1. Human Communication: The Basic Course Twelfth Edition
PowerPoint™ Presentations prepared by:
Naomi Young
University of California, San Diego
Joseph A. DeVito
Hunter College of the City University of New York

2. Chapter Eight: Relationship Stages and Theories
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3. Chapter Goals Learn About:
The ways in which relationships develop and the stages they go through
The theories that attempt to account for our relationship decisions and choices
The “dark side” of relationships
Learn To:
Communicate in appropriate ways to your relationship stage
Assess your own relationship behavior and make adjustments as needed
Deal with relationship jealousy and violence in productive ways
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4. Interpersonal Relationship –Advantages
Lessen loneliness
Learn about yourself
Contribute to physical
And emotional health
Maximize pleasure, minimize pain
Provides stimulation
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5. Disadvantages of Interpersonal Relationships
Pressure for self-disclosure
Increased obligations to others
Potential for abandonment
Difficulty in dissolution
Possible loss of relationship
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6. Relationship Stages Contact Involvement Intimacy Deterioration Repair
Dissolution
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7. Relationship Stages
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8. Contact Perceptual contact Interactional contact
Qualities such as friendliness, warmth, openness, and dynamism are revealed at the contact stage
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9. Involvement Development of mutuality and connectedness
Partner ‘testing’
Self-disclosure
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10. Intimacy Express thoughts and feelings
Commit yourself further to that person
Becomes best friend, lover, or companion
Communication more personalized, synchronized
Increase affiliate cues
Duchenne smiles
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11. Deterioration Poor communication Third-Party relationships
Relationship changes
Sex- and work- related problems
Financial difficulties
Beliefs about relationship
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12. Phases of Deterioration
Interpersonal separation
Social/public separation
Avoidance
Definition change of relationship
“Good-bye” phase
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13. Repair Recognize problem Conflict resolution Pose solutions
Affirm each other
Integrate solutions
Risk giving
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14. Dissolution Break loneliness-depression cycle Take time out
Bolster self-esteem
Seek support of others
Avoid repeating negative patterns
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15. Relationship Theories
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16. Attraction Theory Similarity Proximity Reinforcement
Physical Attractiveness - greater sense of familiarity with attractive people
Culture influences attractiveness
Personality – influences attractiveness; pleasantness preferred
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17. Relationship Rules Theory
Friendship Rules
Romantic Rules
Family Rules
Workplace Rules
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18. Relationship Dialectics Theory
Argues that people in a relationship experience dynamic tensions between pairs of opposing motives or desires
Closedness and openness
Autonomy and connection
Novelty and predictability
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19. Social Penetration Theory
Describes relationships in terms of the number of topics that people talk about and their degree of “personalness”
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20. Two Other Theories Social Exchange Theory Equity Theory
Claims that you develop relationships that will enable you to maximize your profits
Rewards
Costs
Profits
Equity Theory
Claims that people develop and maintain relationships in which the ratio of your rewards relative to your costs is approximately equal to your partner’s
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21. The “Dark Side” of Interpersonal Relationships
Jealousy/envy
Cognitive jealousy
Emotional jealousy
Behavioral jealousy
Relationship violence
Physical abuse
Verbal or emotional
Sexual
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22. The Alternatives to Violence
Fairness in conflict resolution
Safe and open communication
Mutual respect and affirmation
Accountability
Fair distribution of responsibilities
Trust and respect in sexual relations
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23. Dealing With Violence If partner is violent:
Realize that you’re not alone.
Realize that you are not at fault
Plan for your safety
Know your resources
If you are the violent partner:
Realize that you too are not alone
Know that you can change
Own your own behaviors; take responsibility
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24. Knowledge to Action :
How can understanding these stages improve your relationship development or dissolution?
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