1. The Personal Statement: Strategies for Supporting Students
UC Counselor Conference 2010
The Personal Statement: Strategies for Supporting Students

2. Overview Purpose of statement in UC admissions
Necessary information and skills for a strong personal statement
Understanding the task
Preparing students to write
Providing useful feedback

3. Purpose of the Personal Statement

4. Purpose of the Personal Statement
Part of UC’s comprehensive review process
Opportunity to provide information that supports and augments the review process
Enables applicant to make the best case possible for admission

5. Purpose of the Personal Statement
Adds clarity, depth and meaning to information collected in other parts of the UC application
Completes the application for admission
An admission decision will never be based on the content of a personal statement alone

6. A Message from UC Faculty
While it is acceptable to receive feedback or helpful suggestions, applicants’ personal statements should reflect their own ideas and be written by them alone

7. Understanding the Task

8. The Instructions Three rationale statements and questions (prompts)
Your World
Potential to contribute
Word limits
Two Responses: 1000 word maximum
Recommended minimum of 350 words

9. The Prompts Rationale statement: provides context for the response
Question: provides direction of the response
(Rationale statement available only for Prompt #2

10. Prompt #1
Question:
[Freshman Applicants] Describe the world you come from – for example, your family, community or school – and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

11. Potential to Contribute (#2)
Rationale:
The University welcomes the contributions and experience each student brings to the campus learning community. This question seeks to determine an applicant’s academic or creative interests and potential to contribute to the vitality of the University.

12. Potential to Contribute (#2)
Question:
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

13. Preparing Students to Write

14. Necessary Skills
Think critically: even though students will be writing about themselves, they need to step back and look at their experiences from the outside
Write analytically: writing analytically means answering “why?”
Follow a writing process: brainstorming, drafting, feedback, revising, proofreading

15. Important Strategies Think like an admissions reader
Choose the extended prompt strategically
Know the difference between a short-answer response and an extended response

16. You Can Help Students…
Understand the role of the personal statement in the admissions process
Recognize the relationship between reader and writer
Understand the reading and writing tasks of the personal statement
Use a writing process
Obtain appropriate feedback

17. Before Writing, Students Should…
Prepare a writing timeline
Complete the UC application
Use the “Levels of Questions” strategy for the application
Determine the extended-response question

18. Why ask questions of the application?
Important to think critically about the application’s content
Helps students recognize personal and academic experiences as worthy of reflection and analysis
Connects the issues raised by the application to the responses provided in the personal statement
Helps students fulfill the reader/writer pact

19. The Reader-Writer Relationship
When readers read critically (as admissions readers will do), they are asking questions, making observations and constructing interpretations of the information they are reading.
A writer fulfills the pact with the reader by addressing these questions, observations and interpretations in the personal statement. Students can anticipate many of these questions, observations and interpretations by becoming critical readers of their own completed applications.

20. Levels of Questions Strategy
Answers to L1 questions provide details in paragraphs
Answers to L2 questions are topic sentences of paragraphs
Answers to L3 questions are thesis statements of essays
Level one: What does it say?
Level two: What does it mean?
Level three: Why/how does it matter?

21. From Prompt to Topic to Thesis
Understand the key terms in the rationale statement and question
Students should know their own questions and possible questions readers may raise
Develop a topic — the subject area — that will be discussed in the response
Draft a thesis — a point of view on the topic that addresses “why”

22. Question/Topic/Thesis Example
Our question: How have you taken advantage of the educational opportunities you have had to prepare for college?
Your topic: The role of Pre-College
Academy in academic preparation
Your thesis: Asserts why and how PCA was a significant preparation experience

23. Determine Response Topics
What topic will each response focus on?
One topic per prompt!
Is this topic the most persuasive? Does it answer the most pressing questions related to this prompt?
The prompt with the most questions associated with it should be the extended response.

24. Short-Answer Strategies

25. Readers Want… Responses that get right to the point
Specific, concrete examples and language
Adherence to word restrictions
Responses that complete the application

26. Tips for Short-Answer Reponses
Avoid irrelevant background information
Understand meaning of key words
Ensure that response addresses what the prompt asks for
Make sure each sentence advances the argument
Avoid a collection of facts or examples
Use concrete details and make them clear, rich and meaningful 26
Berkeley Davis Irvine Los Angeles Merced Riverside San Diego San Francisco Santa Barbara Santa Cruz

27. Extended-Response Strategies

28. Readers Want…
Organization and clarity, provided by a persuasive thesis, analytical topic sentences, well-chosen examples
A response that supports and completes — by clarifying and contextualizing — the information in the application

29. Thesis Statements Concession (optional) Assertion Reasons Significance
The “but” to the “yes”
Although…
The argument
This…
The synthesis of supporting points
Because…
The “so what” of the argument; implications
As a result…

30. Sample Thesis — Prompt 2 (Extended)
Although I do not plan to major in veterinary science, my experiences raising and caring for animals have helped me understand how important animals are to human well-being. Because I have seen the result of human disregard for other forms of life, I am better able to appreciate the importance of ethical treatment for all. As a result, I will be able to contribute my knowledge of animal preservation and my skill as an organizer to the campus environment.

31. Writing Process Brainstorm using levels of questions Draft
Get feedback — give readers at least a week to respond
Revise for organization, clarity and meaning
Proofread

32. How to Give Feedback to Students
Request the application and the personal statement, not just the statement
Ask students to provide you with a list of questions they would like you to answer
Comment on ideas and the level of persuasiveness, not grammar
Help students find readers who resemble their target audience

33. Additional Resources for Students
Online UC Personal Statement Tutorial for Students at
Six lessons that guide students through brainstorming, drafting, getting feedback and revising
Activities to help students start early and stay on task
Developed by EAOP admissions preparation specialists