2. Difficult Conversations May 18, 2010

3. How might we respond?? Let’s explore some options…

4. Difficult Conversations May 18, 2010 Come at them with both barrels!

5. Difficult Conversations May 18, 2010 PANIC!

6. Difficult Conversations May 18, 2010 Vote them off of the island!

7. Difficult Conversations May 18, 2010 What is it we fear? “A difficult conversation is only the “big deal” you make it to be and you allow it to be.” Donna Flag, “Surviving Dreaded Conversation”

8. Difficult Conversations May 18, 2010 What makes a conversation difficult? –Differing opinions –Stakes are high –Emotions are strong From “Crucial Conversations, Tools for Talking When Stakes are High”

9. Difficult Conversations May 18, 2010 Everyone wants to be listened to, understood, and taken seriously.

10. Difficult Conversations May 18, 2010 Insight #1: It’s the right thing to do

11. Difficult Conversations May 18, 2010 Insight #2: Put the bad news up front

12. Difficult Conversations May 18, 2010 Insight #3: Get all of the data on the table…create a pool of shared meaning

13. Difficult Conversations May 18, 2010 Insight #4: Ban the “BUT”!

14. Difficult Conversations May 18, 2010 SPEAK My example is… The evidence shows Therefore, I think… THINK What do I think? Why do I think that? What is the evidence?

15. Difficult Conversations May 18, 2010 Insight #5: Ask yourself: why would a reasonable, rational decent human being act like this?

16. Difficult Conversations May 18, 2010 To address the issue or not…that is the question! –Don’t address and accept the current situation –Address the situation and create a more positive future

17. Difficult Conversations May 18, 2010 “A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more.” Rosabeth Moss Kanter

18. Resources May 18, 2010 Crucial Conversations Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler

19. Resources May 18, 2010 Difficult Conversations Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, and Roger Fishe

20. Resources May 18, 2010 How to Win Friends and Influence People Dale Carnegie

21. Difficult Conversations May 18, 2010 “Face the thing that seems overwhelming and you will be surprised how your fear will melt away.” Dale Carnegie

22. Deb Jones Western District Director deborah.jones@ces.uwex.edu