1. Conflict Management Resolution Strategies Decision Making

2. Some conflicts are with YOURSELF!
What is Conflict
Conflict: a disagreement between people with opposing view points, ideas, or goals.
Conflicts can be an exchange of words
Group confrontations can be ongoing
Conflicts that involve weapons can be serious
Some conflicts are with YOURSELF!

3. What Causes Conflict? 3 major reasons
1. Resources: something usable, such as goods , property, money or time.
Examples??? Couples who fight over finances, which restaurant, study or go mall with mom, fighting over the computer…
2. Values: your beliefs and ideas you consider important
Examples??? Browns fan, daily PE class, politics,
Emotional Needs: the need to belong and feel respected and worthwhile
examples??? Left out, dis-respected, put down, feel it’s unfair didn't make the science Olympiad, sports team etc…

4. Journal 1.What was it about?
Think of a conflict you’ve had recently and briefly describe.
Answer the following questions in your notes.
1.What was it about?
2. What caused it? (Resources, Values, Emotional)
3. Was it resolved? Explain.

5. Managing my Anger/Conflict
If I learn to manage my anger then…
If I don’t and conflicts get out of hand then…
Release frustrations of life.
Calls Attention to Problems
Helps us understand self and other’s values
Increases motivation to take action
Brings about change
Healthier relationships
Anger can build and boil over
Can lead to violence
Irrational thinking
Not pleasant to be around
Lead to depression (esp.boys)

6. $1,000.00 Activity #1 You were just presented with a check for:
List all the things you would do with the money.

7. What you choose to do with your time also has everything to do with what you value.
Hypocrite-
One who subscribes to one set of values, and does another.
Immaturity- one who has not defined their values, flighty, drifters, uncertain
Maturity-clear values, life of purpose, meaning and direction

8. Positive Ways to Manage Anger
Calm. It. Down.
Brainstorm
Ask Questions; to learn the other person’s point of view
Attack the Problem- not the person!
Explain how you feel; Let each person tell their side
Talk to a trusted adult

9. Effective Conflict Management or Resolution Strategies T.A.L.K.
Take a time out
       to calm down and think through my anger.
  Allow each person to tell his or her side
       then paraphrase the other persons position.
Let each person ask questions
       in order to view the issue from the others point of view.
  Keep brainstorming solutions
       either to find the middle ground or creative solution

10. Decision-making skills
1. Identify the Problem
(Identify, ask yourself questions, what choices do you need to make and who else if anyone is involved)
What are the choices
(List everything, ask for suggestions and make sure they are safe.)
Gather Information- what’s helpful to know before making a decision
Consider outcomes and values
(honesty, respect and trust) Consequences of each options Healthful Ethical Legal and Parent approval)
Make a decision and act.
(Ready to take action, choose a course that supports your values, the impact of all choices on self and others and ask a trusted adult if unsure.)
Evaluate your decision
(Reach expectations, how did it affect others, how you feel about yourself and what could you do differently)

11. Communication Skills Communication:
The exchange of thoughts, feelings, beliefs and wants between two or more people.
Just talking to someone does not guarantee good communication the listener may be daydreaming, speaker too fast, It’s a skill to be learned and practiced

12. How you say something as important as WHAT you say.
Communication Skills
Non Verbal
(without words)
How you say something as important as WHAT you say.
Tone of Voice
Facial expressions
Body Language
posture
Gestures
TV Muteed figure it out; people talking with hands moving may reveal clues; Tone: you may sound angry w/o realizing it. Then you may risk sending a MIXED MESSAGE

13. Communication Skills
Sometimes verbal and non verbal messages can send two different messages. For that reason, be aware of the non verbal messages you send=
MIXED MESSAGE:
occurs when your words say one thing but your body language says another.
(i.e. “sorry” while grinning)
What does that tell the other person? Other examples??????

14. “You can’t do anything right!”
Communication Skills
You Messages: (blame /aggressive)
“You can’t do anything right!”
I Messages- A statement that presents a situation from the speaker’s personal feelings/viewpoint:
“I’m mad because I wanted to work on the project together”

15. Effective Verbal Communication:
Communication Skills
Effective Verbal Communication:
Speaking Skills Listening Skills
Be clear Active Listening
Use “I messages” Pay attention
Stay Calm Use correct BL
Stick to the point THINK first
Choose the right time/place Ask open Questions
Be aware of tone and B Language
Calm- louder not better, unheard not settled. Stick to the point-think through1st. Time place= no hurries or busy find quiet little interuption. BL=eye contact show sincere

16. Sender:
Round 1
-Draw a picture on the Receivers back (ex. House , tree) Something recognizable.
-Phone #
- Pattern on how to get to some place in the classroom.

17. Receiver
Write down on a piece of paper what you feel your partner is writing on your back.

18. Communication Skills: PRACTICE:
Round #2
Sender – Whispers
-drawing
-phone #
-instructions on how to get to a place in the classroom (ex. Under, over, crawling)
Receiver- follows directions.

19. Communication Skills Round #3 Sender – Demonstrates
Receiver- Follows Directions.
Reverse roles

20. Listening
Active Listening is hearing, thinking about and responding to the other person’s message.
More Listening Tips!
Concentrate on what the other person is saying. Don’t be thinking about what you are going to say next or interrupt.
Nod your head to show you are listening- give feed back”(then what happened?”
Let the person finish speaking!
Stay calm- even if you’re hearing something you don’t like
Keep an open mind; Listen even if you disagree accept that others won’t always think the same way you do.
TV distraction, frustrating only means something if the person actually receives it.

21. Peer Pressure & Refusal Skills
pushed toward making a certain choice.
  A Peer
is someone in your own age group.
  Peer Pressure
someone your own age, is pushing you toward making a certain choice

22. Something said to you directly
Peer Pressure
Spoken:
Something said to you directly
Unspoken:
When you feel you are supposed to do something
Spoken vs. Unspoken

23. Refusal and Negotiation Skills
S.T.O.P.
Say no in a firm voice
Tell why not
Offer other ideas
Promptly leave

24. A clear message depends on the way you communicate
Aggressive:
Overly forceful, pushy, hostile
Passive
Giving up, giving in, backing down, easy to persuade.
Assertive
Confidence and clearly stating your intentions

25. Non Verbal
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Verbal
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