1. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight1 Introduction Session 5 Meditation, Mindfulness and Insight Acceptance

2. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight2 Homework Anyone do the mantra / breathing combination? Everyday life Did events reinforce your understanding? Were you able to apply the philosophy? Did the meditations help? How? Questions or comments?

3. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight3 Meditations Taught Diaphragmatic Breathing – Heart Rate Easy, quick, use any time during the day Before and after stressful situations Zen – Mindfulness in the moment - Reality Body Scan When you want a good nights sleep Sitting Meditation Cultivate deep relaxed state of mind Tantric - Visualizations – Transcendent - Skillful means Mantras When you are really stressed and intellectual understanding fails to alter your emotional state! Compassion Alters perspectives and attitudes Mindfulness – Equanimity Goal – 24 x 7 being in the moment

4. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight4 Important!!! Meditation an opportunity to practice letting go Meditation produces minor annoyances Boredom, Itchy nose, wandering minds Annoyances become a chance for you to find equanimity in spite of these circumstances You don’t want these negative things But you can be calm, focused and relaxed in spite of them See if you can create an internal or external smile anyway Every time you get upset think: “Wow, what a great opportunity to practice letting go!!” Meditation provides the opportunity to practice your ability alter the state of your mind.

5. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight5 Comment on the following: What is your idea about what enlightenment means? What would life be like after you were enlightened? Any negative connotations to enlightenment? There are no wrong answers!!!!!!

6. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight6 The milk has spilled and you accept it with equanimity and deal with it constructively. The milk has spilled and you are sad Either way the milk has spilled …. Taken from a book by Cheri Huber The milk has spilled

7. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight7 Parkinson’s Student’s On Acceptance I could not have been able to live my life without being able to accept my disease. I was absolutely miserable until I accepted my situation and could move on with my life. However, I had to go through grieving and anger first. It took time. Once I accepted my situation I also was able to face it more squarely and push the boundaries: I tried doing things like playing tennis and the piano and was able to enjoy them because I accepted the limitations and didn’t expect those experiences to be the same as before I had Parkinson’s. (Insight from a person drowning, who learned from personal experience, how to stay afloat).

8. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight8 Insightful Acceptance Non Judgmental Horrible IdealWhere we are.Where we want to be. X X Healthy Successful Wealthy Wise Youthful Insightful Acceptance – Accepting what is real in this moment yet still able to do the things that are supportive of the direction we want to go without expectations of where we “should be” at this moment of the journey. Attractive Leader Admired Loved and Loving Generous Spiritual

9. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight9 Aspirations / Acceptance Aspirations are supportive We need goals and direction We need to strive Unrealistic expectations can be counter productive Leads to worry and sense of failure “I’ll be happy when…” Find the balance between aspiring for improvement and acceptance. Maintain equanimity on every step on the journey.

10. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight10 Insightful Acceptance Letting Go / Coming to terms What it is Letting go of things that can’t be changed in this moment Equanimity An experience of having peace with the situation. Letting go of destructive reactions out of anger, hatred and jealousy Not letting the situation trigger self-defeating behavior Honoring the fact that it takes time to heal It is not Denying ones need to grieve Suppressing either anger or guilt Giving up on improvement. Failing to react in emergencies. Saying things are OK while you are emotionally charged. Becoming the door mat of the world. In spite of negative circumstances keeping a balance and calm but not diminishing the gravity of the situation

11. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight11 Guided Meditation

12. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight12 Why psychology? Meditation is like aspirin May stop the suffering. You may not deal with the cause. Psychology / Contemplation Understanding of human nature Dealing with the root of the problem of anxiety. Insights needed for strategies for human interactions

13. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight13 Cognitive Therapy Thoughts are not facts! Thoughts can be Emotion Laden This is horrible Moralistic This is bad Interpretive My life is over Exaggerations I’ll never get anything write (sic) As we become mindful and aware we will notice that our own thoughts are not always rational. Cognitive Therapy Becoming Conscious of your thought patterns Questioning your thoughts

14. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight14 Distortion Examples I failed my math exam I can never learn math My girlfriend / boyfriend left me I will never be loved again I made a mistake I can never do anything right. Someone doesn’t greet you What did I do wrong? Why don’t they like me? PERCEPTION is reality. We live in the world of perceptions not in the real world. Jung’s patient lived on the moon?

15. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight15 Analytical Psychology Understanding What are the historical conditions that make us behave as we do. Why others behave as they do. Cultivates the knowledge to develop constructive strategies in communicating with others Theories Complexes Projections Active Imagination Dream Analysis Also known as Depth Psychology Jungian Psychology

16. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight16 Analytical Psychology Rule number one. It’s never about what it is about! Why not? -- Complexes The triggering circumstance brings out deep energy charged ideas and beliefs. Unconscious. Dominates our behavior. Based on childhood or other past experiences. Distorted our perception of existing circumstances. Complexes are not necessarily good or bad, it depends on what they cause you to do! Example of distortion – An insult You response depends on your own feelings of self worth. If you are self confident you might feel sorry for the offender. If you lack self confidence you are more likely to get angry.

17. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight17 Example of a complex Independence Complex “To be a man I must be independent. I can take care of myself.” History Father says – “I was independent since I was 12 years old.” Self enhancing behavior Works hard at school so he too can be independent. Self defeating behavior if you become incapacitated Driving your car when you are legally blind. Getting angry with caregivers – “I don’t need your help.”

18. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight18 Example of a Complex Being Valued Complex “I want to be valued and appreciated.” History Parents said – “Don’t send a boy to do a man’s job.” “You will never amount to anything.” Self Enhancing Behavior Work hard - “I’ll show them” Anticipate problems Self Defeating Behavior Constant fear of failure Feel diminished if you are not perfect. Must prove yourself right in every argument.

19. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight19 Being Valued Complex Universal - Who doesn’t want to be valued? How should we treat others? Everyone you meet is looking for acceptance. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is listen with compassion and validate their feelings. Evaluate our own strategies Sometimes to get approval we chase people away by strategies such as: Stealing the spotlight and hogging the conversation. Putting down others. Telling Jokes. How do we respond when others diminish us Understanding that they are often wounded can help us deal more effectively with them.

20. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight20 Complexes Good Complexes can drive us to our greatest accomplishments Bad Complexes can fill us with fear and anxiety Meditation Awareness / wise old man within Helps free us from the anxiety of fear. Allows us to take more constructive action. Insight – violin strings Finding a balance is the challenge.

21. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight21 Projections Father says “Shut up and do What you are told.” Boss or Spouse My thoughts and opinions are not valued, I must be quiet and do what I am Told or I will be Overwhelmed. Historic Event Complex Creates a complex Projection - Boss and Spouse are authority figures Like my dad and I can’t talk to them either Cause of Passive Aggressive Behavior.

22. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight22 Projections Mother or father says “You are the apple Of my eye, I will nurture you forever” Girlfriend Boyfriend Boss Prince or Princess Complex I was meant to be nurtured and cared for Historic Event Complex Creates a complex Projection – Everyone should take care of me and put me first!

23. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight23 Projections Expectations of others behaviors or actions based on historic figures in your life. Positive or negative historic events still distort our perception and create inhibiting expectations Issues Unrealistic expectations of self and others. Making communication decisions based upon your historic relationships. These projections are unconscious Both mindfulness and psychological awareness are needed to change these projections

24. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight24 Complementary Approaches Meditation / mindfulness approach Thoughts are just thoughts, let them dissolve, don’t follow them. Focus on the moment Mental discipline to cultivate the awareness to repeat this process Cognitive therapy Write down the thoughts and evaluate their validity Observe thought and behavior patterns Analytical Psychology Complexes and the historical origin of your strategies and expectations. Have you felt like this in the past? Has a complex or a projection been triggered What’s common? Awareness / Consciousness / Questioning our own thoughts. Personal Responsibility – change our own habitual patterns Are your instinctive responses serving you well? Insight

25. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight25 Affirmations Reverence Gratitude Humility Compassion Wisdom Action Calmness Confident Connected Consoled Courage Determined Divine Enlightened Equanimity Eternal Faithful Forgiveness Generosity Giving Grounded Growth Happiness Healing Insightful Inspiration Joy Kindness Liberated Love Loved Loving Noble Nurtured Openness Pardon Peace Serenity Tranquility Transcendence Transformation Treasure True Nature Truth United Virtue

26. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight26 Complexes - summary Emotionally Charged Based on personal history Causes are unconscious Consciousness blames the triggering event Impairs your cognitive abilities Woman astronaut who went to attack her competition The important questions Is the level of energy appropriate for this situation? Are our reactions self defeating or self enhancing? Where have I experienced this emotion before?

27. Meditation, Mindfulness & Insight27 Comment on the following: Quote If you want to be content, BE CONTENT If you want to be happy, BE HAPPY Questions Is it true? If not, why isn’t this true?