1. 1 Keeping Your Kids Safe On-Line Presented by Jason Sackett, LCSW USC Center for Work and Family Life

2. Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006 USC Center for Work and Family Life (213) 821-0800 2 The FBI Tells Kids … Never to give out personal information such as your name, home address, school name, or telephone number in a chat room or on bulletin boards. Also, never send a picture of yourself to someone you chat with on the computer without your parent's permission. Never write to someone who has made you feel uncomfortable or scared. Do not meet someone or have them visit you without the permission of your parents. Tell your parents right away if you read anything on the Internet that makes you feel uncomfortable. Remember that people online may not be who they say they are. Someone who says that "she" is a "12-year-old girl" could really be an older man.

3. Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006 USC Center for Work and Family Life (213) 821-0800 3 Problems On-Line Chat Rooms/ My Space Inappropriate E-mail Text Messages Adult Content Excessive Use/ Computer Addiction Wireless or remote use

4. Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006 USC Center for Work and Family Life (213) 821-0800 4 When Should Parents Be Concerned? Your teen defines a problem Complaints from others You find something Functional decline Negative consequences

5. Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006 USC Center for Work and Family Life (213) 821-0800 5 Techniques to Promote Safety Restriction from use Parental Controls/ Blocks Deterrents Spying Communication/ Relationship Building

6. Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006 USC Center for Work and Family Life (213) 821-0800 6 Restriction Advantage No Risk Disadvantages No Benefit Restriction might not work

7. Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006 USC Center for Work and Family Life (213) 821-0800 7 Parental Controls Advantage can keep out inappropriate web sites Disadvantages do not prevent inappropriate communication via email, text messages can only be applied to your own equipment can foster false sense of security

8. Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006 USC Center for Work and Family Life (213) 821-0800 8 Deterrents Promise of consequences “ If I find out you ’ re using e-mail or the internet inappropriately, I ’ m taking your computer. ” Logs/ Registries “ I have set up a log that will tell me every web site ever visited by this computer. ” No-privacy policy “ I reserve the right to inspect any e-mail or log of web sites visited at any time, and will do this at random times. ”

9. Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006 USC Center for Work and Family Life (213) 821-0800 9 To Spy or Not to Spy? (without prior notice) Advantages  can catch inappropriate behavior and prevent harmful situations Disadvantages creates trust problems  what do you do with the information if you find it? kids can out-smart us

10. Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006 USC Center for Work and Family Life (213) 821-0800 10 Creating a “ communication friendly ” environment Being clear about your own goals  What will you do with the information?  Creating communication to gain information and ultimately punish will not work Limiting preaching and prying  “Why?” questions Re-thinking disciplinary policies  Immunity for testimony  Natural consequences vs. authority

11. Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006 USC Center for Work and Family Life (213) 821-0800 11 Windows of Opportunity Waiting Being alert to complaints, concerns, and passive invitations for discussion Seizing these before the window closes Listening techniques The “ Columbo ” approach Neutrality Reinforcing expression and dialogue

12. Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006 USC Center for Work and Family Life (213) 821-0800 12 Giving Feedback Expressing concerns vs. giving orders Acknowledging your child ’ s control “ I can ’ t make you listen to me. In the end, you are going to decide for yourself what you will do. ” “ Do you want to hear what I have to say about this? ” Focusing on his/her goals Leaving the door open Reinforcing conversation