1. Managing Conflict and Differences OB1 SIT, September 15, 2009, Brattleboro VT

2. 2 Objectives Understand five different styles for handling conflict: the Thomas-Kilmann model. Explore your preferred style of conflict management. Identify advantages and disadvantages of the different styles. Discuss and apply learnings to real life situations.

3. 3 Agenda Introduction Assumptions and conflict definition The Thomas Kilmann model –Presentation and Discussion Application Closing thoughts

4. 4 Incomplete Statements on Conflict When I think of conflict I... When someone disagrees with me about something important I usually... I was raised to deal with conflict by…

5. 5 Assumptions about Conflict Inevitable Result of interdependence and interaction Source of growth, quality, good decision making, creativity When ineffective: Source of pain and destructiveness When effective: Leads to change and empowerment All may not be resolved, but all can be managed

6. Culture Influences… Values and interests at the core of conflicts Communication and conflict management styles: –Loud and animated; hushed and calm… Mediation and resolution styles 6

7. 7 Definition of Conflict Where the concerns of two people or parties appear to be incompatible.

8. 8 Sources of Conflict Identifying Sources of ConflictTips for How to Manage FACTS Inadequate information flow; uncertainties of operation; disregard for contractual obligations. METHODS Alternative ways of reaching common goals; emphasis on different use of resources. ROLES Responsibilities undefined or confused; lack of accountability; inappropriate organizational structure. GOALS Competing priorities over scarce resources; unclear vision or direction. VALUES Differences in motivations and beliefs about work, people, management, and society. Ladder of Resolution Easier Harder Note: The deeper the level of conflict and the longer it has gone on, the more difficult to resolve. Adapted from Rohm and Hass Company. © 2004 Chaos Management, Ltd.

9. 9 Reflection Think of a conflict situation you would have liked to handle better and jot down a few notes to describe it: –Who was involved? –What was the conflict about? –What was the context?

10. 10 Five Conflict Management Styles COMPETINGCOLLABORATING COMPROMISING AVOIDINGACCOMODATING UncooperativeCooperative (Concern for others) Assertive Unassertive (Concern for self)

11. 11 Discussion When does this style work best? What are the benefits of this style? What are the costs of using this style? When does it not work so well?

12. 12 Appropriate and Inappropriate Uses of the Different Styles StyleWorksDoesn’t Work COMPETE Quick results Emergencies Adverse decisions (e.g. discipline, cost-cutting) Company policy (where you’re right) Protecting yourself from being taken advantage of Hurts others Makes them mad/ resentful Sabotage/resistance: problems, won’t work, attendance, overtime Credit - Scott Davis. Adapted from the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument © 2004 Chaos Management, Ltd.  The ability to argue or debate  The ability to influence Skills  Standing your ground  Stating your position clearly  Asserting your opinions and feelings

13. 13 Appropriate and Inappropriate Uses of the Different Styles StyleWorksDoesn’t Work COLLABORATE New ideas, insights, “better solutions” Gets commitment Working harder through feelings in a relationship Learning is important—you know you don’t have the solution Lack of time Trivial problem No interest: see no result/benefit, don’t like each other Credit - Scott Davis. Adapted from the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument © 2004 Chaos Management, Ltd.  Listen  Identify concerns as you are working Skills  Be open  Analyze what is in front of you  Identify interests

14. 14 Appropriate and Inappropriate Uses of the Different Styles StyleWorksDoesn’t Work COMPROMISE Projects (division of work: “I’ll do, you’ll do”) Backup to compete or collaborate When trade-offs are necessary—splits difference Scheduling vacations, work hours, etc. Temporary solutions Expedient solutions under time pressure Trade-off causes problems in productivity, quality, customer satisfaction, timeliness, and cost effectiveness Involves strategic decisions and goals Breach of commitments previously reached Violates company policies, norms, goals Credit - Scott Davis. Adapted from the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument © 2004 Chaos Management, Ltd. Skills  Find middle ground  Make concessions  “Split the difference”

15. 15 Appropriate and Inappropriate Uses of the Different Styles StyleWorksDoesn’t Work AVOID Trivial issues or not real issue Need more time Others can solve it better/it is not my role Getting another opportunity to listen, ask questions, get information Potential damage of confrontation outweighs benefits Message not heard Problem does not go away Can cause stress, looks “bad” Skills  Ability to withdraw  Sense of timing  Ability to leave some things unresolved Credit - Scott Davis. Adapted from the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument © 2004 Chaos Management, Ltd.

16. 16 Appropriate and Inappropriate Uses of the Different Styles StyleWorksDoesn’t Work ACCOMMODATE Deadlines Gets results You’re wrong and you know it Helps relationships/builds “bank” You’re outmatched, losing Not important to you—very important to other Harmony is very important Can’t please everyone Taken advantage of— projects, workload, etc. Potential bad direction, ideas Expectations/roles are misunderstood Skills  Ability to forego desires  Ability to yield and keep peace  Ability to apologize gracefully Credit - Scott Davis. Adapted from the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument © 2004 Chaos Management, Ltd.

17. 17 Key Steps to Effective Management of Conflict Identify and understand root causes of the conflict Recognize the different styles for handling the conflict Explore needs and differences Work toward constructive resolution –Look for interests, not positions –Seek common ground –Invent options for mutual gain

18. 18 Sources of Conflict and Tips to Manage Them Identifying Sources of ConflictTips for How to Manage FACTS Inadequate information flow; uncertainties of operation; disregard for contractual obligations. Don’t debate facts—check them out. METHODS Alternative ways of reaching common goals; emphasis on different use of resources. Evaluate alternatives objectively; agree on criteria for choice. ROLES Responsibilities undefined or confused; lack of accountability; inappropriate organizational structure. Clarify or renegotiate responsibilities and/or structure. GOALS Competing priorities over scarce resources; unclear vision or direction. Define or refer to priorities set in plans or by management. VALUES Differences in motivations and beliefs about work, people, management, and society. Acknowledge value differences; seek common ground. Ladder of Resolution Easier Harder Adapted from Rohm and Hass Company. © 2004 Chaos Management, Ltd.

19. 19 Application Exercise Look back at the conflict situation you identified earlier: Any new insights you can apply? Any learnings or questions to report?

20. 20 Choosing a Style: Additional Thoughts How important is the task and how important is the relationship? Degree of risk involved: –Personal (e.g., status, economic loss, self-esteem) –Organizational (e.g., credibility, cultural norms, legal) Power and other differences. What range of styles are available to you; in this organization? Other?

21. 21 Summary of Skills for Managing Conflict Paraphrase You are saying that … Direct answer Yes/No Confront and support Make differences explicit Empathize with the other Give and ask feedback Transform conflict into a problem or dilemma Ask and “ work ” specifics Can you give me an example? Discuss further Can you expand on what you mean? Ask and tell What do you/I want? What ’ s your/my interest? Invent options for mutual gain; Seek common ground

22. 22 References How to Make Collaboration Work Straus, 2002. Berrett-Koehler Publishers. The Wisdom of Teams Katzenbach and Smith,1999. Harper Collins. No More Teams! Mastering the Dynamics of Creative Collaboration Michel Schrage, 1995. Currency Doubleday. The Little Book of Conflict Transformation John Paul Lederach, 2003. Good Books. Crucial Conversations Patterson, Grenny, McMilan, & Switzler, 2002. McGraw Hill.

23. Thank You Evangelina Holvino, Ed.D. Chaos Management, Ltd. 178 Meetinghouse Lane Brattleboro, VT 05301 holvino@chaosmanagent.com 23