1. Communication 101

2. Objectives To consider verbal and non-verbal communication methods
To understand and practise effective listening skills
To communicate in clear, respectful and non-judgemental ways
To know when to seek advice

3. What is Communication?
The process of communication is what allows us to interact with other people; without it, we would be unable to share knowledge or experiences with anything outside of ourselves. Common forms of communication include speaking, writing, gestures, touch and broadcasting.

4. Verbal vs. Non-Verbal Can we communicate without words?
Voice attributes
What are they and how do they affect communication?
Physical attributes
What could be considered here and how do they affect communication?
The power of touch
What and when is OK?
Which is better, verbal or non verbal?

5. The Communication Equation
What you hear
Tone of voice
Vocal clarity
Verbal expressiveness % of the message
What you see or feel
Facial expression
Dress and grooming
Posture
Eye contact
Touch
Gesture % of the message
WORDS … % of the message!

6. Understanding Communication
We are going to consider:
The 2-Way communication process
Effective communication skills
Barriers to effective communication

7. Communication Skills Communication skills involve:
Listening to others (Receiving)
Asserting/ Expressing (Sending)
Barriers to communication can lead to misunderstanding and confusion

8. Communication

9. Effective Communication Skills
Eye contact & visible mouth
Body language
Silence
Checking
for understanding
Smiling face
Summarising
what has been said
Encouragement
to continue
Some questions

10. Barriers to Effective Communication
Language
Noise
Time
Distractions
Other people
Put downs
Too many questions
Distance
Discomfort with the topic
Disability
Lack of interest

11. The Art of Listening
“If we were supposed to talk more than listen, we would have been given two mouths and one ear.”
Mark Twain

12. Listening Skills Active listening Responding Paraphrasing
Asking questions for clarification
Mirroring the other person’s language

13. Active Listening 1. Restating
To show you are listening, repeat every so often what you think the person said — not by parroting, but by paraphrasing what you heard in your own words. For example, “Let’s see if I’m clear about this. . .”
2. Summarizing
Bring together the facts and pieces of the problem to check understanding — for example, “So it sounds to me as if . . .” Or, “Is that it?”
3. Minimal encouragers
Use brief, positive prompts to keep the conversation going and show you are listening — for example, “umm-hmmm,” “Oh?” “I understand,” “Then?” “And?”
4. Reflecting
Instead of just repeating, reflect the speaker’s words in terms of feelings — for example, “This seems really important to you. . .”

14. Active Listening 5. Giving feedback
Let the person know what your initial thoughts are on the situation. Share pertinent information, observations, insights, and experiences. Then listen carefully to confirm.
6. Emotion labeling
Putting feelings into words will often help a person to see things more objectively. To help the person begin, use “door openers” — for example, “I’m sensing that you’re feeling frustrated. . . worried. . . anxious. . .”
7. Probing
Ask questions to draw the person out and get deeper and more meaningful information — for example, “What do you think would happen if you. . .?”
8. Validation
Acknowledge the individual’s problems, issues, and feelings. Listen openly and with empathy, and respond in an interested way — for example, “I appreciate your willingness to talk about such a difficult issue. . .”

15. Active Listening 9. Effective pause
Deliberately pause at key points for emphasis. This will tell the person you are saying something that is very important to them.
10. Silence
Allow for comfortable silences to slow down the exchange. Give a person time to think as well as talk. Silence can also be very helpful in diffusing an unproductive interaction.
11. “I” messages
By using “I” in your statements, you focus on the problem not the person. An I-message lets the person know what you feel and why — for example, “I know you have a lot to say, but I need to. . .”

16. Active Listening 12. Redirecting
If someone is showing signs of being overly aggressive, agitated, or angry, this is the time to shift the discussion to another topic.
13. Consequences
Part of the feedback may involve talking about the possible consequences of inaction. Take your cues from what the person is saying — for example, “What happened the last time you stopped taking the medicine your doctor prescribed?”

17. Responding Responding checks to see if your perceptions are correct.
This is also a way to further communication.

18. Paraphrasing Paraphrasing is a skill used in responding.
It is a way for you to ensure that you are correctly understanding what the person is saying.
You re-word what the person is saying and ask if that’s what they’re saying.
This skill is very helpful when you want to:
1. let the client know that you are listening and understand what they are saying,
2. clarify confusing content,
3. highlight issues by stating them more concisely, and
4. check out the accuracy of your perceptions as the counselor

19. Asking Questions for Clarification
The four main types of questions are:
1. Leading Questions
For example, “Would you like to talk about it?” “What happened then?” Could you tell me more?”
2. Open-ended Questions
Use open-ended questions to expand the discussion — for example, lead with: “How? What? Where? Who? Which?”
3. Closed-ended Questions
Use closed ended questions to prompt for specifics — for example, lead with: “Is? Are? Do? Did? Can? Could? Would?”
4. Reflective Questions
Can help people understand more about what they said — for example, someone tells you, “I’m worried I won’t remember. . . ” Reflective Q: “It sounds like you would like some help remembering?”
Source: National Aging Information & Referral Support Center

20. Mirroring the Other Person’s Language
Mirroring body language is a way to bond and to build understanding. It is a powerful tool that we use instinctively without even being aware of it. The most obvious forms of mirroring are yawning and smiling. When you see someone yawn, or even if you just read the word “yawn”, you are likely to yawn immediately, or during next 30 seconds.

21. Communication Blockers
These roadblocks to communication can stop communication dead in its tracks:
1. “Why” questions. They tend to make people defensive. 2. Quick reassurance, saying things like, “Don’t worry about that.” 3. Advising — “I think the best thing for you is to move to assisted living.” 4. Digging for information and forcing someone to talk about something they would rather not talk about. 5. Patronizing — “You poor thing, I know just how you feel.” 6. Preaching — “You should. . .” Or, “You shouldn’t. . .” 7. Interrupting — Shows you aren’t interested in what someone is saying.

22. Individual Differences
What individual factors could affect the way a person “sends” or “receives” a message?
Is gender/ age a factor?
How can we adapt if we have a problem ourselves or
the other person seems to have a problem?

23. Cultural Diversity
What do we know about the communication styles of different cultures?
Consider verbal and non verbal, including dress constraints, language difficulties, taboos.

24. Group Processes
In groups there are obviously more people, so good communication skills are paramount.
Be mindful to practise:
Observing non verbal cues
Listening, responding, clarifying, paraphrasing and summarising
Identifying barriers to communication
Remember, silence is golden
AND
No one is perfect!

25. Constraints on Communication
Legal Obligations
Anti Discrimination
Privacy Laws
Code of Conduct of Organisation
Confidentiality and Gossip
Seeking Advice