1. Saturday, 11:45am-12:30pm Presented by Mrs. Carma R Kuhn, Counselor, MEd, NCC, LMHC Dr. Chuck L 0 rbeer, PhD, LCSW Hi-Def Conflict Resolution with Jesus the Prince of Peace

2. What’s our focus? It becomes our reality The life of Jesus in wide screen Technicolor!

3. Isaiah 9:6 For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. NIV Jesus the Prince of Peace

4. Practicing Forgiveness Matthew 6:12 Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. Roman 3:23 All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. I John 1:8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. NIV

5. Perception is clear when we see Jesus

6. Perception is everything What do we see as we view conflicts?

7. When we are in a conflict, we don’t see clearly

8. Our perception of conflict cannot always be trusted The parts of a conflict can distort our perception of the whole. God’s word has the final say!

11. You can use a ruler to check it out. The diagonal patterns created by the tiny squares distort the perception of the pictures. The checkerboard is exactly the same on both slides, it only gives the optical illusion that it is different when the little squares are put on it. No curved lines in these figures

12. The Checkerboard Explained The checkerboard represents Jesus. The little squares represent all life's conflicts, and resulting hurts & pains. This makes the board look distorted when it really isn't. Our perspective gets distorted by all life's conflicts. Our emotions and reactions to conflicts distort our reality, and makes resolving conflicts difficult. Jesus is always the same, only our perception changes!

13. Portraits of the Smith house! It’s just one nugget!

14. I hate this conflict! Why does everyone tell me I am a couch potato? I just need another cold one. Energy drink or Beer? Portraits of Mr. & Mrs. Smith Honey, I thought you already had lunch? Why don’t you come for a walk with me?

15. Matthew 17 The Transfiguration 1 After six days Jesus took with him Peter, James and John the brother of James, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. 2 There he was transfigured before them. His face shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as the light. 3 Just then there appeared before them Moses and Elijah, talking with Jesus. …. 6 When the disciples heard this, they fell facedown to the ground, terrified. 7 But Jesus came and touched them. “Get up,” he said. “Don’t be afraid.” 8 When they looked up, they saw no one except Jesus. NIV They saw no one except Jesus

16. 1.Identify the problem that is causing the conflict. 2.Identify the feelings that are associated with the conflict. 3. Identify the impact of the problem causing the conflict. 4. Decide whether to resolve the conflict or let it go. CONFLICT RESOLUTION MODEL

17. 5. Work for resolution of the conflict. Set a time to address the conflict. Describe how you perceive the conflict. Express your feelings about the conflict. Describe the impact of the conflict. Discuss how it can be resolved. (Is a compromise needed?)

18. “People are not disturbed by things, but by the views which they take of them.” Epictetus, 1st century Conflict Resolution Model in Action

20. 1. Good communication- Conflicts have beginnings in misunderstandings and assumptions...be a good listener. Proverbs 18:13 2. Focusing on understanding rather being understood, clarifying instead of making assumptions, and stating requests in clear specific ways (not hinting and not demanding). Philippians 2:3-4 3. Be considerate of differences between groups: genders, age, races…. Gal. 3:28 “all one in Christ Jesus.” "Between stimulus and response there is a space. And in that space is our power to choose. And in that choice lies our growth and our freedom.“ Viktor Frankl Practical points:

21. What’s our focus? It becomes our reality! Do we resolve conflicts, and focus on Jesus and solutions? Isaiah 9:6 Matthew 17:8