1. @PookyH www.inourhands.com pooky@inourhands.com Top Tips for Active Listening Dr Pooky Knightsmith

2. @PookyH www.inourhands.com pooky@inourhands.com When I ask young people about how their parents or teachers can help them to overcome their difficulties, the answer that always comes out on top is: LISTEN! So here are a few ideas to make sure you’re listening as effectively as possible.

3. @PookyH www.inourhands.com pooky@inourhands.com No Time Pressure Don’t sit down to talk unless you’ve got time to listen. If you can’t listen now, arrange to sit down and talk later and explain why. Needing to leave just as a child starts opening up is bad news all round.

4. @PookyH www.inourhands.com pooky@inourhands.com No Distractions Give the child your full attention by ensuring you have no distractions. Turn your phone and computer screen off and try to avoid people interrupting you by asking not to be disturbed if possible.

5. @PookyH www.inourhands.com pooky@inourhands.com Body Language Think carefully about the story that your body is telling. Try to make the child feel comfortable by uncrossing your arms and legs and relaxing your hands. Nod and smile to encourage them.

6. @PookyH www.inourhands.com pooky@inourhands.com Show You’re Listening As well as smiling and nodding, make listening noises (‘uhuh’ ‘hmmm’) every now and then to encourage the child to continue talking. Uhuh….

7. @PookyH www.inourhands.com pooky@inourhands.com Reflect Periodically reflect and summarise what has been been said. This both shows that you’ve been paying attention and gives you a chance to clarify any misunderstandings.

8. @PookyH www.inourhands.com pooky@inourhands.com Talk Minimally The child should be doing most of the talking – if you’re talking more than 20% of the time then try to redress the balance by asking open questions to encourage the child to explore their feelings.

9. @PookyH www.inourhands.com pooky@inourhands.com Physical Barriers Make the child feel relaxed and like there are no barriers to conversation by removing yourself from a situation where furniture forms physical barriers – such as a desk in-between you.

10. @PookyH www.inourhands.com pooky@inourhands.com Don’t Guess We can be guilty of hearing what we expect to hear. Remain open minded and ensure that you hear what the student actually has to say, rather than what you expect them to say.

11. @PookyH www.inourhands.com pooky@inourhands.com Summary No Time Pressure No Distractions Body Language Show You’re Listening Reflect Talk Minimally Physical Barriers Don’t Guess These are clickable links and will take you to the relevant slide...

12. Need more support? Dr Pooky Knightsmith specialises in mental health and emotional well-being in the school setting. She can provide training sessions or workshops for school staff, parents or students on a variety of topics, including self-harm, anxiety, body image and eating disorders. For further information and free resources visit www.inourhands.com Email: pooky@inourhands.com Twitter: @PookyH LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/pooky