1. True or False?
The breadth of information you self disclose is related to the person with whom you are talking.
The depth of information you self disclose is related to the reason you are disclosing and the level of intimacy in the relationship.

3. Relationships STAGES Are always changing
Initiating
Experimenting
Intensifying
Integrating
Bonding
Differentiating
Circumscribing
Stagnating
Avoiding
Terminating
Are always changing
Movement is always to a new place

5. REVIEW How do listening skills relate to healthy relationships?
What can happen when there are differences in communication styles and listening styles in relationships?

6. Four Personal Listening Styles
CONTENT ORIENTED: Focus on issues and arguments
PEOPLE ORIENTED: Focus on feelings and emotions
ACTION ORIENTED: Impatient and often finish speakers’ thoughts – tend to second guess
TIME ORIENTED: Prefer bulleted talking points quickly and briefly.

7. FAULTY LISTENING
Yes you can go to the concert, but I want you to call me when you get there, and I want you to take out the trash before you go, and you need to be home before 11:00 p.m.
I don’t think you understand what I’m saying.
I heard you.
I heard you say that you want me home by 11:00 p.m.
I heard what you said.
Here we go again with the trash!
Uh huh.
I heard exactly what
you said.

8. LISTENING What do good listeners look like?
Verbally
Nonverbally
Listening is not a natural process.
Listening requires effort (active not passive)
All listeners do not receive the same message.
We hear uniquely different messages
Physiological factors, social roles, cultural background, personal interests, and needs.

9. Listening Stages Attending –Mindfulness. Understanding/Interpreting
Responding
Remembering

10. IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
INTIMACY
IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
Male and female intimacy styles
Cultural influences on intimacy

11. Intimacy Physical intimacy Intellectual exchanges Emotional disclosure
Shared activities

12. Characteristics of Self-Disclosure
Influenced by Culture
Usually occurs in dyads
Usually symmetrical
Occurs incrementally
FEW transactions involve high levels of self-disclosure

13. Reasons for Self-Disclosure
Catharsis
Self-Clarification
Self-Validation
Reciprocity
Impression management
Relationship maintenance and enhancement
Control

14. Alternatives to Self-Disclosure
Lies
White Lies
Equivocation
Hinting
Face Saving

15. Perspectives & Tensions
Connection
Predictability
Openness
Autonomy
Novelty
Privacy

16. Guidelines for Appropriate Self-Disclosure
Is the other person important to you?
Is the risk of disclosing reasonable?
Are the amount and type of disclosure appropriate?
Is the disclosure relevant to the situation at hand?
Is the disclosure reciprocated?
Will the effect be constructive?
Is the the self-disclosure clear and understandable?

17. CHARACTERISTICS OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
Metacommunication
Messages (usually relational) that refer to other messages: communication about communication.

18. SELF-DISCLOSURE IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

19. A Helical Model of Relational Cycles
(figure 6-3)

25. CLASS ACTIVITIES:
Self-Disclosure
Johari Window