1. How to Calm Your Anger Adapted from When Chicken Soup Isn’t Enough, by Bradley P. Barris (Scroll down to move through the presentation.)

2. Imagine an event where you reacted with anger. ANGER Did the event itself cause your anger?

3. Would 100 different people in the same situation all react with anger? ANGER Imagine an event where you reacted with anger.

4. ANGER Imagine an event where you reacted with anger. If not, it can’t be a cause and effect relationship.

5. ANGER Imagine an event where you reacted with anger. Something else must be occurring between the event and your anger.

6. Event ANGER What did you say to yourself in response to the event?

7. ANGER Event Did you use a rule word, such as should? He / She should / shouldn’t have... !

8. ANGER Event Using rule words is like pouring gasoline on a fire.

9. He / She should / shouldn’t have... ! ANGER Event It increases the intensity of emotion in response to an event.

10. ANGER Event Some other rule words are ought, have to, and must. He / She should / shouldn’t have... !

11. ANGER Event To calm your anger, try replacing your rule words with preference words. He / She should / shouldn’t have... !

12. ANGER For example: I’d rather... I’d prefer... It would be nice... Event

13. ANGER It would be nice if he / she..., but I don’t have control over that. Event

14. ANGER It would be nice if he / she..., but I don’t have control over that. Event Preference words cool your anger...

15. ANGER Event It would be nice if he / she..., but I don’t have control over that....and replace it with irritation... IRRITATION

16. ...which is much more manageable than anger. Event

17. Summary So... The next time you feel angry, Change your rule word to a preference, And replace your anger with IRRITATION.