1. Dr. Diane DeBacker Deputy Commissioner Kansas State Department of Education

2. “A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D. or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J-O-B.” --Attributed to Fats Domino-- American pianist and singer

3. OccupationTotal Job Openings 2006-2016 Registered nurses1,001,000 Nursing aides, orderlies and attendants393,000 Licensed practical and licensed vocational nurses 309,000 Automotive service technicians and mechanics 265,000 Computer support specialists242,000 Preschool teachers, except special education187,000 Hairdressers, hairstylists and cosmetologists151,000 Real estate agents115,000 Welders, cutters, solderers and brazers107,000 Fitness trainers and aerobics instructors107,000

4. OccupationTotal Job Openings 2006-2016 Elementary school teachers, except special education 545,000 Accountants and auditors450,000 Secondary school teachers, except special and vocational education 368,000 Computer software engineers, applications300,000 Computer systems analysts280,000 Middle school teachers, except special and vocational education 217,000 Network systems and data communications analysts 193,000 Securities, commodities and financial services sales agents 161,000 Network and computer systems administrators154,000 Construction managers152,000

5. OccupationTotal Job Openings 2006-2016 Postsecondary teachers662,000 Lawyers288,000 Doctors and surgeons204,000 Clergy130,000 Pharmacists95,000 Educational, vocational and school counselors 84,000 Physical therapists68,000 Mental health and substance abuse social workers 62,000 Rehabilitation counselors60,000 Mental health counselors50,000

6.  I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.  I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.  Receive a plague for Salesperson of the Year.  Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.  Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.

7.  Marketing tool – for applicant  Screening tool – for employer  Purpose: to get you an interview  First impression of you  Professional looking  Free of errors  3-4 pages long, printed single-sided  Average time human resources personnel review resumes – 20-30 seconds!

8. Dos and Don'ts of Resume Writing DO’sDon’t‘s Use a professional layout style or template. Make up the layout as you go along. Include a footer with your name, contact number and page number. Include a photo or graphics. Confidently represent your academic, employment and extra-curricular achievements. Make false statements about your work history, academic results or residency status. Include meaningful details in your work history, e.g. "Commended by Management for polite and efficient customer service". Write vague statements in your work history about your duties, e.g. "Served customers". Tailor the content to prove how well you fulfill the job selection criteria. Use the same version of your resume for every job application.

9.  Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.  Marital status: Single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.  I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.  I am loyal to my employer at all costs… Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.  I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.

10. Paid work Volunteer positions Extracurricular activities Leadership roles Internships

11. Free writing. Don't worry about the wording of your paragraphs at this point. Describe accomplishments as well as duties. For now, use whatever language you want. You’ll clean up the language later.

12.  What are your greatest strengths?  How can you demonstrate those strengths?  Employers value certain qualities ◦ team player ◦ good communication skills ◦ leadership abilities  What are the requirements and needs of this particular industry, this particular employer, and this particular job?  You may want to create somewhat different resumes for different jobs.

13. Name & AddressObjective/Keywords/SummaryEducationExperienceActivities/Volunteer Work/InterestsSkillsReferences

14.  Leave plenty of white space on your resume.  Emphasize job titles by boldfacing them.  Place the most important information closer to the top of your resume.  Use descriptive category headings such as "Counseling and Tutoring Experience" or "Leadership Experience“.  Limit to 3-4 pages if possible.  Use 8 1/2" x 11" white, off-white or very light- gray bond paper. Do not use colored paper.  Proofread carefully; have someone review it for you.

15.  Personal interests: Donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.  Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.  Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as job- hopping. I have never quit a job.  Marital status: Often. Children: Various.  Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 a.m. every morning. Could not work under those conditions.

16. Highlight your qualificationsHighlight your accomplishmentsExplain why there are gaps in your work history (if any)Express interest in the position

17. Strong first paragraph, explaining why you’re perfect for the position Second paragraph – briefly describe your work experience and how it relates to the position Limited or no work experience? Highlight your volunteer activities, leadership opportunities, community involvement Be honest

18. Close your letter with a strong paragraph that briefly summarizes your strengths. Say thank you.Sound confident.

19.  My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.  I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.  It’s best for employers that I not work with people.  The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.

20.  Let’s meet, so you can ooh and ahh over my experience.  You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.  Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.  Finished eighth in my class of ten.  References: None. I’ve left a path of destruction behind me.

21. Research the company. Take notes. Memorize important facts. Dedicate one night prior to the interview to a mock Q & A. Bring a pen, a notebook, breath mints, a comb, an umbrella and some tissues. Bring copies of your resume. Be early.

22. 1. "What are your strengths and weaknesses?“ 2. "Why did you leave your last position?“ 3. "Can you describe a previous work situation in which you... ?“ 4. "What is your ideal work environment?“ 5. "How do you handle mistakes?“ 6. "What is your most notable accomplishment?"

23. Asking questions shows that you're interested in the job. It also gives you a chance to show how knowledgeable you are about the position and the industry. Most important, it lets you highlight why you're the perfect candidate. You have to choose your questions carefully, though, depending on who's doing the interviewing. There are certain questions you should never ask early in the interview process. Don't ask about salary, vacation, 401(k) or anything else that might make you seem more interested in the compensation than the company.

24. 1. Layoffs are happening all around me. How can I show my boss that I’m an asset? ◦ Stay visible ◦ Volunteer to lead special projects ◦ Mentor new staff 2. Is it suicide to ask for a well-deserved promotion now? ◦ No, but be realistic 3. If I take a lesser job to get back on my feet, will I ever regain the career success I once had? ◦ Having somewhere to go and something to do is important for emotional well being ◦ Get humble; be willing to do more for less to be a top earner in the future

25. 4. I’ve been offered a position at another company. How can I tell if it’s a risky move? ◦ Health care and education have traditionally been recession-proof 5. My job was eliminated. Can I still ask my old boss for a reference? ◦ Don’t burn any bridges 6. What’s the best way to market myself in this economy? ◦ Highlight your skills instead of your previous title or position

26. 7. What are the new do’s and don’ts of interviewing? ◦ Research the company ◦ Bring visuals ◦ Make a personal connection ◦ Don’t use the interview as therapy ◦ Don’t appear overconfident 8. Should I offer up my current salary in an interview? ◦ No 9. Should I look for another job while I still have my current one? ◦ Experts advise good employees to sit tight & weather the storm

27.  Job Content  Salary ◦ Base Salary ◦ Commission ◦ Bonuses ◦ Projected Salary Increases  Benefits ◦ Vacation Leave ◦ Sick Leave ◦ Health Insurance ◦ Life Insurance ◦ 401K ◦ Pension Plan ◦ Stock Options

28.  Hours and travel  Work environment  Flexibility and company culture  Promotion and growth opportunities  Your personal circumstances  What does your gut tell you?

29. Following is an actual job application that this 75 year-old senior citizen submitted to WalMart in California.

30. Do you have any special skills? Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment. May we contact your current employer? If I had one, would I be here? Do you have any physical conditions that would prohibit you from lifting up to 50 lbs.? Of what? Do you have a car? I think the more appropriate question here would be, ‘Do you have a car that runs?’ Have you received any special awards or recognition? I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

31. Do you smoke? On the job – no! On my breaks – yes! What would you like to be doing in five years? Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blond supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now. Nearest relative? 7 miles. Do you certify that the above is true and complete to the best of your knowledge? Oh yes, absolutely.

32. Yes, because he was funny!