1. Building High Self-Esteem
Chapter Four
Building High
Self-Esteem

2. Chapter Preview: Building High Self-Esteem
Define and describe impact on your life
Discuss how self-esteem is developed
Identify characteristics of people with low and high self-esteem
Identify ways to raise your self-esteem
Ways organizations can help raise self-esteem

3. Total Person Insight
Our level of self-esteem affects virtually everything we think, say, and do. It affects how we see the world and our place in it. It affects how others in the world see and treat us. It affects the choices we make—choices about what we will do with our lives and with whom we will be involved. It affects our ability to both give and receive love. And, it affects our ability to take action to change things that need to be changed.
Tschirhart Sanford and Mary Ellen Donovan
Authors, Women & Self-Esteem

4. Two Major Components
Self-efficacy-belief you can achieve what you set out to do
Developed though experience of mastery
success builds confidence to succeed in other areas
Self-respect
What you think and feel about yourself
Self-respect likely earns respect from others

5. Self-Esteem = Self-Efficacy + Self-Respect
One’s appreciation of own worth and importance
Experience of being capable of meeting life’s challenges and being worthy of happiness

6. Self-Esteem = Self-Efficacy + Self-Respect
Character to be accountable for behaviors
Acting responsibly toward others
Confidence in ability to
think
understand
make decisions

7. How Self-Esteem Develops
Self-concept
bundle of facts, opinions, beliefs, and perceptions about yourself that are present in every moment of every day
much is unconscious, yet continues to influence judgments, feelings, and behaviors

8. Childhood
Experience early in life have a significant impact on one’s life and potential in later years
Foundation of self-esteem in childhood emerges later in life
Emotional stability impacts self-esteem
Defining negative experiences occur
i.e. uncaring parent, too much television

9. Adolescence Develop personal identity as a unique individual
Age 11 to late adolescence
Resolve questions about
self-worth
sexuality
independence
Role models are important

10. Adulthood Reinforced self-concept molded by past
Adults tend to define themselves in terms of:
Things they possession
What they do for a living
Internal value system and emotional makeup

11. Total Person Insight
How many times do we pay for one mistake? The answer is thousands of times. The human is the only animal on earth that pays a thousand times for the same mistake. The rest of the animals pay once for every mistake they make. But not us. We have powerful memory. We make a mistake, we judge ourselves, we find ourselves guilty, and punish ourselves….Every time we remember, we judge ourselves again, we are guilty again, and we punish ourselves again, and again, and again.
Don Miguel Ruiz
Author, The Four Agreements

12. How Self-Esteem Influences Your Behavior
Powerful influence on behavior
at work
in personal life
Healthy self-esteem is
less vulnerable to negative views of others
more tolerant and respectful of others

13. Locus of Control External locus of control
Belief that life is almost totally controlled by outside forces
Success is luck
Often rely on approval from others

14. Characteristics - Low Self-Esteem
Tendency toward
External locus of control
Self-destructive behaviors
Poor human relations skills

15. Characteristics - High Self-Esteem
Tendency toward internal locus of control
Belief that one is largely responsible for what happens
Feel emotions without letting them affect behavior in a negative way
Less likely to take things personally
Accept people as unique, talented individuals
Have productive personality

16. Building Self-Esteem
Self-esteem can grow or deteriorate throughout life
The person you will be tomorrow has yet to be created
Slow evolution

17. How to Build Self-Esteem
Identify the source of low self-esteem:
Careful examination of defining moments in life
Make list of labels others use to describe you
Determine which ones you’ve internalized

18. How to Build Self-Esteem
Identify and accept your limitations:
Accept yourself for who you are now
Don’t demand perfection
Don’t dwell on the past

19. How to Build Self-Esteem
Take responsibility for your decisions:
Making decisions helps you develop confidence in your own judgment
Be willing to set goals
Accept the consequences of your decisions

20. Total Person Insight
There is little understanding in our culture that being an adult is an ongoing process of learning and self-correcting: Life is always changing, revealing what was previously unknown and unplanned for.
Fran Cox and Louis Cox
Authors, A Conscious Life

21. How to Build Self-Esteem
Engage in strength building
Maximize your strengths
Discover your talents
A talent is any naturally recurring pattern of thought, feeling, or behavior that can be productively applied
Strength building requires knowledge and skill

22. How to Build Self-Esteem
Seek the support and guidance of mentors:
A mentor helps you learn something that you would otherwise not have learned as well or as quickly
Effective tool used in organizations

23. How to Build Self-Esteem
Tips for building a mentor relationship:
Having multiple mentors is best
A mentor should have the qualities of a good coach
Market yourself to prospective mentors

24. How to Build Self-Esteem
Set goals:
People who set goals maintain high self-esteem
Make your goals realistic
Picture yourself reaching the goal

25. How to Build Self-Esteem
Practice guided imagery
Creative and empowering method to harness the power of the mind
To visualize means to form a mental image of something
If you want to succeed, picture yourself succeeding over and over

26. Goal Setting Principles
Spend time reflecting on things you want to change in your life
Develop a goal-setting plan that includes steps to achieve the goal
Modify your environment by changing stimuli around you
Monitor your behavior and reward progress

27. Figure 4.1 - Self-Esteem Cycles

28. Using Positive Self-Talk
Use positive self-talk:
Self-talk takes place silently in the privacy of your mind
It is the personal conversations you have with yourself
Your self-talk can dramatically affect your behavior

29. Creating Self-Talk Statements
Create self-talk statements for each of your goals:
Be specific about the behavior you want to change
Begin each statement with a first-person pronoun
Describe the results you want to achieve

30. Table 4.2 - Creating Semantically Correct Self-Talk

31. Organizations Can Help
Low self-esteem often means poor performance
Organizations realizing importance of their role in developing self-esteem

32. Figure 4.2 - Factors That Enhance The Self-Esteem of Employees

33. Organizations Can… Help workers feel Valued Competent Secure Empowered
Connected

34. Chapter Review Define self-esteem and describe its impact on your life
Self-esteem is a combination of self-respect and self-efficacy
People with high self-esteem feel competent and worthy
People with low self-esteem feel incompetent, unworthy, and insecure
High self-esteem is a powerful foundation for success

35. Chapter Review Discuss how self-esteem is developed Starts from birth
Parents, friends, associates, the media, and colleagues all influence self-esteem
Adolescents depend on social relationships to define their value
Adults use their possessions, jobs, and/or internal values

36. Chapter Review Characteristics of low and high self-esteem
People with high self-esteem tend to:
Maintain internal locus of control
Manage their emotions
Rarely take things personally
Accept other people as unique and talented
Have productive lives

37. Chapter Review Characteristics of low and high self-esteem
People with low self-esteem tend to:
Maintain external locus of control
Participate in self-destructive behaviors
Exhibit poor human relations skills
Rely on the opinions of others for self-worth

38. Chapter Review Identify ways to raise your self-esteem
Take responsibility for decisions
Engage in strength building
Accept imitations
Identify talents
Work with a mentor
Set goals
Practice guided imagery
Use positive self-talk

39. Chapter Review Organizations can help workers raise their self-esteem
Workers need to feel:
Valuable
Competent
Secure
Empowered
Connected