1. The Question Q.) Compare how poets use language to present feelings in ‘The Farmer’s Bride’ and one other poem from Relationships. (36 marks)

2. Introduction Example… There are many similarities and differences between ‘The Farmer’s Bride’ and ‘Hour’. The examples of these are possession, time and lust.

3. Feedback There are many similarities and differences between ‘The Farmer’s Bride’ and ‘Hour’. The examples of these are possession, time and lust. -Needs to mention the poets’ names -Too general- avoid using ‘similarities and differences’ -You do not need to list exactly what is coming up in the essay Instead… -Make a statement- have a ‘take’ on the poems/an angle- be opinionated (but do not congratulate the poet!)

4. A punchy introduction Example… The poet Charlotte Mew, in ‘The Farmer’s Bride’, and Carol Ann Duffy, in ‘Hour’, explore feelings of possession and lust within romantic love, with a strong sense of the pressure of time on relationships. Though ‘The Farmer’s Bride’ takes after a folk ballad, and ‘Hour’ is an unconventional sonnet, they are united in their characterisation of speakers with hugely intense emotions. WHAT IS DIFFERENT HERE?

5. Conclusion Example… Overall, you can see links between the two poems through themes such as lust and time. They also have a similar structure that is interesting when comparing the two poems.

6. Feedback Example… Overall, you can see links between the two poems through themes such as lust and time. They also have a similar structure that is interesting when comparing the two poems. -Repeats question -Repeats what has been said in the essay- not adding anything new

7. Conclusion Instead… Draw your points together Make a statement- evaluate the key essence of the poems. You could pose a rhetorical question- Could we suggest that Duffy and Mew are trying to… (Though do not chat to your reader!)

8. An evaluative conclusion Both ‘The Farmer’s Bride’ and ‘Hour’ are dominated by the speakers’ obsessive feelings. It is important to note the key difference, however, in that the speaker in ‘Hour’ has their obsessive lust apparently requited, whereas in ‘The Farmer’s Bride’ the speaker lusts after his wife despite having no encouragement or response. The reader will be left disconcerted after reading ‘The Farmer’s Bride’, though we might question whether ‘Hour’ leaves us with a similar sense of unease. Can such obsession ever be positive or healthy within a relationship? WHERE ARE THE EVALUATIVE PHRASES IN THIS CONCLUSION?