffective and/or vague openings Embed AFTA quotations more smoothly – (Smoother) Identify characters/people when you first mention them - unclear (ID) Underline the title of a book when handwriting Clearer statement of stance/position needed – THESIS! Some theses set up expository essays instead of arguments. State issue and stance on that issue clearly.

3. In the acclaimed novel, A Farewell to Arms, Ernest Hemingway’s narrator Lieutenant Henry describes the scene of illegally entering Switzerland from Italy during WWI. He states, “They questioned us but they were polite because we had passports and money…so they gave us provisional visas” (Hemingway). Too often this same theme is found in modern day society – the rich are excluded from the law because of their monetary status and positions in society – giving them an unfair advantage.

4. Handwriting – If they can’t read it, no matter how wonderful it is, you won’t get credit for it! Still some unclear pronoun references people who…not people that “fewer” if you can count it – “less” if you can’t Passive voice is awkward“It is proven…” “It is argued…” “ It is said…” Don’t refer to paper – AWKward In general some AWKward wording Embed quotations smoothly and avoid using long quotations. You don’t want a cut-and-paste essay.

5. Explain - continually tie support back to your stance/thesis. Of course if your stance/thesis is unclear, your explanation will likely be unclear as well. Over-generalizations can be illogical and/or offensive to your audience; don’t alienate potential readers Teenage opinions without proof/support isn’t very convincing – no offense Increase LOGOS support and you will increase your ethos appeal Go global! Work to make your support show your knowledge. Show off what you know!

6. More researched support was needed in many papers If you are going to use pop-culture or adolescent examples (songs, TV shows, Dr. Seuss movies, etc.), you must discuss academically. How is it that these can aid your argument intellectually? They can, you just have to do it (to show the pervasiveness of the subject matter, etc…) Be sure to ACCURATELY document all borrowed information. Don’t plagiarize. The more you can show that you not only know the information but know the source of that information, the smarter you look. Xxxxxxx (Smith). Period goes after the parentheses!!

7. Engage your expert sources as a part of the text of your essay (According to…) When you don’t attribute your sources you are essentially pretending to be the expert – borderline plagiarism. Name & credit researched info/“expert” sources in the text of your essay – beyond parenthetical documentation to gain ethos (credibility with your reader).  Quotes don’t fall from the sky. Identify who or what group is stating whatever info/words you are borrowing  Data comes from studies and polls; some of those are credible and some are not. Identify the person, group or institution that collected and/or published this data

8. Class & Home Preparation = 20 points (Total points for this portion are in red on the classwork page)  Class (quotations, issues, thesis statements) = 4 points  Sources = 16 points: 8 points for each set of sources (4 for each individual source) Essays = 80 points (Comments, essay scores & circled final grades are in red on the front of your packets) 9 = 804 = 55 8 = 753 = 50 7 = 702 = 45 6 = 651 = 40 5 = 60