1. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved. 14-1 Chapter Fourteen l Remarriage and Stepfamilies

2. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-2 The Incomplete Institution l Stepparents have few legal rights concerning stepchildren l Working to create a coherent family life l Stepfamilies create situations where taken-for-granted rules do not apply l Must create their own rules and shared meanings l Institution building is difficult work and can take a toll on stepfamilies

3. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-3 The Demography of Remarriage and Stepfamilies l Declining marriage rates l Only 2/3 women and 3/4 men will remarry after divorcing l Remarriage Rates l Younger women are more likely to remarry than those that married later in life l Women with three or more children less likely to remarry l Remarriage more likely among non-Hispanic whites than Hispanics or African Americans

4. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-4 The Demography of Remarriage and Stepfamilies l Divorce rates among the remarried l More likely to end in divorce than first marriages – especially in first years l Selection effect l Less likely to tolerate problems after first divorce l Persons in remarriage may be less skilled at choosing compatible partner or holding a marriage together

5. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-5 The Demography of Remarriage and Stepfamilies l Increasing Cohabitation l Cohabitation has been an alternate choice of divorced people l Cohabitation rates for divorced people has risen l Increase in cohabitation has more than made up for the lack of remarriage rates among divorced l Substituting cohabitation for remarriage

6. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-6 Redefining Stepfamilies l Broadening definition of stepfamily to include cohabitation l Two adults are married or cohabitating l At least one adult has a child present from a previous marriage or relationship l Definition allows for parents never marrying l One-fourth of stepfamilies are cohabiting and fit this definition l Common path for African-American families

7. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-7 The New Extended Family l Taken for granted in Western nations that a conjugal family live in the same household until children are grown l Childbearing outside marriage, increase in divorces and remarriage have made this less likely l Divorce splits conjugal unit into two households

8. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-8 The New Extended Family l Stepfamily = household that contains a parent with children from a previous union and that parent’s current partner l Children from previous union are stepchildren l Parent’s current partner is stepparent l Can be even more complex, if more than one divorce has occurred

9. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-9 The New Extended Family l Remarriage Chains = a path that links individuals across households through the ties of disrupted unions and new unions l These serve as support and exchange networks l System depends on cooperation of all involved and can be easily disrupted

10. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-10 Doing the Work of Kinship l Blood relatives = people who share common ancestors: parents and children, aunts and uncles, nephews and nieces, grandparents and grandchildren l Bilateral kinship = a system in which descent is reckoned through both parents’ lines

11. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-11 Doing the Work of Kinship l In American kinship, people must establish a relationship to consider each other kin l Seeing them regularly, giving or receiving help, corresponding – repeated connections l To be a relative you must do the work of creating and maintaining kinships

12. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-12 Building Stepfamilies l After divorce, single parents and their children develop coping skills to live differently l Stepparent comes into the new family system l Difficulty adjusting to this new person l Great variation in the types of stepfamilies being formed

13. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-13 The Transitional Period l The first 2 to 4 years l Stepparent goes from being polite outsider to being “warm friend” l Young children usually accept stepparent l Older children, adolescents may resist and distance themselves

14. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-14 The Transitional Period l Stepparent as Polite Outsider l Don’t usually try to discipline l Refrain from acting like parent l Seek to be a warm and affectionate adult role model figure l Common practice to call them by their first name

15. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-15 The Transitional Period l Adjustment of the Stepchildren l Increased behavior problems may occur at the beginning l Key factor is the age of the child when stepparent joins family l Younger children more accepting of parent- like relationship l Older children more likely to resist a parentlike relationship l Most difficult time to start a stepfamily seems to be when children are in early adolescence

16. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-16 The Transitional Period l For a stepfamily to be successful, a remarried couple must build a boundary around themselves and work together to solve problems l Their own marriage must be the dominant relationship

17. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-17 The Stabilization Period l Stepparent Role includes l Warmth toward and support of the stepchildren l Little disciplining of the stepchildren l Support for the biological parent l Their role is between a parent and a trusted friend = intimate outsider l Some children may experience a “sleeper effect” – coming to terms with parent’s divorce as they grow older

18. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-18 Differences Between Role of Stepmother and Stepfather l Being a stepmother can be harder than being a stepfather l History of the “Wicked Stepmother” l In typical remarriage chains today, children live with mother and stepfather l Stepmothers must establish relationship during visits l Stepfathers compete with noncustodial fathers who may not see children very often

19. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-19 Racial-Ethnic Differences l Low-income and racial-ethnic families face a different set of issues l Parenting by mother and grandmother l Conflicts about raising children - stepfather may be asked to take sides l Makes it difficult for a stepfather to remain in an intergenerational family system for very long

20. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-20 Effects of Remarriage on Children l Income is raised l Another adult is around to help l Well-being of children in stepfamilies is no better, on average, than well- being of children in divorced, single- parent households

21. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-21 Behavior Problems l Children in single-mother or remarried families do not do as well as those in nondivorced households l 25-30% of single-mother and divorced households reported behavior problems, l 10% or less of nondivorced households reported behavior problems with children

22. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-22 Age at Leaving Home l Children, especially girls, in stepparent families leave households at an earlier age than children in single-parent or two-parent households l They leave to marry or establish independent households

23. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-23 Primacy of the Private Family l The triumph of the private family is that it does still exist, regardless of changes in divorce patterns over time l Marriage is now primarily an instrument of individual fulfillment l Personal growth and romantic love

24. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-24 Primacy of the Private Family l Changing nature of marriage has been an advance for women l Ability to divorce unilaterally l Protections against husband dominance l Loss of economic protection l Riskier to be a homemaker, withdraw from the labor market

25. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-25 Primacy of the Private Family l Law assumes men and women are economic equals, when that is not the case l Women’s wages have increased, but they are still not the same as men’s l Women as single parents usually suffer a steep drop in standard of living

26. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-26 Primacy of the Private Family l Men are not winners in every divorce l Men who gain the most are those who care least about their children l Men who pay the highest price are those who care most about being a daily part of their children’s lives

27. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-27 Primacy of the Private Family l What should women and men do to protect themselves in our current system? l Women should develop good labor market skills and maintain a connection to the labor market throughout the childrearing years l Men should spend a considerable amount of time in childrearing

28. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-28 New Kinship Ties l Cohabitation, divorce, nonmarital childbearing and remarriage are altering kinship in two fundamental ways l Breaking the correspondence between family and household l Importance of created kinship = ties which people actively construct l Different from assigned kinship = ties that people automatically acquire at birth or through first marriage

29. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-29 New Kinship Ties l Creation of stepfamilies adds a number of other potential kinship positions l Challenge of created kinship l Kinship ties that can be created through action can be lost through inaction l More likely to change over time

30. McGraw-Hill © 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved 14-30 Impact on Children l Most children who experience some disruption or lack of well-being through divorce or remarriage do not have serious long-lasting effects l There is not enough research to draw a definitive conclusion