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Published bySydney Ball Modified over 9 years ago
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March and April Warm UPs More sentences to correct…
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Fossum English 10/12
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Warm Up 52 March 22/23 carl waisted his 1 st year at college by not studying enough and spending to much time at parties
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REVISED Carlos wasted his first year at college by studying too little and partying too much.
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WU # 53 March 26/27 the reason they were so eager to sell tickets is because their trying to re-furbish the old gymnasium
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Revised They were so eager to sell tickets because they're trying to refurbish the old gymnasium.
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WU#55 March 28/29 there is a desire on the part of many of us to maintain a Spring Recess for the purpose of getting away from the demands of our Studies
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Much Better We want a spring recess so we can get away from our studies. OR We want a spring recess to escape our studies.
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WU #56 April 10/11 by changing the oil every three thousand miles the car was kept in excellent condition
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Revised for dangling modifier Changing the oil every 3,000 miles, we kept the car in excellent condition.
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WU #57 April 12/13 he was really late to his english class due to the fact that he had to finish his math test
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Revising for “bloat” He was late for English because he had to finish his math test.
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No one on this bus seems to know ______ way around this part of New York City.
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Jefferson's thoughts that displayed his new support for the Constitution were documented in one very unique letter to his friend James Madison. Revision: Jefferson documented his new support of the Constitution in a unique letter to his friend, James Madison.
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Writers should spend a great deal of time thinking about their arguments to make sure they are not superficial. Revision: Writers should spend a great deal of time thinking about their arguments to make sure that those arguments are not superficial.
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After reading the original study, the article remains unconvincing. (The article did not read the study; a person did.) Revision: After reading the original study, I remain unconvinced. 1
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Three reasons why steel companies keep losing money are that their plants are inefficient, high labor costs, and foreign competition is increasing. Revision: Three reasons why steel companies keep losing money are inefficient plants, high labor costs, and increasing foreign competition.
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Most important may be the bear's body temperature, it remains relatively constant compared to that of true hibernators
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Most important may be the bear's body temperature, which remains relatively constant compared to that of true hibernators
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