1. Inner Critic 1.Internal voice that judges us as inadequate.
2. Finds fault with anything regarding ourselves and others
Self defeating comments- I can’t do math, I am stupid, Why did I do that?

2. Positive intentions of self judgement
When we criticize ourselves and others, we hope to eliminate our flaws and win the approval of others.
Makes us feel more worthy
Sometimes the positive outcome enables us to make the change, but we are miserable in the process.
Comments that others have made about us in the past
Affects the choices we make today.

3. Inner Defender
Judges others-What an ugly and boring teacher—Financial aid really messed me up. I hate my roommate.
Finds fault with everything- blaming, complaining, accusing, criticizing, and condemning others.
Blame others or circumstances.
too much or not enough time, bad luck, government, lack of money, etc
Stay in class and try to get a passing grade instead of dropping and feeling like you have done the right thing. The easy way out---It’s not my fault-that teacher is awful

4. Inner Critic or Defender
If we listen to either of these then we are not taking the necessary action to solve the problem or issue at hand.
Sabotaging creating a better future.

5. Inner Guide
Make the best of any situation. No judgment will make it better, only worse.
Ask the question-Am I on course or am I off course? How do I get back on course or how do I stay on course?
Makes us aware of the world around us, aware of other people, and aware of ourselves.

6. The voice we choose to occupy our thoughts determines our choices, and our choices, determine the outcomes and experiences of our lives.

7. Language of Responsibility
Moves from stagnation to action
Reclaim control from judgmental, self-sabotaging thoughts from Inner Critic and Defender
Accept Ownership and need of an Action Plan
Improve the situation, create outcomes and experiences that reflect ownership.
Plan and take positive actions to improve their lives and circumstances.
Energize themselves and others around them in positive ways through language and actions

8. Wise Decisions
Your future is directly lined up behind the choices that you make today.
Explain this statement
How can you improve the quality of the decisions you make?
Use the Wise Choice Process (p. 35)

9. Wise Choice Process 6 step plan
Present Situation
What would I like my situation to be?
Do I have a choice?
What are my possible choices?
What is the likely outcome of EACH possible choice?
Which choices will I commit to doing?

10. 1. What’s my present situation?
What is it that exists? NOT WHO IS TO BLAME
Lose the Inner Critic and Defender while paying attention only to the Inner Guide
Consider the objective facts and how you feel about them

11. 2.How would I like my situation to be?
Can’t change the past, but how what will your ideal future look like?

12. 3. Do I have a choice here?
You always have a choice, but none of them may be what you would like or feel that you deserve.
Yes options are available to you no matter what the circumstance.
Remember the fork in the road of The Road Less Traveled . Which path will you choose-victim or creator?

13. 4. What are my possible choices?
Create a list of choices knowing that you are not obligated to choose any of them.
Do not use judgment when compiling your list- This is a brainstorming activity so you just write what ever comes to your mind
Which ones are possible? Be creative and think outside of the box.

14. 5. What is the likely outcome of each of the possible choices?
Write out what you think the most likely outcome will be.
If you do not know the outcome, ask someone who does for assistance.

15. 6. Which choices will I commit to?
Choose the choices with the most favorable outcome.
Commit to acting on them.

16. Bottom line on choices
Choices truly reveal what we believe and value, as opposed to what we say that we believe and value.
Victims- Wait for others, make choices that will take them off course, act on immediate pleasure,make choices that sacrifice their goals and dreams.
Creators- Plan and craft their lives as they want it to turn out. They overcome obstacles, take positive risks to advance their goals, sacrifice immediate pleasure to stay on course.

17. Affirmation You know that you can change your life for the better.
Insist on being a creator and do not fall subject to being a victim.

18. Personal Responsibility
Ownership
By our choices, we are the primary creators of the outcomes and experiences of our lives.
Be sure that you thoroughly explore career choices that meet your talents and interests. Take in to account the money and amount of education needed.
Be sure to continue to improve yourself through additional classes, seminars, workshops, continuing education, etc.

19. Stinkin’ Thinkin’ (self esteem)
A + B = C
A= activating event(s)
B= belief(s)
C= consequence(s)
Not based on reality but from irrational thoughts from Inner Critic and Defender

20. How to raise self esteem
Be alert when things go wrong so that you do not begin to blame others and become a victim.
Separate from the Inner Critic and Defender and pay close attention to your Inner Guide by disputing your irrational beliefs.
Offer evidence that your judgments are incorrect
Offer positive explanation of the problem
Question the importance of the problem
If you find that your judgments are true, instead of continuing to criticize yourself or others, make an action plan to improve the situation.
Tell yourself to STOP