1. Building High Self-Esteem
Chapter Four
Building High Self-Esteem

2. Chapter Preview: Building High Self-Esteem
Define and discuss how it is developed
Influences on human relations and success at work
Characteristics of people with low and high self-esteem
Role of mentors in professional life
Ways individuals and organizations can raise self-esteem
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3. Two Major Components Self-efficacy Self-respect
Belief you can achieve what you set out to do
Developed though experience of mastery
success builds confidence to succeed in other areas
Self-respect
What you think and feel about yourself
Self-respect likely earns respect from others
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4. Self-Esteem = Self-Efficacy + Self-Respect
One’s appreciation of own worth and importance
Experience of being capable of meeting life’s challenges and being worthy of happiness
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5. Self-Esteem = Self-Efficacy + Self-Respect
Character to be accountable for behaviors
Acting responsibly toward others
Confidence in ability to
think
understand
make decisions
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6. How Self-Esteem Develops
Self-concept
bundle of facts, opinions, beliefs, and perceptions about yourself that are present in every moment of every day
much is unconscious, yet continues to influence judgments, feelings, and behaviors
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7. Childhood
Experience early in life have a significant impact on one’s life and potential in later years
Foundation of self-esteem in childhood emerges later in life
Emotional stability impacts self-esteem
Defining negative experiences occur
Abusive or uncaring parent
Serious childhood accident
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8. Total Person Insight
Feeling good about who you are and what you’ve here on earth to do—that is the real work of your life. And it’s ongoing. Each of us arrives with all we need to feel valued and unique, but slowly that gets chipped away.
Oprah Winfrey
Founder and Editorial Director, O, The Oprah Magazine
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9. Adolescence Develop and consolidate feelings about yourself
Age 12 to 18
Changes and challenges
physical image
peer and social pressure
begin to assume adult responsibilities
Role models are important
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10. Adulthood Reinforced self-concept molded by past
Adults tend to define themselves in terms of:
Things they possession
What they do for a living
Internal value system and emotional makeup
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11. Total Person Insight
How many times do we pay for one mistake? The answer is thousands of times. The human is the only animal on earth that pays a thousand times for the same mistake. The rest of the animals pay once for every mistake they make. But not us. We have powerful memory. We make a mistake, we judge ourselves, we find ourselves guilty, and punish ourselves….Every time we remember, we judge ourselves again, we are guilty again, and we punish ourselves again, and again, and again.
Don Miguel Ruiz
Author, The Four Agreements
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12. How Self-Esteem Influences Your Behavior
Powerful influence on behavior
at work
in personal life
Healthy self-esteem is
less vulnerable to negative views of others
more tolerant and respectful of others
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13. Locus of Control Internal locus of control External locus of control
Belief that one is largely responsible for what happens
External locus of control
Belief that life is almost totally controlled by outside forces
Success is luck
Often rely on approval from others
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14. Characteristics - Low Self-Esteem
Tendency toward
External locus of control
Self-destructive behaviors
Poor human relations skills
Failure syndrome
Trouble with relationships
Being less productive
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15. Characteristics - High Self-Esteem
Future oriented
Better able to cope with life’s challenges
Feel emotions without letting them affect behavior in a negative way
Less likely to take things personally
Accept people as unique, talented individuals
Exhibit self-confident behaviors
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16. Building Self-Esteem Possible but difficult to change
Difficult to determine source of personal doubt
Difficult finding words to describe negative feelings
Begins with desire to overcome low self-esteem
Slow evolution
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17. How to Build Self-Esteem
Identify the source of low self-esteem:
Careful examination of defining moments in life
Make list of labels others use to describe you
Determine which ones you’ve internalized
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18. How to Build Self-Esteem
Identify and accept your limitations:
Accept yourself for who you are now
Don’t demand perfection
Don’t dwell on the past
Learn to dislike behaviors rather than self-condemnation
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19. How to Build Self-Esteem
Take responsibility for your decisions:
Making decisions helps you develop confidence in your own judgment
Be willing to set goals
Accept the consequences of your decisions
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20. Total Person Insight
There is little understanding in our culture that being an adult is an ongoing process of learning and self-correcting: Life is always changing, revealing what was previously unknown and unplanned for.
Fran Cox and Louis Cox
Authors, A Conscious Life
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21. How to Build Self-Esteem
Develop expertise in some area:
Developing “expert power” builds self-esteem
Use what you know to benefit yourself and your company
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22. How to Build Self-Esteem
Seek the support and guidance of mentors:
A mentor helps you learn something that you would otherwise not have learned as well or as quickly
Effective tool used in organizations
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23. How to Build Self-Esteem
Tips for building a mentor relationship:
Having multiple mentors is best
A mentor should have the qualities of a good coach
Market yourself to prospective mentors
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24. How to Build Self-Esteem
Set goals:
People who set goals maintain high self-esteem
Make your goals realistic.
Picture yourself reaching the goal
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25. How to Build Self-Esteem
Visualize achievement of your goals:
To visualize means to form a mental image of something
If you want to succeed, picture yourself succeeding over and over
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26. Goal Setting Principles
Spend time reflecting on things you want to change in your life
Develop a goal-setting plan that includes steps to achieve the goal
Modify your environment by changing stimuli around you
Monitor your behavior and reward progress
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27. How to Build Self-Esteem
Use positive self-talk:
Self-talk takes place silently in the privacy of your mind
It is the personal conversations you have with yourself
Your self-talk can dramatically affect your behavior
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28. How to Build Self-Esteem
Create self-talk statements for each of your goals:
Be specific about the behavior you want to change
Begin each statement with a first-person pronoun
Describe the results you want to achieve
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29. Figure 4.1 Figure 4.1 Self-Esteem Cycles
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30. Organizations Can Help
Low self-esteem often means poor performance
Organizations realizing importance of their role in developing self-esteem
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31. Factors That Enhance The Self-Esteem of Employees
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32. Organizations Can… Value and accommodate each unique individual
Recognize accomplishments
Use well-designed training programs
Clarify expectations and provide feedback
Keep employees well informed
Encourage the use of employees’ ideas
Emphasize teamwork
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33. Summary Self-esteem is a combination of self-respect and self-efficacy
Feeling competent and worthy
Self-esteem is the foundation for a successful personal life
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34. Summary Self-esteem is acquired and built from birth
influenced by parents, friends, associates, and the media
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35. Summary People with high self-esteem tend to be future oriented
cope with problems creatively, handle their emotions, and give as well as receive help
accept others as unique talented individuals
exhibit self-confident behaviors
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36. Summary To build high self-esteem individuals must accept the past
build for the future
accept their limitations
develop expertise in some area
make decisions and live with the consequences
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37. Summary
Set goals by
visualizing the person they want to be
monitoring self-talk
Organizations now realize the need for help in building self-esteem in their employees
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38. Summary Organizations can offer training sessions
give better feedback and statements of expectations
offer greater respect for the individual in the workplace
foster teamwork
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