1. Parenting Impact on Alcohol/Drug Use and Abuse
Chapter 6
Parenting
Impact on Alcohol/Drug Use and Abuse

2. Chapter Objectives
Explain the role parent-child bonding plays in preventing problem behaviors and future alcohol/drug problems.
Define the diagnostic criteria of abandonment depression.
Describe the child temperaments that may contribute or make the child at-risk for substance abuse.
Explain “quality” of parent-child relationship and its impact on substance use and abuse.

3. Chapter Objectives
Define shame and describe the domains of shame and the common affect-shame binds.
Describe rejection sensitivity, difficulty making decisions, and poor frustration tolerance.
Classify behaviors that indicate parental imbalance.
Define and describe boundaries and boundary inadequacy.

4. Chapter Objectives Describe triangulation in the family.
Describe the impact of parental use or abuse of alcohol/drugs on the child’s future use or abuse.
Describe the imbalanced life cycles of families.

5. Parent-Child Bonding Abandonment Depression
An affective disorder with six key elements:
Homicidal rage
Suicidal depression
Panic
Feelings of hopelessness/helplessness
Emptiness and void
Guilt
Impact of early abandonment on adult interpersonal relationships

6. Parent-Child Bonding Child’s Temperament
Evidence that extremes in certain temperament traits, such as high activity level, emotionality, attention span, and sociability are associated with children of alcoholics.
Aspects of temperament may predict the behavior problems and substance abuse problems that frequently arise during adolescence.

7. Parenting Styles That Shame Children
The self looking at itself, and finding it lacking, flawed, inadequate.
Is like a flash flood of emotion that wipes out the interpersonal connection with people
Differences between a shame-based system and balanced system
Shame-based
No hope, inescapable, and exterior-based
Balanced system
Hope-choice, can make amends, internally based

8. Parents’ Shame
Parents who have not done a good job of parenting may experience shame.

9. Shame and Feelings
Shame is a very powerful feeling, and when it is attached to other feelings, they are escalated:
Anger plus shame equals rage
Adolescent sexual identity and shame
Sexual violation and shame
Drug, sex, and shame

10. Characteristics of Shame and Abandonment
Rejection sensitivity
Fear and difficulty making decisions
Poor frustration tolerance
Other reactions and defenses
Overly defensive
Extremely critical or judgemental
Rage or distorted thinking
Masking true feelings and emotions

11. Parental Imbalance and Boundary Setting
Clear boundaries
Allow mutual respect and concern
Enmeshed boundaries
Are inflexible, are unyielding, and leave no room for differences
Disengaged boundaries
Are overly rigid, with little or no opportunity for communication

12. Boundary Inadequacy Ambiguous boundary inadequacy
A pattern of double messages
Overly rigid boundary inadequacy
Smooth and efficient functioning is a priority over being responsive and adaptable
Invasive boundary inadequacy
An imbalance of power is used to objectify people

13. Boundary Ambiguity Stage 1 – Clustering Stage 2 – Conflict
Stage 3 – Individuation
Stage 4 - Connection

14. Triangulation
Triangulation is at least two adults involved in an off-spring’s problem, where the parent-child dyad is pitted against a more peripheral parent, stepparent, grandparent, parent’s lover, or another relative.

15. Triangulation

16. Imbalanced Life Cycles of Families
Relationships between families and the joining of families
Family and the young child
Family and the adolescent
Launching of children
Later life

17. Fathers of Alcoholics/Addicts
Dealing with resistance
Reassure the father that he is important
Point out that changes depend on his action
Make the father aware that he has the power to sabotage treatment
Note that the father has choices
Place responsibility for change squarely on father’s shoulders
Get the father to consider realigning his priorities