1. Three types of Behaviour Non-assertive Aggressive Assertive

2. Non-Assertive Behaviour Behaviour that involves: failing to stand up for your rights or doing so in such a way that people can disregard them expressing your needs, wants, opinions, feeling or beliefs in apologetic, diffident of self-effacing ways failing to express honestly your needs, wants, opinions, feelings or beliefs.

3. Aggressive Behaviour Behaviour that involves: Standing up for your own rights, but doing so in such a way that you violate the rights of others Ignoring or dismissing the needs, wants, opinions, feelings or beliefs of others Expressing your own needs, wants etc. inappropriately

4. Assertive Behaviour Behaviour that involves: Standing up for your own rights without violating the rights of others. Expressing your needs, wants, opinions, feelings and beliefs in a direct, honest and appropriate way.

5. The Effects of Non-Assertive Behaviour on You A growing loss of Self Esteem Increase in Anger, Hurt, Self Pity More Internal Tensions (e.g. nervous energy) and/or increasing inabilitymore health to act assertivelyproblems

6. The Effects of Non-Assertive Behaviour on Others Others feel sorry for you They feel guilty/indifferent (about taking advantage) They feel irritation They cease to respect you They restrict their contact with you

7. The Effects of Aggression on You Aggression Guilt or shameBlaming others Constant state of alert Apologising profusely or Drained of energy being over helpful Hate and mistrust against large groups of people Isolation

8. The Effects of Aggression on Others Others may admire you orThey may feel anger, hurt or humiliation. They retaliate or go underground. They take fewer risks They become resigned or they leave

9. The Effects of Assertion You have made clear what your needs, feelings, opinions are. The other person is clear where you stand. You can be clear where the other person stands. Problems can be resolved and decisions made openly

10. Assertive Communication Decide what you want to say Say it clearly Support what you say by the way that you say it Do not get side-tracked Listen Aim for “Win Win”

11. In Order to Buy Time We must Realise that: We do not have to respond immediately and positively to request demands or criticism. And We can refuse to be rushed into a quick or automatic response to someone else’s apparent crisis or emergency.