1. Communication Skills Seminar Boğazıçı University April 22, 2004 Tom Atkinson

2. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Seminar Agenda Thursday, April 22:Listening Skills Thursday, May 6:Writing Skills Thursday, May 13:Presentation Skills: Preparation Thursday, May 27?Presentation Skills: Presenting

3. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Communication Skills Overview Effective communication skills are a critical element in your career and personal lives. We all must use a variety of communication techniques to both understand and be understood.

4. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Most common ways to communicate Speaking Visual Images Writing Body Language

5. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Communication Goals Source: CGAP Direct

6. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Critical success factor for life The majority of your perceived ability comes from how you communicate 70% How you communicate it 30% What you know Source: CGAP Direct

7. Listening Skills Boğazıçı University April 22, 2004 Tom Atkinson

8. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Agenda 1. Motivation 2. How to Listen 3. Paraphrasing, Summarizing and Questioning

9. Part 1 Motivation

10. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Session Objectives Be able to:  Describe reasons that communication fails  List strategies to improve communication  Paraphrase and summarize conversations  Use appropriate questioning techniques

11. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Listening and Speaking are used a lot…

12. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson … But not taught enough Amount taught

13. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Listening is needed everywhere… Listening skills form the basis of:  Continued learning  Teamwork skills  Management skills  Negotiation skills  Emotional intelligence

14. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson … But not practiced effectively 70% of all communication is  Misunderstood  Misinterpreted  Rejected  Distorted  Not heard Source: CGAP Direct

15. Part 2 How to Listen

16. “Harry always was a poor listener.”

17. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson What if communication were not possible?

18. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Frustration and Chaos!

19. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Both children want the orange

20. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson But without good listening, neither gets what they want…

21. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Communication SENDERRECEIVER Feedback receiver sender Communication is the process of sending and receiving information among people… Source: CGAP Direct

22. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Messages not delivered due to “distortion” Sender Receiver Feedback Distortion

23. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson What causes distortion? Speaker  Language  Wordiness  Semantics  Emotions  Inflections Listener  Perceptions  Preconceived notions/expectations  Physical hearing problem  Speed of thought  Personal interests  Emotions  Attention span  No active listening!

24. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson What do you think about? I have something really important to tell you Maybe I should get a haircut

25. 30% of you aren’t paying attention right now!

26. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Clues that you are not listening Are you simply waiting for your turn to talk? Are you thinking about your reply before the other person has finished talking?

27. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Listening and speaking require energy Listening takes...  concentration and energy  curiosity and open-mindedness  analysis and understanding Speaking requires...  sharp focus  logical thinking  clear phrasing  crisp delivery

28. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson How to be an active listener Set the stage  Choose an appropriate physical environment  Remove distractions  Be open and accessible  Maintain relaxed, open posture that shows concentration Ensure mutual understanding  Reflect feelings  Offer acknowledgements (say “uh-huh”)  Paraphrase main ideas  Interrupt to clarify  Confirm next steps

29. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson How to be an active listener Understand body language  Observe position and posturing  Make eye contact  Consider expression and gestures Suspend judgment  Concentrate  Keep an open mind  Hear the person out  Do not react to emotive words

30. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Active Listening (not!) Behaviors that hinder effective listening  Act distracted (look at your watch!)  Tell your own story without acknowledging theirs  Give no response  Invalidate response, be negative  Interrupt  Criticize  Diagnose what was said  Give advice/solutions quickly  Change the subject  Reassure without acknowledgment

31. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Let’s practice Tell the person next to you about your Research Project

32. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Tell me your stories Do you feel your partner understood you? What made your partner easy/hard to listen to?

33. Part 3 Paraphrasing, Summarizing and Questioning

34. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Techniques to improve listening skills PARAPHRASE Restate what was said in your own wordsPARAPHRASE SUMMARIZE Pull together the main points of a speakerSUMMARIZE QUESTION Challenge speaker to think further, clarifying both your and their understandingQUESTION

35. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Practice Paraphrasing Paraphrasing is simply restating what another person has said in your own words. Use phrases such as:  In other words…  I gather that…  If I understand what you are saying…  What I hear you saying is…  Pardon my interruption, but let me see if I understand you correctly…

36. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Practice Summarizing Summarizing pulls important ideas, facts or data together. Useful for emphasizing key points and setting the stage for further discussion. The person summarizing must listen carefully in order to organize the information systematically. Try out these summarizing phrases:  “If I understand you correctly, your main concerns are…”  “These seem to be the key ideas you have expressed… ”

37. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Two basic types of questions 1.Closed questions:  G et a one-word response and inhibit thought.  Questions begin with who, when and which 2.Open-ended questions:  Invite unique thought, reflection or an explanation.  Questions begin with how, what and how come (not why!).

38. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Practice Questioning Rephrase the following closed questions to make them open-ended: 1. Are you feeling tired? 2. Isn’t it a nice day? 3. Was the last activity useful? 4. Is there anything bothering you? 5. So everything is fine, then?

39. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Let’s practice Tell the person next to you what you did last weekend

40. Questions?

41. Boğazıçı University Tom Atkinson Feedback Give an assessment of today’s session What did you like most and least? Assess the verbal presentation? Assess the slides? How useful do you think this topic will be for future classes on communications? tom.atkinson@alum.mit.edu