1. Looking ahead…..  Group proposal form due March 24 th /March 25 th  Next week – 2 application exercises (30 pts each)  AE#11 – Conflicts and Relationships  AE #12 – Relationships Handout  Both already posted on faculty webpage  30 pts; pay special attention to spelling and grammar!

2. Recap of Chapter 8

3. Reviewing Self-Disclosure  True/False: Self-Disclosure must involve intentionality, choice, private information, and risk  Which is more personal/private? History or Story  True/False: Self-Disclosure is an objective process  How does reciprocity factor into self-disclosure?  What are some reasons individuals choose to self- disclose?  What are some reasons individuals decide NOT to self-disclose?  What does the Social Penetration Model/Theory say about personal information and self-disclosure?

4. Communicating Conflict Chapter 9 Recap/Lecture

5. True or False?  Conflict is avoidable  Conflict can be productive

6. Interpersonal Conflict  “The interaction of interdependent people who perceive incompatible goals and interference from each other in achieving those goals” (p. 180)

7. Elements of Interpersonal Conflict  Interaction  Created/sustained through communication  Interdependence  Some relationship; need for each other  Perceptions  ….of incompatible goals  Also consider selective perceptions (in interactions)  Conflict as Goal Oriented  Incompatible goals

8. Types of Conflict  Image Conflicts  Disagreement about self definition/image  Content (Substantive) Conflicts  Public vs. Private  Revolves around an issue  Value Conflicts  Addresses a question of right or wrong  Relational Conflicts  Issues about a relationship  Serial Conflicts  Focuses on time frame; not subject (unlike other 4 types)  Recur over time; no resolution  Serial Conflicts  Meta-Conflicts  Overlapping?

9. Communication Patterns  Symmetrical Escalation  Symmetrical Withdrawal  Pursuit-Withdrawal vs. Withdrawal-Pursuit  Symmetrical Negotiation  Which of the patterns are positive? Negative?

10. Explaining/Understanding Conflict The Four-Part Model  Interdependence of Four Parts; happen simultaneously  You and Me: Participants  Context: Emotional background  Subject: Topic of the argument  Ignoring any part; unhealthy  Placating (no “me”)  Pouncing (no “you”)  Computing (no “context”)  Distracting (no “subject”) The Explanatory Process Model  Conflict occurs in episodes  Distal Context  Proximal Context  Conflict Interaction  Proximal Outcomes  Distal Outcomes Background

11. Application Exercise #9 (10 pts)  Create a short skit about interpersonal conflict based on the type of conflict you are assigned  Your skit should walk us through the conflict and ways to mediate the conflict—based on what was learned through the chapter  Use an example of a communication pattern  After each skit, groups will have to walk us through how the skit served as a real life example of interpersonal conflict  Using the Four Part Model or the Explanatory Model  Cannot pull an example from the book; be creative!!!

12. Application Exercise #10 (10 pts)  Watch two of the clips provided  Respond to the following (for each clip): (1) Type of Conflict? Explain your answer. (2) Explain the Context; must focus on one of the four specific types (3) How was verbal and nonverbal communication used during the conflict? (e.g. to it add to the conflict, help mediate, share emotions, help with expression?) (4) How was the conflict resolved OR how could it have been resolved?  We will watch videos and discuss in class.  Format: Numbered responses for each of the 2 clips, typed  Due Wednesday/Thursday

13. Clips for AE#10  Oceans 11  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=- p0hB3a8uag&sns=em http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=- p0hB3a8uag&sns=em  Freaky Friday  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HB2fUj eDR30 (Starts round the 0:30 mark) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HB2fUj eDR30  Sex and the City  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mKZIl 8U6z4&sns=em http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mKZIl 8U6z4&sns=em  Martin  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5j4eziAhPPo (Beginning to 1:20) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5j4eziAhPPo  Girlfriends  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVnDrV2a4Ao (Around the 4:20 mark) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVnDrV2a4Ao

14. Dark Side vs. Bright Side Dark Side of Conflict  Bullying  Violence and Aggression Bright Side of Conflict  Managing conflict  part of being a competent communicator  Productive conflict management  promotes physical and mental health  Expressing feelings; learning those of others  Relationship maintenance  Increasing confidence  Increasing depth  Improves decision making skills

15. Myths about Conflict  All conflict is a result of miscommunication  Good communication resolves ALL conflict  Talking about conflict is always the best strategy  Additional:  All conflict is negative  Conflict is avoidable

16. Role of Gender, Sex, and Culture  Gender and Sex  Relational life vs. Public life  Collaborative vs. Competitive  Culture  How we behave in conflict  What we have conflict about

17. Power and Conflict  How do the two relate?  Power = ‘ability to control behavior of others’  Use of Power  Direct application of power (e.g. spanking)  Direct and virtual use of power (e.g. threatening to spank)  Indirect application of power (e.g. “I’d like to see that room clean asap”)  Relational messages (e.g. “I’m your mother”)  Hidden Power (e.g. Turning down date; mom won’t approve)  Power is relational  Most consider responses to power  Sex differences?  Empowerment  Example – Desperate Housewives  How was power used?

18. Conflict Management  Staying calm (lightening up)  Stay in the present  Acknowledge other’s comments  Provide nonverbal and verbal feedback  Reframing  Presume/express goodwill; don’t expect the worst  Ask questions  Listen  Consider active listening  Practice cultural sensitivity

19. App. Exercise #11 (30 pts); 3/24-25  Think about one of your interpersonal relationships  How do you label the relationship—what type?  Tell me about the relational culture (e.g. unique communication patterns, part of relational history or uniqueness)  Reflect back on a conflict within your relationship  What type? Explain classification; don’t have to go into detail about actual conflict  How did the relationship impact the conflict? For example—would this have played out differently if you were conversing with a stranger?  Revisit the explanatory process model; how did the proximal and distal outcomes impact the relationship? If there was no impact—explain why you think this is the case.  Respond to these questions in a 1-1.5 page, typed paper; will add to this in class

20. Application Exercise #12 (30 pts) Due 3/26-27  Complete the handout on my faculty webpage (in chart of Application exercises)  Type; Number answers  Will discuss in class

21. GROUP TIME