1. Chapter 2 The Nature of Conflict

2. How do you view conflict  As a battle to be won?  As a problem to be solved?  As a danger?  As an opportunity? Your view of conflict determines, to a large extent,whether or not a creative solution will be found.

3. Conflict Defined  Contemporary definitions focus on interdependence instead of unalterable opposition. Expamples include:  “A situation in which interdependent people express differences in satisfying their individual needs and interests, and they experience interference from each other in accomplishing these goals” (Donohue & Kolt, 1992)  “Conflict arises when a difference between two or more people necessitates change in at least one person in order for their engagement to continue and develop. The differences cannot coexist without some adjustment.” (Jordan, 1990)

4. A simple, useful definition  Conflict is an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from others in achieving their goals.  Transforming a conflict depends on perceptual or conceptual change in one or more of the parties. Perception is at the core of all conflict analysis.  You must sort out what is actually happening from the perception of what is happening

5. Continuums of Conflict Management Continuua from least adjudicative to most adjudicative have been developed by a variety of students of conflict  Least adjudicative: Private decision-making by the parties:  Conflict avoidance  Informal discussion and problem-solving  Negotiation  Mediation

6. Next on Continuum: Private, third- party decision-making  Administrative Arbitration decision (Note that as you move along the continuum, the likelihood of a win-lose outcome increases)

7. Next Level: Public, Legal, authoritative third-party decision-making  Judicial, Legislative decision-making

8. Extralegal coerced decision-making  Nonviolent/Violent  Direct action

9. Elements of Conflict  The elements must be examined carefully if conflict is to be clarified enough to “re-solve”  An expressed struggle  Interdependence  Perceived Incompatible Goals  Perceived scarce resources  Interference

10. An Expressed Struggle  Communication is the central element in all interpersonal conflict:  Communication behavior often creates conflict  Communication behavior reflects conflict  Communication is the vehicle for the productive or destructive management of conflict  Intrapersonal perceptions are the foundation for conflict, but only when conflicts are communicated in some way does an “interpersonal conflict” emerge

11. Interdependence  A person who has no special interest in what another does has no conflict with that other person.  In all conflicts, therefore, interdependence carries elements of cooperation and elements of competition.  Parties decide the extent to which they will operate in an interdependent or independent way  “We are in this together” versus “Doing my own thing”  Parties must decide how much they are willing to allow the other party or parties to influence their choices  Real relationships have natural rhythms

12. Perceived Incompatible Goals  People fight over needs, but often not the ones they SAY they are fighting over  Making the real goals clear, and clarifying the value to each party in helping meet one another’s needs can help move people forward with their relationships  Whether or not the goals are really incompatible, the perception that they are is central to all conflict

13. Perceived Scarce Resources  Resources are defined as “any positively perceived physical, economic, or social consequence.”  A resource can be anything perceived as valuable and limited– from affection to money to status  Some resources are truly limited and others more limitless, but it is the perception of the resource and how it is distributed that is important to understand in conflict situations (e.g. Power and Self Esteem)

14. Interference  If the presence of another person interferes with desired actions, conflict intensifies  Parents vs. teenagers – these conflicts often involve this element

15. Destructive Conflict: Individual Communication  Conflict can be constructive or destructive depending on the context and the communication behaviors exhibited  Gottman (1999) refers to four communication practices that predict the end of a relationship unless something is done to turn things around

16. The Four Horses of the Apolcalypse  Critical Start-up sets the tone for any conflict  Defensiveness characterizes destructive conflict  Stonewalling occurs when one person withdraws from the interaction  Contempt contributes to destructive conflict

17. Exercise: Defusing Critical Start-Up  Changing “criticisms” to “complaints  Let’s think of some critical statements we have experienced from others  Small Group activity: Choose two critical statements within your group and reframe them into legitimate complaints

18. Destructive Conflict Spirals: Characterized by:  Avoidance patterns that reduce the chance for productive conflict  Attack/withdraw or Pursue/Flee pattern  Poorly expressed strong emotion  Reciprocity of negative emotion  Retaliation  Inflexibility or rigidity  A competitive system of dominance and subordination  Demeaning verbal and nonverbal communication such as ridicule and contempt

19. Constructive Conflict  The purpose of this course is to help you learn to create (and help others create) constructive, healthy conflict

20. Analysis of Elements of Healthy Conflict  The parties express the elements of their struggle clearly  Perceptions of interdependence are “checked out” and verified  Goals that are perceived as incompatible are disclosed to ensure that there really is a conflict  If resources are scarce, alternatives like sharing or use of other resources are explored  The perception that parties are blocking or interfering with another’s goals is examined