1. NEGOTIATION PROCESS ACTIVE LISTENING INSTRUCTOR:
PROF.Dr. Azize ERGENELİ
SUNUM TARİHİ:14 MART 2007

2. WHAT IS LISTENING?
If you ask a group of people to give a one word description of listening, some would say hearing.

3. BUT LISTENING…
Is following and understanding the sound---it is hearing with a purpose.

4. DEFINITION OF LISTENING
The process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken and/or nonverbal messages; to hear something with thoughtful attention

5. Listening vs. Hearing Hearing- physical process; natural; passive
Listening- physical & mental process; active; learned process; a skill
Listening is hard!
You must choose to participate in the process of listening.

6. Listening is a conscious activity based on three basic skills:
1) Attitude
2) Attention
3) Adjustment

7. Strive to pay Attention
1)Attitude
Maintain a constructive Attitude
2)Attention
Strive to pay Attention
3)Adjustment
Cultivate a capacity for Adjustment

8. Empathy
What is it:
reflection of content and feeling at a deeper level
Purpose:
To try and get an understanding of what may be deeper feelings

9. HERE IS AN EXAMPLE OF HOW EMPATHIC LISTENING DIFFERS FROM THE OTHER TYPES OF LISTENING… A computer instructor explains with enthusiasm how to use a new word processing program

10. Focuses on the Program
She certainly enjoys teaching this word processing program.
I think she would enjoy teaching any subject.
She seems very impressed with the usefulness of this new version.

11. Focuses on Person her feelings about teaching
the importance to her of teaching this particular program
her evaluation of the program

12. Empathizing
Empathizing does not mean you need to agree with your partner
Empathizing does not mean you need to give in to your partner
Empathizing means you do not dismiss what your partner says as ridiculous or silly.

13. It is easy to know when you are being empathic because:
1. Your body language and tone match
2. Your tone and your feelings match
3. You are focused on what your partner is saying and meaning.

14. Listening is needed everywhere…
Listening skills form the basis of:
Continued learning
Teamwork skills
Management skills
Negotiation skills
Emotional intelligence

15. … But not practiced effectively
70% of all communication is
Misunderstood
Misinterpreted
Rejected
Distorted
Not heard

16. Listening is an active process that has three basic steps.
Hearing
Understanding
Judging

17. TYPES OF LISTENING 2. Selective listening. 3. Active listening
1. Inactive listening.
2. Selective listening.
3. Active listening
4. Reflective Listening

18. Active Listening

19. WHAT IS ACTIVE LISTENING?
A way of listening and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding.
A way of paying attention to other people that can make them feel that you are hearing them
This type of listening is called active because it requires certain behaviors of the listener.

20. WHY LISTEN ACTIVELY?
Our brain works four times the speed that someone can speak. You have to actively focus on listening so that your mind doesn’t wander.
It enriches you and those around you, and guides other areas of your life.
It can build trust and respect between people, and prevent misunderstandings that can lead to conflict, frustration or hurt feelings.
While listening to other people’s point of view, you may just learn something new and fascinating!

21. Do you know these? We listen at 125-250 wpm, think at 1000-3000 wpm
75% of the time we are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful
20% of the time, we remember what we hear
More than 35% of businesses think listening is a top skill for success
Less than 2% of people have had formal education with listening

22. BENEFITS OF ACTIVE LISTENING
It forces people to listen attentively to others.
It tends to open people up, to get them to say more.
Shows empathy
Builds relationships

23. The Main Goals to Active Listening
Maximize your understanding of the other’s perspective
Minimize their defensiveness (and your own, too)

24. KEY CONCEPTS OF ACTIVE LISTENING
1. Display involvement in what the person is saying
2. Carefully observe the person speaking
3. Resist distractions
4. Try to stay focused on what is being said
5. Ask for clarification of anything that you do not fully understand
6. Delay making judgments about what is said.

25. Active listeners speak 30% of the time and listen 70% of the time
Active listeners speak 30% of the time and listen 70% of the time. Sometimes, we have to try hard not to interrupt – the only acceptable reason is to clarify or confirm what has been said.

