1. Hey kids!!!!!!! Then click here You want have a big “BOOM” from a firework?? How about a nuclear explosion??

2. Fission Fireworks© is guaranteed to: A fun way to have your own nuclear explosion 100% guaranteed to blow up in the communities' face Uses a fission bomb House, life, car, health, and grandma insurance is recommended Use only on 4 th of July Watch out for nuclear fallout

3. Fission Fireworks are perfect for: Destroying the community Killing people Ravaging the landscape Blowing up cities Turning people green Getting cancer Committing suicide

4. Fun Traits of Fission Fireworks© New room in the ER YOU CAN TURN GREEN!!!!!! Never grows old Side effects lasts forever MORE POWERFUL THAN CHUCK NORRIS ROUNDHOUSE KICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CREATES THE BIGGEST BOOM THERE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5. If you buy now … We’ll give you a free personal jet to escape from the explosion

6. Also We’ll… Give you two boxes of Fission Fireworks for the price of one Only for $15.99

7. That is 50 Fission Fireworks for you to set off OMG OMG Fission Fireworks

8. See the wimpy firework explosion

9. Compare that explosion to this big explosion in the sky

10. Here’s some of our satisfied customers Fission Fireworks blew up my home and turned my cat into a radioactive cat thingy

11. Fission Firework’s nuclear fallout turned us into green radioactive cats!! BILLY HELP US!!!!!!!

12. Look It’s the President Fission Fireworks are declared illegal for violating the Nuclear Treaty of 1867

13. Awwww…He doesn’t mean it

14. Look it is almost dead people We almost died when someone in our neighborhood set off a few Fission Fireworks © Waa Waa Baby needs milk Shut up Baby

15. So here’s the satisfied customers: Billy Billy’s radioactive cat thingies that are mauling men The President who is probably an imposter Almost Dead People actors standing in a fake but dramatic background that certainly don’t need medical help

16. Just remember Fission Fireworks creates the biggest BOOM there is

18. We Aren’t Responsible for any of the following: Deaths Random Deaths All types of Radiation Sicknesses Turning Green Turning Any color Growing extra body parts Viral Infections Bacterial Infections Flu Swine Flu Bird Flu Human Flu Black Plague Bubonic Plague Pneumonic Plague Plague Tuberculosis Salmonella E. Coli Blood Poisoning Strep Throat Bacterial Pneumonia Liver Poisoning Cancer All types of Cancer AIDS/HIV Increase of Grades Decrease of Grades Change of Sex Becoming a host of a Discovery TV Show Becoming a host of any TV show Feeling “High” Feeling “Drunk” Back Pain Body Pain Migraines Becoming a snooty man Becoming a dirty man