1. Chapter 12
Notes

2. Court The hearing turns out well…
Randy and Cherry testify that Johnny killed Bob in self-defence.
The judge does not ask Ponyboy about Bob’s death; he only questions him about his home life (living with Darry, school, grades, etc.).
It is inferred that Pony’s doctor has told the judge that Pony is not in a stable state of mind to discuss the events of that night.
Ponyboy is acquitted of all charges. He is free to go home with his brothers.
With the court’s decision, it seems as if the novel’s conflicts have been resolved:
Ponyboy is cleared of all charges.
The Curtis brothers are not being split up.
ALL SHOULD BE WELL…

3. All is not well for Ponyboy…
Ponyboy suffers aftereffects from his concussion.
He has balance problems (bangs into things, trips)
He has memory problems (loses things, is forgetful)
Has no appetite (stopped eating)
In addition, he doesn’t seem to care much about anything anymore. He seems to be emotionally shut down, and has lost interest in life.
His grades start to slip, for example.
We can conclude that Ponyboy is depressed in the aftermath of Johnny and Dally’s deaths.
At this point, he still refuses to accept it and cope with it.
Also keep in mind that the earlier deaths of his parents and the instability of his life ever since likely contributed to Pony’s fragile state of mind.
Ponyboy thinks there is only one way to survive the tragedies he’s been through – by walking through life without feeling, without participating.

4. English composition
Ponyboy’s English teacher informs him that he is failing.
Considering the “circumstances”, he offers Pony a deal – if he can write a good final essay, he will pass Pony with a “C” grade.
Ponyboy misinterprets what the teacher means by “circumstances”.
The teacher is referring to the tragic events Pony has been through recently, but Pony assumes he is referring to the trouble he has gotten into.
The essay can be written about a topic of Ponyboy’s choosing, but it has to be based on personal experiences and thoughts.
This English essay will provide Ponyboy with the opportunity to express thoughts and emotions that have been building up inside him over the last few, chaotic weeks.

5. Pony the hood?
Ponyboy, Two-Bit, and Steve are approached by a group of Socs at a neighborhood store.
Pony feels nothing – not fear, nor anger. (Emotionally numb – tapped out).
The Socs confront Ponyboy: “You’re the guy that killed Bob Sheldon. And he was a friend of ours. We don’t like nobody killing our friends, especially greasers.”
Ponyboy breaks the glass of the soda bottle he’s holding and threatens the Socs until they back off. He does not think twice about doing this.
Recall how earlier in the novel he told Cherry that he would not be able to use a broken bottle as a weapon; now, he seems perfectly willing to do so.
Has he really changed?
Two-Bit is concerned by what he sees. He cautions Ponyboy to not get tough like the rest of the greasers; it’s not his true nature.
“Ponyboy, listen, don’t get tough. You’re not like the rest of us and don’t try to be…”

6. False alarm
Poyboy silently tells himself, “…if you got tough you didn’t get hurt. Get smart and nothing can touch you.” (Dally’s advice)
Is Ponyboy turning cold and mean and hard like Dally?
When he starts picking up the glass from the broken bottle, we can see that the true Ponyboy is still there.
He does not want anyone to get a flat tire.
His subconscious knows the difference between right and wrong.
This is a signal to Two-Bit, and readers, that Ponyboy’s gentle, sensitive nature isn’t dead afterall.
Two-Bit is relieved.
Just as he picks up the pieces of glass, Ponyboy will eventually pick up his life and move forward.

7. Arguing with Darry
Ponyboy is not making much progress with his English paper, so Darry frequently scolds him about it.
Most parents/guardians would do the same, but it creates new conflict with Ponyboy.
One particular argument results in a shouting match.
It is uncharacteristic of Ponyboy to yell back at Darry, but the “new” Ponyboy does.
Darry wants Ponyboy to start facing the truth; in other words, he wants Pony to start living again.
“…with your brains and grades you could get a scholarship…you don’t just stop living because you lose someone You don’t quit!”
In order to meet his potential, Darry is suggesting that Ponyboy must overcome his depression and pursue his goals.
Darry’s message is very much correct, but hard for Ponyboy to accept. He continues to deny the truth.

8. Sodapop breaks
The argument between Ponyboy and Darry is too much for Sodapop.
He gets upsets and runs out of the house.
He drops a letter than he had written to Sandy in Florida, which was returned to him, unopened.
Ponyboy learns from Darry that Sodapop was not the father of Sandy’s baby (she had cheated on him with someone else).
Soda offered to marry her anyway (loyal, self-sacrificing), but she turned him down.
Ponyboy feels terrible that he had not been there for Sodapop. He had been too caught up in what was going on in his own life (self-absorption).
“…I hadn’t even bothered to find out.”
“…I realized that I never had paid much attention to Soda’s problems.”
“How many times had Soda started to tell me something, only to find I was daydreaming or stuck in a book?”
Ponyboy has not returned the support, compassion, or empathy that Soda has continually given him.

