2. THE TERMINATION OF RELATIONSHIPS

3. RELATIONSHIP DISSOLUTION: HOW IT HAPPENS u PASSING AWAY u SUDDEN DEATH

4. PHASES OF RELATIONSHIP DISSOLUTION u INTRA-PSYCHIC PHASE u DYADIC PHASE u SOCIAL PHASE u GRAVE-DRESSING PHASE

5. COMMUNICATING DURING RELATIONSHIP DISSOLUTION u WHO INITIATES IT? u DISTANCING & DISASSOCIATING u “STRATEGIES”

6. CAUSES OF RELATIONSHIP DISSOLUTION u BREAKDOWN IN COMMUNICATION u LOSS OF SHARED GOALS/INTERESTS u DESIRE FOR INDEPENDENCE u SEXUAL AND/OR INTIMACY PROBLEMS u ROLE STRAIN u MONEY u CHILDREN u INFIDELITY/LOYALTY ISSUES u ALCOHOL/DRUG ABUSE

7. DIVORCE

8. DIVORCE FACTS u APPROXIMATELY 50% OF BOTH FIRST AND SECOND MARRIAGES END IN DIVORCE u USUALLY AT LEAST ONE CHILD IS INVOLVED u USUALLY IT IS A HIGH STRESS PROCESS FOR ALL CONCERNED

9. COMMON COMMUNICATION PATTERNS DURING DIVORCE u RECIPROCITY OF “BAD” (OFTEN PETTY) ACTS u POWER PLAYS: “I WIN, YOU LOSE” u COMMUNICATION WITH CHILDREN: –Arguing in front of them –Explaining about “Daddy & Mommy” –Not talking to them about what’s happening

10. u PRIMARY CONCERNS/TOPICS FOCUS ON: –Division of resources –Future relationships –Visitation rights & custody (if children &/or pets involved) u CONSTRUCTIVE PATTERNS OF COMMUNICATION ARE POSSIBLE AND SOME COUPLES MANAGE QUITE WELL. UNFORTUNATELY, THIS IS NOT THE NORM.

11. JEALOUSY

12. u WHAT IS JEALOUSY? –A Learned Reaction To A Loss Or Threat Of Loss –Can Be Real or Imagined u WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO BE JEALOUS? –Insecure People –People Who Have a High Dependency On The Relationship –People Who Strongly Support A Value System Involving Possessiveness of Private Property & Total Togetherness in Relationships

13. u WHAT ARE WE JEALOUS ABOUT? –Time; Persons; Situations/Opporunities u IS JEALOUSY ALWAYS BAD? –Mild Forms of Jealousy Can Show Concern & Caring for the Relationship –Too Often It Involves Unhealthy Responses Such as Planning Revenge; Sinking into Depression; Wallowing in Self-Pity; etc.

14. u COPING WITH JEALOUSY –Communicate in Ways To Develop Self- Esteem/Self-Confidence For Yourself & Your Partner –Talk To Your Partner About Expectations, Assumptions, & Feelings Related to Behaviors That May Be Associated With Jealousy

15. GENDER & JEALOUSY u MALES –Becoming Jealous: Focus on Lowered Self- Esteem Due To Negative Judgment By Partner –Ways of Coping: Get Drunk; Get Aggressive; Feel “Turned On” By Jealous Situation; Get Angry With Self; Engage in Rivalrous Behavior With “Other” Man; Make Effort To Secure Another Relationship

16. –Inducing Jealousy: Less Likely Than Females –Motives: Men Likely To Feel Partner’s Interest In Another Romantic Partner Motivated By Desire for More Committed Relationship, Sexual Attraction, &/or Relationship Dissatisfaction

17. u FEMALES –Becoming Jealous: Focus On Difficulty in Developing Another Relationship If This One Should End –Ways of Coping: Cry; Try To Make Selves More Attractive To Partner; Pretend Not To Care; Withdraw From Other Relationship Possibilities

18. –Inducing Jealousy: More Likely Than Males –Motives: Women Likely to Feel Partner’s Interest In Another Romantic Partner Is Motivated by Desire For More Sexual Variety; Nonsexual Attractions; &/or Relationship Dissatisfaction

19. INFIDELITY

20. TYPES OF INFIDELITY u “ACCIDENTAL” AFFAIRS u ROMANTIC AFFAIRS u MARITAL ARRANGEMENTS u PHILANDERING –Men: Worship Masculinity, Not Intimacy –Women: Angry at men; seek control through sex

21. MYTHS ABOUT INFIDELITY u “EVERYBODY DOES IT” u “MY AFFAIR IS SAVING MY MARRIAGE” –or “SINCE MY PARTNER DOESN’T KNOW, IT DOESN’T AFFECT OUR RELATIONSHIP” u “IF MY PARTNER WASN’T THE WAY HE/SHE IS, I WOULDN’T HAVE AN AFFAIR” u AFTER AN AFFAIR, DIVORCE IS INEVITABLE