1. Covenant Relationships Covenant Collateral

2. Review Covenant relationships form the basis for all other human relationships: trust, love, arguing, serving, others-centeredness, faith, perseverance Covenant relationships form the basis for all other human relationships: trust, love, arguing, serving, others-centeredness, faith, perseverance

3. Review A covenant involves the whole person, binding 2 parties together in permanent and unconditional unity A covenant involves the whole person, binding 2 parties together in permanent and unconditional unity God created a covenant with Abram that was contingent only upon God keeping his word God created a covenant with Abram that was contingent only upon God keeping his word

4. Review Covenants are reconfirmed, not renegotiated Covenants are reconfirmed, not renegotiated They take precedence over every other human relationship They take precedence over every other human relationship Covenants are not contingent upon the other person measuring up to some standard Covenants are not contingent upon the other person measuring up to some standard

5. Covenant Collateral How does Jesus treat the church?

6. How Does Jesus Treat the Church? How does Jesus treat the church? Loves her unconditionally Put her interests above his/serves her regardless of expectation Sees her as she can be & sets her free to become it Helps her grow/become pure and holy Protects her Provides for her Never walks away from her

7. Love Seeks the best interests of the other person- if though it may be undeserved- and even if it causes sacrifice to do so Seeks the best interests of the other person- if though it may be undeserved- and even if it causes sacrifice to do so

8. Covenant Collateral Headship Headship Submission Submission

9. Covenant Collateral Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything - Ephesians 5:21-24

10. Submission= hupotasso: a continuing attitude of willful subordination of one’s desires, wants and needs to another Submission= hupotasso: a continuing attitude of willful subordination of one’s desires, wants and needs to another Others-centered Others-centered

11. Submission is Submission is Mutual Mutual Under and based on Christ (out of reverence for) Under and based on Christ (out of reverence for) Involves Headship Involves Headship

12. Covenant Collateral How does the Church submit to Jesus?

13. Covenant Collateral How does the Church submit to Jesus? Seeks to please him in all things Obeys Trusts and respects Praises and speaks well of Looks to Jesus as a provider

14. Headship is: Headship is: Positional Positional Imitative of Christ Imitative of Christ Involves responsibility not rights Involves responsibility not rights

15. Covenant Collateral …the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”- Genesis 3:9 On that day the LORD made a covenant with Abram- Genesis 15:18

16. Headship is not: Headship is not: Inequality Inequality Domineering Domineering Unreasonable- it’s not about expectations, but serving Unreasonable- it’s not about expectations, but serving Unilateral Unilateral Headship is responsibility and service Headship is responsibility and service

17. Covenant Collateral Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything - Ephesians 5:21-24

18. In everything?? In everything??

19. Love and obedience to Jesus are the limiters Love and obedience to Jesus are the limiters

20. What if he’s not a good man? (cf. 1 Peter 3:1) What if he’s not a good man? (cf. 1 Peter 3:1)

21. Covenant Collateral Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word…

22. The measure of a man is not what he gets, but what he gives The measure of a man is not what he gets, but what he gives

23. Covenant Collateral …and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless- vs. 25-27

24. Covenant Collateral The head of the church sacrificed his desires in order to serve the church- in order that his bride could become all that she was created to be. And in the end, he blessed himself by putting her first

25. Covenant Collateral The actions and attitudes of my wife are a direct result of the quality of my love for her

26. …just as Christ loved the church… DomineeringWimpy Prideful, arrogant, unwilling to listen, disrespectful Afraid, conflict-averse, swayed by opinions/emotions rather than truth Results in: resentment, poor choices, acting like a fool, angry children, hindered prayers Results in: lack of respect, poor choices, resentment, children gone wild Diagnosis: Repent

27. Covenant Collateral In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself…

28. Covenant Collateral …After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body…

29. Covenant Collateral …“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church…

30. Covenant Collateral …However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband- vs. 28-33

31. Covenant Collateral She NeedsHe Needs - Love - Security - Protection - Provision - Honesty and Openness - Conversation/Emotional Support - Family Commitment - Respect - Intimacy - Recreational Companionship - Individuality -Her to be attractive for him/ attracted to him - Words of encouragement - Wisdom

32. Covenant Collateral Now Sarai, Abram's wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian maidservant named Hagar; so she said to Abram, "The LORD has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family through her" – Genesis 16:1-2

33. Covenant Collateral Who sinned?

34. Covenant Collateral Who paid the price?

35. Covenant Collateral As he was about to enter Egypt, he said to his wife Sarai, "I know what a beautiful woman you are. When the Egyptians see you, they will say, 'This is his wife.' Then they will kill me but will let you live…

36. Covenant Collateral …Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you”- Genesis 12:11-13

37. Covenant Collateral Who sinned?

38. Covenant Collateral Who paid the price?

39. When covenant partners compromise covenant responsibilities, there’s always collateral damage When covenant partners compromise covenant responsibilities, there’s always collateral damage

40. Takeaways: What about the roles in marriage bother me? Why? How do I reconcile that with what God clearly teaches in scripture? What about the roles in marriage bother me? Why? How do I reconcile that with what God clearly teaches in scripture?

41. Takeaways: Do I show respect towards my husband? Even when he’s not who he needs to be? Do I show respect towards my husband? Even when he’s not who he needs to be? Am I willing to serve and to trust that God will work in his heart while I serve? Am I willing to serve and to trust that God will work in his heart while I serve?

42. Takeaways: Do I understand the responsibility God places on me in Headship? Do I understand the responsibility God places on me in Headship? Do I sacrifice myself and my desires for the sake of my wife and family? Do I sacrifice myself and my desires for the sake of my wife and family?

43. Takeaways: Am I a spiritual leader for my family? Am I a spiritual leader for my family? Do lean towards domineering? Wimpiness? Will I repent? Do lean towards domineering? Wimpiness? Will I repent?

44. Takeaways: For men and women: what damage have I caused because of covenant compromise? Will I repent and make a change? For men and women: what damage have I caused because of covenant compromise? Will I repent and make a change?Li-Li