9. Middle brother tug-of-war
Ponyboy and Darry catch up to Sodapop in the park. Soda tells them that their fighting is hurting him, putting a strain on him.
He feels torn between them: “…it’s like I’m the middleman in a tug o’ war and I’m being split in half.”
Soda’s position as a mediator between Darry and Pony is painful.
Neither Darry or Ponyboy had realized what they were doing to Soda, but Soda’s breakdown forces them to acknowledge it. They finally see the consequences of their fighting.
Soda says he can’t take sides because he can see and understand both sides.
Darry is too serious, yells too much, and tries too hard; he needs to try to understand Pony better.
Ponyboy doesn’t think enough and doesn’t realize all that Darry has given up to raise them.
Soda reminds his brothers that they only have each other left, and they should stick together, not fight.
“If we don’t have each other, we don’t have anything. If you don’t have anything, you end up like Dallas and I don’t mean dead, either. I mean like he was before. And that’s worse than dead.”
Being like Dally – hard, tough, cold, mean, unable to find happiness, living a sad existence – is worse than not living at all.

10. A new understanding
After their conversation in the park, the brothers have a new understanding of each other.
“I suddenly realized that Darry was only twenty I saw that I had expected Darry to do all the understanding without even trying to understand him.”
They agree not to fight anymore, especially for Soda.
“We couldn’t do anything to hurt Soda.”
“Instead of Darry and me pulling him apart, he’d be pulling us together.”
They race back to their house, but nobody wins. They all arrive at the same time.
“I guess we all just wanted to stay together.”
Their tied race symbolizes their commitment to sticking together from this point forward.

11. No more denial
Ponyboy picks up the copy of Gone With the Wind that Johnny left for him.
Even though it took him some time, Pony finally comes to terms with Johnny’s death.
“I knew Johnny was dead. I had known it all the time, even while I was sick and pretending he wasn’t. It was Johnny – not me – who had killed Bob – I knew that too.”
He acknowledges why he had tried to deny the truth.
“I had just thought that maybe if I played like Johnny wasn’t dead it wouldn’t hurt so much.”

12. Johnny’s letter In the book, Ponyboy finds a letter from Johnny.
Johnny has come to terms with dying; “I don’t mind dying now.”
Saving the lives of the children in the church was worth his own life.
Johnny urges Ponyboy to “stay gold”, to keep watching sunsets and appreciating the world as if it were new.
He tells Pony to pass this idea on to Dally, who needs to understand it more than anyone.
“I want you to tell Dally to look at one I don’t think he’s ever really seen a sunset.”
Johnny tells Ponyboy to stop being upset about his life as a greaser, the world isn’t all bad. He encourages Pony to reach his goals, there’s lots of time.
“Don’t be so bugged over being a greaser. You still have a lot of time to make yourself be what you want. There’s still lots of good in the world.”

13. More than a “personal thing”
Johnny’s request to Ponyboy to tell Dally about “staying gold” causes Pony to think about all the Dallys in the world.
Pony sees that his own situation is similar to that of so many other people in the world. It’s not just greasers who have it tough.
“Suddenly it wasn’t only a personal thing to me. I could picture hundreds and hundreds of boys living on the wrong sides of cities…”
Ponyboy understands that the social class struggle is happening worldwide, not just in Tulsa, Oaklahoma.
“It was too vast a problem to be just a personal thing.”

14. Pony’s writing topic
Ponyboy thinks that his story, and the story of others like him, should be told. Only then might people understand that they shouldn’t judge someone based on their social class.
“Someone should tell their side of the story, and maybe people would understand then and wouldn’t be so quick to judge…”
He also wants to ensure that people like him know that there is still some good left in the world, that they shouldn’t hold on to their anger (like Dally did, for example).
Ponyboy realizes that he could be the one to tell the story. He decides that this will be the topic for his essay.
He writes the first sentence, which is the first sentence of the novel The Outsiders.
Ponyboy therefore writes the novel, from his own perspective, for all of the “outsiders” in the world.

15. Catharsis & Growth
The writing of the novel has been a catharsis for Ponyboy.
Catharsis: the process of releasing emotional tension so that one is free from anxiety and stress.
The story also helps readers see Ponyboy’s growth as a person.
He was trapped in a state of darkness, despair, depression, and denial – as Darry describes it, a “vacuum”.
Writing the novel has helped Ponyboy come out of the darkness.
He has taken control of his life and realized that he is responsible for taking the first step toward something better.
Ponyboy is no longer watching his life go by like an extra (outsider) in a movie, but rather as the main actor.
His development as a person does not happened quickly, but rather takes place over the course of the novel.