26. Why is active listening difficult?
When people are preoccupied with current life stresses or difficult situations, it is hard for them to listen.
Anxiety can make it hard to listen.
Being angry at the person who is talking also makes it hard to listen.
Having an idea in mind of what a person “should do” makes it hard to listen to that person's point of view.

27. ACTIVE LISTENING BARRIERS
EXTERNAL BARRIERS
INTERNAL BARRIERS
Internal Barriers Within The Listener
Internal Barriers Within The Speaker

28. External Barriers
noises
clutter
other interruptions

29. Internal Barriers Within the Listener
Comparing
Personal Experience
Automatic Talking
Mind-Reading
Judging
Day Dreaming
Perceptual Errors

30. Barriers Within the Speaker
Expectations
Avoidance
Speaking in Code
Boundary

31. When to Use Active Listening
Inappropriate
Routine interactions
Physical emergencies
Appropriate
Organizational Crises
Conflict situations
Giving and receiving feedback
Brainstorming, problem solving
Seeking peers’ cooperation

32. STEPS OF ACTIVE LISTENING
2) Question
3) Reflect-Paraphrase
4) Agree

33. Step 1: Listen To Feelings As Well As Words Focus on Speaker
Words – Emotions -- Implications
Focus on Speaker
Don’t plan, speak, or get distracted
What Is Speaker Talking About?
Topic? Speaker? Listener? Others?
Look At Speaker
Use Verbal & Non-Verbal Encouragers

34. Opening door to good conversation shows an interest…
Opening door to good conversation shows an interest…. But it must be done sincerely, without judgment.
1) Verbal&non-verbal encourages
2) Non-verbal behavior

35. 1 ) Encouragement Convey interest and Keep the person talking.
Concentrate attention upon the speaker
Don’t agree or disagree. Use noncommittal words in a positive tone of voice.
Repeat one or two words of the person's previous statement.
Be aware of your body language!
Use varying voice intonations

36. Use varying voice intonations
“I see”
“Right”
“Uh huh”…
“Okay”
“Sure”
“Yeah”
“Yes”
“Wow”
“Really?”

37. 2)Non-Verbal Behavior Non-Verbal Active Listening Techniques:
Maintaining appropriate eye contact with the interviewee.
Occasionally nodding affirmatively to display understanding and interest.
Using expectant pauses to indicate to the interviewee that more is expected

38. The various forms of NVC
touch
sound
smell
timing and speed of delivery of speech
proximity
posture
dress
eye contact
gestures
facial expressions
use of silence

39. Communication through Eyes

40. 2.Question 3 Purposes Demonstrates you are listening
Gather information
Clarification
When you asked some questions:
Show interest
Encourage more explanation
Keep the person talking
Ask questions but not too many

41. Types of Questions 1) YES/NO QUESTIONS 2) OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS
3)PROBING OR FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS
4) LEADING QUESTIONS

42. 1)YES/NO QUESTIONS(Closed questions)
This type of question involves asking a question that requires only a "YES" or "NO" response

43. 2)OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS:
Observation: "What happened?"
Meaning: "What do you mean?"
Affect: "How do you feel?"
Motive: "What do you want?"
Action: "What will you do?"

44. 3)PROBING/FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS
Asking another question to clarify or obtain further information about a interviewee’s response.

45. 4)LEADING QUESTIONS Phrased to indicate a preferred response
Indicates the auditor asking the question isn’t objective

46. Other Questioning Tips
Avoid asking multiple questions at once.
Generally, it’s best to start with open questions
Best questions are short, clear, objective.
Ask questions in logical order.
Allow for quiet, thinking time.
Limit why-questions.
Take notes.

47. Step 3: Reflect-Paraphrase
In that step we will use another techniques for active listening;
Reflecting
Reframing
Paraphrasing
Acknowleding
Summarizing

48. REFLECTING
Reflect What Is Said (In your words)
Reflect Feelings

49. REFLECTING WHAT IS SAID

50. REFLECTING FEELINGS
Someone may say: “Don’t worry. I’m fine” (when she actually looks very upset)… Reflecting, you say
“You say you’re OK, but by the tone of your voice, you seem upset, correct?”

