1. Assertiveness in the Workplace
February 2011 1

2. Welcome and Introduction2

3. Our Days Agenda 08h30 – 09h00 Registration and Tea 09h00 – 10h30
Speaker Assertiveness in the Workplace
10h30 – 10h50
Tea Break
10h50 – 12h30
Assertiveness in the Workplace Continued
12h30 – 13h15
Lunch
13h15 – 14h30
14h30 – 14h50
14h50 – 16h00
16h00
Close 3

4. Topic Agenda Understanding assertiveness 3 How assertive am I? 4
Applying assertiveness in the workplace 6
Assertiveness and dealing with aggressive
individuals 4

5. Understanding Assertiveness
Communication
Communication is the transfer of information, whether aggressively, passively or assertively by posture, words, facial expressions, tone or gestures, from one source to another, and in such a way that an understanding, whether intended or not, takes place. 5

6. Understanding Assertiveness
In his studies, Albert Mehrabian, the Professor Emeritus of Psychology at UCLA, identified that there are essentially 3 elements to communication, words, tone and body language.
Words
Tone
Body Language 6

7. Understanding Assertiveness
In order for effective communication to take place it is important that the three elements are in congruence with one another. If people hear the words but see that our body language does not line up with what we are saying, they will be less likely to accept that what are saying is true.
Mehrabian found that when the three elements were incongruent the listener was more likely to trust the predominate one. 7

8. Understanding Assertiveness8

9. Understanding Assertiveness9

10. Understanding Assertiveness10

11. Understanding Assertiveness11

12. Understanding Assertiveness
Now that we have identified the three means of communication, let us look at the three broad categories of communicators
Aggressive
Assertive
Passive 12

13. Understanding Assertiveness
AGGRESSIVE
Defining points
Standing up for what you believe in
Showing a lack of concern for what others believe in
Showing a lack of concern for the feelings and opinions of others.
Placing your needs and wants ahead of others 13

14. Understanding Assertiveness
AGGRESSIVE
Typical statements of an aggressor
“I will only say this once”
“If I don’t do it, nobody will”
“The only way to get things done properly is for me to do it”
“I don’t really care what you think”
“No, you will listen to me” 14

15. Understanding Assertiveness
PASSIVE
Defining points
Failing to stand up for what you believe in
Allowing others to disregard what you think or believe
Allowing others to disregard your feelings and opinions
Placing the needs and wants of others ahead of your own 15

16. Understanding Assertiveness
PASSIVE
Typical statements of a passive
“No its ok, lets do it your way”
“Whatever you think”
“I’m not very good at this”
“If its going to cause problems, rather let me do it”
“I don’t mind” 16

17. Understanding Assertiveness
Defining Points
Honest – Express yourself as you feel without lying to others as this is ultimately lying to yourself
Considerate – Consider the situation you are in, the feelings and attitudes of others and express yourself appropriately within that context
Direct – Be direct in your conversation so as to avoid the pitfalls of misunderstanding. Be clear, concise and deliberate with each statement 17

18. Understanding Assertiveness
Effective assertive communicators understand….
“A win/win scenario is always possible regardless of the behaviour style adopted by the other person.”
“Other people also have the right to be assertive in their behaviour style.” 18

19. Understanding Assertiveness
Effective assertive communicators understand….
“You are not in a competition to change the other persons mind. They will change their mind only when they choose to change it.”
“Other people are allowed to passionately believe something that is completely different to what you believe.” 19

20. Understanding Assertiveness
Effective assertive communicators understand….
“You are not always right.”
“Any relationship requires commitment from both parties.” 20

21. Understanding Assertiveness
Effective assertive communicators understand….
“Proactive communication is always better than reactive communication.”
“Assertiveness in the Workplace is a choice that I choose to make.” 21

22. Understanding Assertiveness
7 Simple techniques for more effective listening
Maintain eye contact
Respond appropriately with word or nod
Refrain from interrupting
Take notes if possible
Allow the speaker to finish before evaluating the message
Clarify main points with questions
Keep emotions under control 22

23. Understanding Assertiveness
Why ask questions?
It builds understanding
Promotes a higher level of thinking
A person’s ability to understand & remember material is enhanced
Questions encourage others to speak
To collect information
Able to find possible solutions
Builds trust 23

24. Understanding Assertiveness
Benefits of open-ended questions:
Invites opinions, thoughts and feelings
Encourages participation
Establishes rapport
Stimulates discussion
Maintains balance between speakers 24

25. Topic Agenda Understanding assertiveness 3 How assertive am I? 4
Applying assertiveness in the workplace 6
Assertiveness and dealing with aggressive
individuals 25

26. How Assertive am I? What can you do to be more Assertive?
1. Assertiveness is often linked to self image and self belief. Examine yourself first and know what your value system is. In knowing clearly who you are and understanding your rights, you will be able to communicate more directly and with confidence and self control. 26

