1. KNOTS There is something I don’t know that I am supposed to know.
I don’t know what it is I don’t know,
and yet am supposed to know,
and I feel I look stupid
if I seem not to know
and not to know what it is I don’t know.
Therefore I pretend I know it.
This is nerve wracking
since I don’t know what I must pretend to know.
Therefore I pretend to know everything.
I feel you know what I am supposed to know
but you can’t tell me what it is
because you don’t know that I don’t know what it is.
You may know what I don’t know, but not
that I don’t know it,
and I can’t tell you. So you will have to tell me everything.
R D Laing

2. Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
CHAPTER THREE
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I fall in . . .it is a habit . . but
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
CHAPTER FOUR
I walk around it.
CHAPTER FIVE
I walk down a different street.
CHAPTER ONE
I walk down the street,
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost I am helpless
It isn’t my fault
It takes forever to find a way out.
CHAPTER TWO
I walk down the same street.
I pretend I do not see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
1993 Portia Nelson
From There’s a Hole in the Sidewalk
Beyond words Publishing, Inc

3. entering the space / working out how to act
FORMING
entering the space / working out how to act
FORMING
Concerns and actions - reserved, needing to be led, wanting direction, expecting to be told

4. Facilitator as Leader Regardless of how we facilitate
participants enter the learning space ASSUMING that we know and they don’t
Confusion and disappointment emerges if this is not how we operate
They are being disturbed from a state of comfortable dependence
Psychological dependence is neither good nor bad in itself
However - excessive dependence places a serious [and unnecessary] burden on the leader

5. The two groups present when we meet
Wilfred Bion
The two groups present when we meet
TASK group
Focus on work
Agendas
Discuss tasks
‘Rational’ decision making
Goal (outcome) oriented
BASIC ASSUMPTION Group
Trust
Expectations
Concerns
Leader as the ‘goal’
Feelings

6. Three Basic Assumption States
Dependency Group
Members do what they are told with a sense of comfort even complacency
Fight/Flight
When there is no recognized leader, fear emerges. Members enact this fear by
fighting for control of the group or leaving (flight)
Pairing
The development of the group is frozen by a hope of being rescued by two members who will pair off and somehow create an unborn leader

7. “Black Hole” events For me –
The trigger is usually a point in a workshop/program where I am working with material I am passionate about
I am ‘in full flight’ – engaged, excited, wishing to convey my enthusiasm
Someone begins to ask about matters of ‘fact’ which appear to me as a ‘challenge’
I respond
They respond
And we being ‘disappearing’ into a debate that holds everyone’s attention and loses purpose and focus