1. Creating and Maintaining Healthy Relationships

2. Jesus’ relationships & discernment Mark 10.17-22 audio, power point & pdf @ karenvineyard.org

3. Lies Men tell, lies Women tell Men lie to make themselves feel better, women like to make someone else feel better. Am I fat? Did you like my friends? How much did it cost? Did you like the food?

4. How did you know when they are lying?

5. Definition of discernment “The habit of faith by which we are properly disposed to hear and respond to God’s word.” -Luke Timothy Johnson

6. “Discernment is not knowing the difference between right and wrong. It is knowing the difference between right and almost right.” C.H. Spurgeon

7. Jesus uses discernment in relationship to... Assess the genuineness of relationship vv.17-18 Reveal the integrity of the relationship vv.19-20 Expose the limits of the relationship vv.21-22

8. Jesus uses discernment in relationship to... Assess the genuineness of relationship vv.17-18

9. A dramatic kneel

10. Losing ourselves in... The presence of others The opinions of others The personality of others The domination of others “Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 10.39

11. We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words. 1 Corinthians 2.12-13

12. Discernment & decision making

13. Jesus uses discernment in relationship to... Reveal the integrity of the relationship vv.19-20

14. "God speaks to everyone. But too many times we are waiting to hear what we want to hear instead of waiting to hear what God wants us to hear." - St. Augustine

15. Fire Stage Fantasy Stage Fighting Stage Fallout Stage Flight Stage.

16. Kingdom values Will this person add value to your life? Has this person built you up? When you are with this person are there Biblical qualities present? Humility? Christ-centered? Generosity? Sacrifice? Worshipper? Initiate prayer with you?

17. Discernment is given to raise holiness in others. We are given discernment to reinforce God’s work in someone’s life.

18. Jesus uses discernment in relationship to... Expose the limits of the relationship vv.21-22

19. Test the relationship 1) Slow down. Take your foot of the accelerator. 2) Step away from the vehicle. Get perspective. 3) Kick the tires. Test the relationship. 4) Take yourself for a test drive. Get to know yourself.

20. The personal cost of discernment “The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.” 1 Corinthians 2.14

21. “Most of our assumptions have outlived their uselessness." Marshall McLuhan

22. God Has An App for That

23. Instructions for Downloading the App:

24. Surrender to the proper source of discernment. Confess and let go of past patterns and choices. Confess the limits you’ve put on your relationship with God. Ask to be made genuinely His before asking others to be genuine. Ask for His integrity to be formed in you so you can discover it in others.