51. “Seems like you had a fun time, right? OR
Act like a mirror and reflect feelings that you see and hear. This is particularly useful when the person’s tone of voice or gestures don’t match the person’s words.
OR just as a check…
“Seems like you had a fun time, right? OR
“I sense you’ve become worried. Is that so?”
Hold a “mirror” up to the other person – describing how they look or act….

52. 2.REFRAMING Why You Do It? How You Do It?
to help the other person see their concerns in a new light
to broaden the meaning of an issue to identify needs or interests
to diffuse negative feelings
to establish the focus for resolution
How You Do It?
recognize underlying needs
re-word concerns from negative → neutral/positive past → future; problem → opportunity; interpersonal → system rights/wrongs → impacts positions → interests singular → multiple

53. REFRAMING(cont.)
Concern: “She always talks to everyone else but me when there is a problem.”
Reframe: “It sounds as if you would like more direct communication to resolve concerns.”

54. 3.PARAPHASING PARAPHRASE the speaker to acknowledge the story and capture the content.
EXAMPLE: “Let’s see if I got this right. You’re upset because you think we’re going off in the wrong direction and you want to clarify our objective before we write this assignment. Is that right”
When you get a clue about why the person is feeling as he or she does, put the message into your own words:

55. CAUTION: Don’t parrot back; be sure to put the message in your own words – that’s active listening.

56. 4. ACKNOWLEDING FEELINGS
Problem Solving Might Not Work In the Face of Strong Feelings
FEELINGS
Problem Solving
Acknowledge
Feelings May Need Acknowledgement Before Effective Problem Solving
Kindergarten story – son it’s the law

57. 5.SUMMARIZE Why You Do It? to review progress
to pull together important ideas and information
to establish a foundation for further discussion
How You Do It?
restate the central ideas and feelings you have heard
Example: “Let’s see if I have a clear understanding of
your experience at this point…”
“So basically what is most important to you is…”

58. Step 4: Agree Get Speaker’s Consent to Your Reframing
Speaker Has Been Heard and Knows It!
Solution Is Near!

59. Remember that the objective of all of this is increase understanding of the other’s point of view, not necessarily to agree with it or support it.

60. “A good listener tries to understand thoroughly what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but before he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with.”
Kenneth A. WELLS

61. Are You a Good Listener?
Do you frequently think of other things when others are talking to you?
Do you doodle, shuffle papers, look at the clock or out the window, read the newspaper,or watch TV?
Do you silently argue with the talker?
Do you only selectively hear ideas that fit your beliefs?
Do you feel most people have little to talk about that is interesting or important?
Do you listen passively without any facial expressions?
Do you frequently interrupt others as they are speaking?
Do you complete sentences or ideas for people when they pause to think?
Do you silently criticize characteristics of the speaker: voice, looks, manner of speaking?
Do you have to ask people to repeat what they said because you have forgotten?

62. ACTIVE LISTENERS Be there Listen carefully to the person
Accept the person and his/her feelings
Stay with the other person's point of view without becoming that person
Trust the person enough to keep out of it

63. ACTIVE LISTENING &NEGOTIATION
Active listening is important for identifying and creating negotiating goals, because listening helps to orient the negotiator to the environment.

64. Because people do not learn much while they are talking, negotiators should attempt to talk less than 50% of time.

65. In negotiation, there are FOUR major reasons to listen: 1
In negotiation, there are FOUR major reasons to listen: 1.To learn the other side’s proposals and strengths; 2.To discover the needs of constituents and teammates 3.To discern subtle position changes and openings; and 4.To show other side that their proposals are understood.

66. CONCLUSION
Listening is a critical communication skill for managers and consultants, as well as for all of us in our personal lives.
You can't negotiate effectively until you understand what the other person wants.
Active listening, is crucial to achieving your ultimate communication objectives.
Active listening is a skill that, like other communication skills, must be developed .
By practicing you can develop these skills.