1. Marriage in Islam Presentsed at The Companion Ikorodu Usrah
On Sunday, 4th April 2010 By
Alhaja Monsurat Oloruntoyin Alli-Oluwafuyi

2. Areas of Discussion Brief Definition Basis Reasons/Purpose
Establishing a Marriage
Nurturing the Marriage
Rules for a Happy Marriage
Inclusiveness of Divorce in the Marriage
Conclusion

3. Definition of Marriage in Islam
Marriage in Islam is a simple, legal agreement in which either partner is free to include conditions,
The girl child is not forced to marry against her will but her parents can suggest young men they think may be suitable for her.

4. Basis of Marriage in Islam
Divine – ordained by Allah as
Q4:1 …Allah created you from Adam and from him created Hawwa’ his wife, and from the two created many men and women ………..
Q4:3 And if you fear that ………. then marry (other) women of your choice, two, three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly, ……….. then only one………… That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.
Hadith – The practice of the Prophet
‘Marriage is one of our institutions, whoever shuns it, is not one of us.’
Hence, it is well regulated and guided.

5. Reasons for Marriage in Islam
Procreation
Fulfillment of the Natural Urge
A Healthy Relaxation
A Comfortable Home
Social Importance – building a strong Islamic community that serves as ground for the bliss of this world and the working towards achieving the bliss of the hereafter
But with its burden and risks.

6. Establishing a Marriage in Islam
Marriage is well guided in Islam
It is like constructing a building, hence the need to establish:
What is desired from the marriage and
Values and goals, based on
Consideration for the legitimate needs of the other partner.
The coming together of the two people must be based on:
The Love of Allah and
Conscious sensible soul searching and analysis.
The Prophet advises that the strongest of points of beauty, wealth, family nobility and piety, is piety.
Duties of the parties are well spelt out:
Husband Q4:34
To provide Accommodation, food, clothing and leadership.
Wife Q4:34
To obey the husband devoutly, guard her chastity and her husband properties.
They both have the duty to take care of their children

7. Nurturing the Marriage - A good Muslim marriage:
Should show welcome – good reception to the spouse and guests.
Possess the attitude of seeking out the best way at all times.
Possess a high level of patience and tolerance
Be nurtured with a good sense of humor
Learn to communicate effectively.
The man should cultivate good listening skills
The woman is known to listen hard and pick all sorts of signals and body language
Both must have true forgiving minds Q39:53 and always remember Q12:53
B e based on art of togetherness as couples should:
Build the home together
Organise their life together
Avoid nagging as the two are involved
Think and be compassionate in their criticism
Trust one another unconditionally
Wives are to be treated gently – Q3:159

8. Rules for a Happy Marriage in Islam
Tell each other you love each other
Don’t be angry at the same time
Criticize lovingly
Never bring up old mistakes
Never go to sleep with an unsettled argument
Neglect the world but not each other
Pray together at least once a day
Remember that behind every successful spouse there is an exhausted partner
Remember it takes two to quarrel
Admit when you are wrong
Say something kind/complimentary at least once in a day
Do not stay behind entering the bed more than 10minutes after your spouse
Listen when your partner is speaking
Your spouse is more important than the TV program, match, video or your work
Notice new dress or hairdo/cut of you spouse
Remember anniversaries
Appreciate your partner for his/her gifts/efforts
Observe/notice your spouse’s tire looks and respond appropriately
Never run tour partner down or criticize him/her in the public
Never upset or bring the worst out of your spouse in the public

9. Inclusiveness of Divorce in any Marriage
Divorce is a result of incessant conflicts perhaps un-resolved
Whereas there is bound to be some elements of disagreement, couples should watch that they do cot degenerate to un-resolved or un-resolvable disputes that may eventually lead to divorce
Steps of conflict resolutionin marriage in Islam are: Q4:34
Admonition
Bed/Food refusal
Light/symbolical beating (where useful)
Fear of Breach/Dissolution should be handled with care by the appointment of Arbitrators
One from his
One from hers
Both must wish for reconcilliation
Allah has promised to grant such a resolution Q4:35
Where divorcemust be, it must be honourably carried out Q 65:1,65:2-7.

10. Conclusion Allah decreed setting up of create in pairs
To complement each other in harmony
We should make it our jihad to create happy and fulfilled marriages
In the sight of Allah in whose hands lie our souls and rests our return
May everything we do be pleasing to Him and may he bless us and bring us to fulfillment, serenity and completion.