1. HOW TO SURVIVE ON BOARD YOUR GUIDE TO SURVIVING THE HIGH SEAS

2. HOW TO SURVIVE ON BOARD HOW TO SURVIVE THE WARDS

3. The Good News... Pirate skills are medical student skills too... YOU WILL SURVIVE THE WARDS!!

4. The Bad News... You can’t dress as a pirate

5. Treasure Maps X MARKS THE SPOT Right place at the right time ‘Home’ ward Accident and Emergency Medical Admissions/Assessment Unit (MAU) Surgical Admissions/Assessment Unit (SAU)

6. You are the cabin boy Patients and their families Consultants Nurses Registrars More junior doctors Other staff (ward clerks, health professionals) Check with nurses before seeing patients

7. Know your crew Firm Year group Clinical school staff

8. Dr Jonathan Silverman Long John Silver

9. Be Prepared Non-pirate clothing (bare below the elbow) ID Stethoscope Pens Notebook Oxford Handbook of Clinical Medicine Other Tendon Hammer Pen torch

10. Pirate-Patient Patter Your introduction Practise! Clinical and Communication Skills

11. Bravery You BELONG on the wards Be confident and self assured Don’t be put off by set- backs

12. Perseverance You don’t find the treasure on your first voyage And as obvious as it may sound, you will not be suturing and saving people from day one Some days are slow Maximise breaks Use time efficiently

13. Politeness Do not ‘arrrrrr’, or address people as ‘me hearties’ on the wards Give people an incentive to help you Don’t eat all the chocolates!

14. All hands on deck Clerk and examine lots of patients ‘First telling’ ‘Home’ ward Clinics A&E MAU and SAU (particularly in DGHs) Practice forming differential diagnoses Practice clinical skills –be brave! Follow patients to procedures

15. Teaching Formal teaching: lectures, seminars, ward based, clinical supervisions Informal: FYs, registrars, consultants, specialist nurses, and your lovely stage 3s Broad and simple Overviews

16. Ask stupid questions It’s probably not stupid It’s always better to know than not to know

17. Ship’s Watch Your timetable Protected patient time Hospital at different times of day Know when to go home

18. Everyone needs a parrot Have someone to share experiences with Personal perspective Peers Senior people DOS College tutor Supervisor Firm consultant

19. Grog Fests Clinical school Doctor’s mess and Firm Parties And if grog and sea shanties aren’t your cup of tea... Sports teams Pantomime Choir Other societies

20. Feel like you’re sinking? Don’t panic! Overview of the systems Examining History taking

21. Non-Piratey Summary Familiarity with people and places Preparation Bravery Perseverance Politeness Get stuck in Don’t panic.... Have fun!

22. If we’ve taught you nothing else... At least you’ll know how to be a good pirate!

23. Questions?