1. Finding the Intersections of Purpose
Communication
Finding the Intersections of Purpose

2. Copyright Conversant Solutions
Laws of Conversation
All humans have purposes and concerns.
When people perceive you threaten or are unaware of their purposes and concerns, the resist. This is waste.
When people perceive you are aware of and sensitive to their purposes and concerns, they communicate and collaborate. This is value.
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3. Copyright Conversant Solutions
Innovation….
“Innovation occurs for many reasons, including
greed, ambition, conviction, happenstance, acts
of nature, mistakes, and desperation. But one
force above all seems to facilitate the process.
The easier it is to communicate, the
faster change happens.”
James Burke, Connections (1995 ED.)
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4. Copyright Conversant Solutions
Intersection
The Facts
Intersection
If stuck, alter
Success = new ideas
My View
Your View
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5. Bioreactions and Waste vs. Value
Fight—Flee—Freeze—Appease
Natural, can’t avoid it
Impotent vs. Valuable Explanations
Name of the game: catch and correct
Wasteful
Difference
Ignorant Bioreaction
Justification
“What proves me right”
Valuable
Difference
Awareness of Bioreaction
New Perception
“What creates value?”
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6. Copyright Conversant Solutions
Learning
Defense
Destroy
Flight
Freeze
Flee
Appease
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7. Kinds of Intersections
Purpose
Method
Result
Source of Value
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8. The Conversation Meter
sincerity
accuracy
pretense
authenticity
Value
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9. The Conversation Meter: Pretense
sincerity
accuracy
pretense
authenticity
A direct conflict between what you say
in one situation and what you say in another
(lying, withholding information).
Focus: Avoid difficulty
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10. The Conversation Meter: Pretense
0- 8 = intentional lying
9-17 = reactive lying
18-25 = withholding what you honestly have to say
sincerity
accuracy
pretense
authenticity
Focus: Avoid difficulty
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11. The Conversation Meter: Sincerity
accuracy
pretense
authenticity
An honest report of my point of view; includes
thoughtless certainty that my view is accurate.
Focus: Be honest; defend my honest position.
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12. The Conversation Meter: Sincerity
26-33 = unedited eruption
34-42 = honest, firm opinion
43-50 = solicit others’ views but not learning from them
sincerity
accuracy
pretense
authenticity
Focus: Be honest; defend my honest position.
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13. The Conversation Meter: Accuracy
sincerity
accuracy
pretense
authenticity
Separating mutually observable facts from explanation
of those facts. Includes the recognition that my perceptions
are not reality.
Focus: Reveal facts and compare explanations for value.
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14. The Conversation Meter: Accuracy
51-58 = separating facts from explanations
59-66 = facts, then explanations
67-75 = comparing explanations for value
sincerity
accuracy
pretense
authenticity
Focus: Reveal facts and compare explanations for value.
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15. Left Hand Column Exercise
Take a piece of paper
Draw a line down the middle
Label the left hand column “Facts”
Label the right hand column “Story”
Think about some interaction that happened recently that was pretty inconsequential
On the left hand column specifically state what happened…the facts
On the right hand column specifically state what your story is about what happened
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16. The Conversation Meter: Authenticity
sincerity
accuracy
pretense
authenticity
Genuine appreciation of various views and factors, researching
where they intersect for new insight and opportunity.
Focus: Clarify essential purpose and reveal intersections for
action.
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17. The Conversation Meter: Authenticity
= appreciate essential purposes of others
= discovering actionable opportunity at intersection
= startling discovering of unimagined possibilities
sincerity
accuracy
pretense
authenticity
Focus: Clarify essential purpose and reveal intersections for
action.
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18. Exercise: Finding the Intersection
Identify an issue you have at work/home
Pick a partner (someone not in your group)
Fill in the matrix
Share insights with a partner
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19. Copyright Conversant Solutions
Intersection Matrix
Issue:
Name
Purposes
Concerns
Relevant Facts
Relationship Status
Themes:
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20. Copyright Conversant Solutions
Ladder of Listening
Intersection
Essential Purpose
Compassion
Content
0 Bioreaction
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