2. That Wins Friends & Influences People

3. Seminar Objectives  Close the gap between how we see ourselves and how we are perceived  Increase self-confidence by recoloring our attitude  Effectively manage our thoughts and behaviors  Learn techniques for relating to others  Practice methods for creating cooperation in negative situations

4. Types of Image  External Image  Internal Image  Interpersonal Image  Interactive Image

5. Image Factors Appearance Attitude Control Communication People Skills Competence

10. We are judged by… How we say it What we say What we do How we look

11. External Image  Dress  Facial Expression  Vocal Inflection  Eye Contact  Gestures  Posture  Physical contact

12. Treat the disease, not the symptoms Dale Carnegie

13. Self-Introduction  Name  Organization  Job Description  Major Challenge (incident)  Image Impact

14. Confidence Scale Fearful Confident Aggressive Ferocious Courageous Arrogant Anxious Paralyzed Desirable Range

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16. Johari Window Known to You Unknown to You Known by Others Unknown by Others Common Ground Blind Spots Facade Potential

17. Reshaping the Window Known to You Unknown to You Known by Others Unknown by Others —Reveal yourself —Learn about others —Reveal yourself —Learn about others —Solicit feedback —Coach & mentor —Solicit feedback —Coach & mentor —Showcase abilities —Project acceptance —Showcase abilities —Project acceptance —Take risks to grow —Help others achieve their potential —Take risks to grow —Help others achieve their potential

18. Action Plan  Identify behaviors to change  Benefits to you  Benefits to others  Benefits to organization  Measure progress

19. Remembering Names Look and Listen Impression Repetition Association Business Rhyme Appearance Meaning Mind Picture Similar Name

20. Building Relationships Name Where does he/she live? Where do he/she work? Does job involve travel? Hobbies, interests? One idea?

21. Building Questions  Factual  Causative  Probing

22. For Tomorrow  Take some action toward improving your image  Contact someone you trust, respect, and know well and get candid feedback on your image  Write six questions you would have difficulty answering or would not want to be asked

23. That Wins Friends & Influences People

24. That Wins Friends & Influences People Day 2

25. Assignment for Today  Take some action toward improving your image  Contact someone you trust, respect, and know well and get candid feedback on your image  Write six questions you would have difficulty answering or would not want to be asked

26. Report  Who did you talk to?  What did they say?  What did you say?  Insights from yesterday?  What did you learn?  Clarify your objective? Feedback

27. Internal Image  Identify achievements  Personal qualities  Paint positive pictures  Listen for positive feedback

28. Interpersonal Image  Contribute to relationships  Recognize limitations  Control the climate

29. Strengthen Relationships  Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain  Give honest, sincere appreciation  Arouse in the other person an eager want  Become genuinely interested in other people

30. More …  Smile  Use the person’s name  Be a good listener  Talk about others’ interests  Make others feel important —and do it sincerely

31. Build trust  Evaluate mutual level of trust  Prioritize for critical relationships  Evaluate your thinking  Identify application opportunities  Who  Common Ground  Façade/Blind Spot/Potential  Principles  Action

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33. Positive Feedback & Strength Comments  Person  Quality, Trait, or Accomplishment  Evidence  Application

34. Credibility and Impact For the highest credibility, combine the noting of specific accomplishments with recognition of the person’s personal qualities, strengths and traits that made those accomplishments possible

35. Interactive Image  Create Cooperation  Find Common Ground

36. Four Relationship Perspectives + Me Others Manipulation “Door Mat” Lose - Lose Win - Win - - + - - ++

37. Gain Cooperation  To get the best of an argument, avoid it  Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say “you’re wrong.”  If you are wrong, admit it quickly  Begin in a friendly way  Get the other person saying “yes”  Let the other person do most of the talking

38. Gain Cooperation  Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers  Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view  Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires  Appeal to the nobler motives  Dramatize your ideas  Throw down a challenge

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40. Keep and Improve Image under Pressure  Be Honest  Take Responsibility  Come Prepared  Take Initiative  Always the Positive First

41. Handling Critical Situations  Find the positive before responding back, then respond back  The positive about ________ is ________.  And, yes, it is correct that ________.  And by the way, let me say that ________.

42. Give Constructive Criticism Preparations:  Choose a person—you care for  Go through the 4 problem-solving questions: 1. What is the problem? 2. Why is it a problem? 3. What are alternative solutions? 4. Which is the best solution?  Go through the last set of principles and choose which ones to work with

43. Give Constructive Criticism Delivery:  Set the context in an unfearful way  Invite the person to a conversation  Bring up the problem and focus on the problem—not the person  Take responsibility for yourself  Ask for commitment

44. Be a Leader  Begin with praise and honest appreciation  Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly  Talk about your own mistakes first  Ask questions instead of giving direct orders  Let the other person save face

45. Be a Leader  Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement  Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to  Use encouragement-Make the fault seem easy to correct  Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

46. That Wins Friends & Influences People