1. THE MARRIAGE QUESTIONS ‘Dating, courtship and Marriage in a Christian setting’. Fred and Sally Olweny Education for Life-Kenya

2. THE Q’S What Vocations are there in Life? What is a Catholic Marriage About? Why get Married? When should I get married? Whom should I get married to? How should I plan for my marriage?

3. CALL IN ALL VOCATIONS ReligiousMarriedSingles PrayerPersonal and communal love, relationship with God Personal and family love, relationship with God…as for me and my house Personal relationship with God - witness CommunityLove relationship and support- community, church, world witness Love relationship with spouse& child, church, secular world- witness Love relationship with all. calls for more generosity, more voluntarism, participation in church ServiceGenerous concern for community and others – self giving Generous concern & self giving to spouse, children, relatives, church, country Volunteering to church, civic, etc. bring Christ to work place Poverty (handling money, whom do I depend on) Depend on God share with each other and wider community – Act of justice Depend on God – work to support/share finances with family and wider community Depend on God and sharing wealth with significant others and the wider community Chastity (handling sex)Love fraternally-God – Sisters-friends-world. No sex prophetic Love tenderly- God. spouse (sex-0grazing), till death prophetic Love tenderly- God and others. No sex Obedience ( handling power) Walk humbly-listen to holy spirit, scripture reading. congregation’s mission& charism prophetic obedience Co-operation team work, helping each other to fulfil dreams. Seeking God’s will Get involved in team work in parish, in civil. Obey laws. seek God’s will

4. OTHER QUESTIONS Do I need a man or a woman? Life before Dating? (Branding yourself for marriage). Influence of our current cultural set up and modernized society? What are our expectations in relationships? Effective Communication. Significance of sex and when should it start.

5. THE CHURCH’S TEACHING Def: Marriage is a matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman who are baptized, of mature age and with mutual consent establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life.( Until Death do us part)

6. EMPHASIZED ASPECTS IN MARRIAGE ASPECTS EXPLANATION A Covenant Unlike a contract covenant contains in it a forever reality between two parties. Marriage Bond: Marriage is primarily a relationship based on “conjugal pact, an irrevocable personal consent. no longer two but one (Mt19:6). Marriage is a Loving Relationship: Marriage is both a human and a divine reality. It’s where full conjugal love is taken up in to divine love, guided and enriched by the redemptive virtue of Christ and the church’s saving action. Marriage is an intimate union: Marriage is an intimate personal union of husband and wife. It entails sharing of all aspects of their human life. Personal relationship and an insitution Interpersonal relationship, Community of Life and love and social and institutional reality. Permanent and Demands Fidelity: Marriage is permanent and exclusive (monogamous). The goal of this covenant, by its nature, is the mutual welfare of the spouses (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) as well as openness to the procreation, welfare, and education of children

7. WHY GET MARRIED God created a helper for Adam. The Companionship role. Openness to Life-Procreation Good of the Spouses and the Good of Children Good of the Society

8. The Essential rights and Obligation of Marriage ( Canon 1055) Marriage is ordered towards:  The good of the spouses  Partnership of their whole life  Sacrament hence Permanent  Procreation and Education of Children

9. SOME CAUSES OF CONFLICT Money In-laws Sex Parenting Household Responsibilities Friends Irritable Habits Expectations Personality Conflicts Fait and Cultural Expressions

10. INGREDIENST IN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS L-LIFE I-INFATUATION F-FRIENDSHIP E-EXPLOITATION

11. LEVELS OF MOTIVATION IN DATING LEVEL ONE: CHILD LIKE REASONS LEVEL TWO: THE PRESSURE REASONS LEVEL THREE:THE ADULT REASONS

12. LEVEL TWO: THE PRESSURE REASONS  Belonging  Please Others  Seek Popularity  Avoid Shame  Reputation  Peer Pressure  Parental Pressure

13. LEVEL THREE:THE ADULT REASONS  Rational Thinking  Right of others  Responsibilities  Respect  Long-range goals  Awareness of Risks and Consequences  Promises and Commitments  Personal Moral Values

14. LEVEL ONE: CHILD LIKE REASONS  Feeling Good  Have fun  Seek Excitement  “Doing what comes naturally”  Being bored  Immediate Gratification

15. CHOOSING YOUR DATE: What is your criteria Physical Appearance Clothing Taste Fun, Sense of Humor Reputation Kind of Family Manners, Respectfulness Financial Status Personal Hygiene Popularity Athletic Ability Common Interest Faith, Religion Intellectual Ability Use of Drugs, Alcohol Build, Size, Weight Race, tribe or Nationality Honesty Interest in you Sexual Experience Age Level of Education Duration of Friendship Approval of Parents Music Taste Personality Kindness Thoughtfulness.