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Strengthening Connections between parents and children affected by substance abuse, HIV, and trauma Conference The Driskill Hotel Austin, Texas September 12, 2012 Tanji L. Donald, M.Ed. PCS Consultant and Trainer tanjineal@yahoo.com
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Welcome & Introduction Ice-Breaker Overview ◦ Childhood Abuse and Neglect ◦ Affects of SA & Trauma on the Father-Child Relationship Daniel’s Story ◦ Processing Grief & Loss Strategies and Interventions Resources
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A man who is participating fully in all aspects of their children’s lives emotionally, physically and financially. Fatherhood is defined by one’s expectations, personal beliefs, culture, and value system.
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Family History AbuseEmotionalPhysicalMentalSexualNeglect
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Lowered Self- Worth Depression Dysfunctional Family Environments PTSD Symptoms Legal Troubles Incarceration
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Separation and Reunification Instability Relapse Unresolved feelings and emotions Limited opportunities to re-establish father- child connections Loss of contact with child’s mom
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Lack of Knowledge Self-Care Skills Effective Discipline Practices Children’s Developmental Tasks Needs of Children
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Lack of Knowledge Problem Solving Skills Conflict Resolution Skills Social & Emotional Development Establishing, Implementing & Maintaining Routines
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Emotional Disconnection Between Parent & Child Caused by: Undeveloped Relationships Isolation Emotional Effects of Use & Withdrawal from Substances Difficulty Maintaining Trust
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Impulsive Behavior Lack of Internalized Image of Right and Wrong Frequently Seen as “Acting Out” Unhealthy, Maladaptive Roles in Family Unhealthy coping strategies
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Numbing – Don’t Feel Poor Self-Regulation Skills Difficulty to Calm and Self-Soothe Shame and Guilt Un-Grieved losses Boys – Speech, Behavior, Conduct Disorders (Reference – Brown University Newsletter)
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Maternal Facilitation Father’s Psychological Characteristics Gender Role Attitudes
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______, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
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Anger Bargaining Depression Denial Time Acceptance/ Adjustment
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Authenticity is the freedom and ability to live within a relationship at a high level of exposure and vulnerability Mutuality means that energy and interest flow back and forth between two people and is characterized by a dynamic, interactive sensitivity and responsiveness Empathy is the process by which disclosure and sharing on oneself leads to a heightened sense of self and understanding others. J.B. Miller
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Structure & Consistency Empathic & Nurturing Responses Personal Growth Coping Skills Re-parent Opportunities to Enhance Self-Esteem Allow Mistakes Praise/Acknowledgement Creativity & Fun
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Fathers Need Opportunities to Acknowledge the Impact of Substance Abuse and Trauma on Their Family Support in Developing a Positive Self- Image as a Parent Step-by-Step Instructions An Opportunity to Grieve
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Fathers Need To be Included in Family Assessments that Incorporate their Strengths & Competencies as well as their Parenting Issues Father Focused Age Appropriate Activities Parenting Education and Support Programs
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Handouts Websites www.helpguide.org/child abuse physical emotional sexual neglect.htm www.helpguide.org/child www.findtreatment.samhsa.gov www.findtreatment.samhsa.gov www.ct.gov/dph/lib/dph/hisr/pdf/building_healt hy_relationships.pdf www.ct.gov/dph/lib/dph/hisr/pdf/building_healt hy_relationships.pdf Access to free materials – www.fatherhoodproject.org www.ACF/healthymarriage.govwww.ACF/healthymarriage.gov
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