27. How Assertive am I? What can you do to be more Assertive?
2. Value the rights of others and be respectful of them. Understand that you may not always be right so open your mind to rational arguments.
3. Ask for help from peers who you know will be honest with you. 27

28. How Assertive am I? What can you do to be more Assertive?
4. Identify the body language characteristics that you have that limit your effectiveness. These could take the form of giggling, nodding your head too much, playing with your hands or always averting the gaze of the person you are talking to. 28

29. How Assertive am I? What can you do to be more Assertive?
5. Identify the tone characteristics you use that limit your effectiveness. A singing voice or a voice with a sarcastic undertone should be replaced by a level, well modulated tone.
6. Learn how to avoid being interrupted while you are talking by using a polite yet firm phrase. An example of this would be, “hang on, I haven’t finished” 29

30. How Assertive am I? What can you do to be more Assertive?
7. Don’t start interactions with the word sorry. Also avoid apologising for what you are about to say. Both will immediately reduce the assertiveness factor.
8. Improve your listening skills and learn to ask effective open questions which will not only provide you with clearer information but improve your overall confidence with regard to the issue at hand. 30

31. How Assertive am I? What can you do to be more Assertive?
9. Don’t be afraid to say no. If necessary give an explanation but don’t apologise through the entire explanation. This will be perceived as passivity and could be used against you to ultimately get you to say yes.
10.Use “I” not “you” statements. People cannot argue with how a situation makes you feel but they will argue with you if you tell them how it makes them feel, even if you are right! 31

32. How Assertive am I? What can you do to be more Assertive?
11.Practise with friends and family. Practise in front of the mirror by making assertive statements, maintaining direct eye contact, standing relaxed and upright and be very aware of your tone and body language. Choose less anxious situations at first until you build up your confidence. 32

33. Topic Agenda Understanding assertiveness 3 How assertive am I? 4
Applying assertiveness in the workplace 6
Assertiveness and dealing with aggressive
individuals 33

34. Applying Assertiveness in the Workplace
Building Trust
Be honest
Be open minded
Be credible
Be sincere
Be timeous with information
Be discreet
Be transparent
Be open
Be humble 34

35. Get personally involved
Applying Assertiveness in the Workplace
Employer
Employee
Get personally involved
Involve the whole team and listen to others ideas and concerns. Allowing them to participate in the process will ensure their loyalty and commitment to the process.
Share ideas and concerns remembering to always have an alternate idea if you believe something wont work. Participate fully and with enthusiasm in the process
Ask for volunteers to assist with the process, you may be surprised as to who takes up the challenge. Build a team to assist with the process.
Volunteer to assist with the process and be prepared to work in and work with a team.
Be clear and honest about what needs to change and exactly how that process will take place. Plan well and keep all informed as to the progress.
Listen carefully as to the changes and ask questions to avoid any confusion.
Be positive and encourage others to improve. Be direct and clear as to why change is needed and exactly what that change will be.
Be positive and supportive to those in charge and be an agent for change.
Keep people informed with regular meetings. If you see that negativity is creeping in address it immediately by giving them a progress report.
Attend all meetings and be positive. Take notes and address your peers when they speak negatively about the changes.
Change Management 35

36. Applying Assertiveness in the Workplace
Dealing with Different Cultures
In order to effectively communicate with another culture it is helpful
if you understand their approach to:
Authority – what is their approach to dealing with authority. Is it very hierarchical or very informal.
Gender – how do they respond to members of the opposite gender in work relationships. 36

37. Applying Assertiveness in the Workplace
Time – are they time conscious or is the quality of the task more important.
Detail – is great attention to detail important to them or are they more comfortable working in a creative environment.
Individualism – do they believe in individualism or are the more collective in their approach to work.
Age – how do they treat elders and how would they
respond to instruction from a younger person. 37

38. Topic Agenda Understanding assertiveness 3 How assertive am I? 4
Applying assertiveness in the workplace 6
Assertiveness and dealing with aggressive
individuals 38

39. Assertiveness and Dealing with Aggressive Individuals
Dealing with aggressive individuals or bullies in the workplace can
be a very intimidating. The reality is that that is exactly what an
aggressor or bully wants you to feel. If you are intimidated and
respond passively you reinforce the behaviour because as the bully
gets their own way their behaviour is being rewarded which leads
to it persisting. 39

40. Assertiveness and Dealing with Aggressive Individuals
Be prepared
Don’t be dominated
Don’t get offended – manage your emotions
Ask clarifying questions
Listen carefully
Explain your action plan clearly 40

41. Skills Practice 41

42. Thank You Fasset Call Centre 086 101 0001 www.fasset.org.za42