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Published byPaula Carson Modified over 9 years ago
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Pre-Marriage Discussion 1/15/2011
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Session 1 – Knowing God and His Will Session 2 – Group Discussion Session 3 – When The Time Comes Lunch Session 4 – We Love Each Other, What Could Possibly Go Wrong? Session 5 – Group Discussion Session 6 – What Now?
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Where are you today? How is your personal relationship with Him now? Does it need work? Do you know the Word of God? Will you study to show your self approved? Become a diligent workman unashamed to proclaim Him. Am I a servant now or self-focused?
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Word of God – does it encourage, forbid, or ignore? Godly counsel from authorities and those that know you well Circumstances Humility
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Bible begins and ends with a wedding – Jesus first miracle was at one – heading to a wedding feast “Not good for man to be alone” – Genesis Leave his father and mother join with his wife – Genesis/Matthew/Ephesians He who finds a wife finds a good thing – Proverbs Two are better than one and a three stand cord is not quickly broken – Ecclesiastes
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Being single allows you to be totally devoted to the Lord – 1 Corinthians 7 Not less of a person if not married Marriage seems to stop in heaven While most will marry, not all will or should (Paul –remain as I am?)
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What do those in authority say about your decision? What do those that know you best say about you or your decision? What do those that are more mature and experienced say to you about this decision?
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Really only two questions involved if marriage is in your future – Who and when Are you considering marriage for the right reasons? Is this the right time? Can you provide? Are you running away from something? Are you attempting to prove something to someone?
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Being willing to admit you made a mistake or you are not ready Being willing to listen to others that are older and wiser Not demanding your own way or timing Trusting God for direction and confirmation Better to be happily married for 40 years than miserably married for 50!
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Is your relationship with God growing? Are you seeking Him daily for wisdom and grace? Are you spending time in the Word of God? When facing major decisions: Consult the Word, your authorities, pay attention to the circumstances, and remain humble Step out in faith for you can’t steer a parked car!
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1. What is the most important attribute that I should be looking for in a future spouse? 2. What should a future spouse be looking for in me?
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What type of spirit is within that body? What is the commitment to the Lord? How mature is the person emotionally? How do they treat others, specifically their family? Do we have similar interests and goals? Are they selfish or self-less?
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Biblically – many ways to get a spouse Trade for them, capture them, slay their male family members, meet them on your wedding day as arranged by parents or older siblings, etc. In our day two primary ways – some sort of dating or some sort of courtship
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A guy and girl spending time together enjoying each others company without any intention of pursuing marriage or a deeper commitment. Often self focused and is noncommittal Morally dangerous, potential scars, begins a pattern of breaking relationships instead of creating enduring ones
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A guy and girl begin a relationship with the express purpose of pursing marriage The end goal is not just personal enjoyment, but seeking the Lord about spending the rest of your life with this person Still will not prevent hurts, immorality is still possible without effective guidelines Reinforces the lifelong concept of marriage
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Of our actions and how they impact others Guys – paying special attention to a young lady launches an entire series of thoughts that usually focus on marriage Girls – flirtations/clothing can give the wrong impression as to your character and desires
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Pray and observe Focus on life long traits not just physical attraction Kindness, servanthood, growing walk with God, spiritual or carnal Fruit production – Galatians 5:22-23 Include parents early on for wisdom and protection
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½ of all couples divorce now – including those in the Church Almost all of them said they loved each other and vowed to stay married until death Why?
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Lack of commitment to the Lord or backsliding Lack of commitment to the covenant of marriage thus allowing a back door exit An illusion of what married life was going to be like – two becoming one is a volatile process Entertaining thoughts that should have been taken captive
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Failure to realize the spiritual nature of marriage, its significance and the attacks against it Failure to recognize that help is needed, then being humble enough to seek it out While $, the physical relationship, children, etc. are often blamed, the underlying reasons are spiritual and so is the solution.
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$, in-laws, how much time is spent with family and friends, same friends or different? Vacations, child training, free time, hobbies, establishing a new home, home chores Hurts, wounds, forgiveness, sensitive, insensitive, anger, pouting, assigning motives Love and Respect Seminar by Dr. Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs based on Eph 5
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A newly married couple faces a major decision – relocating for a job and the couple disagree – how does this get resolved?
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Ephesians 5:22-33 explains what God expects Servant leaders and faith filled followers Love as Christ loved the Church and line up under an imperfect authority with faith in God God expects the two to become one and function as one and that takes death-to-self daily No one is perfect except Christ – forgive and walk on
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While single, seek the Lord – Invest your time and energy in growing and serving others The issue is always God’s will and not our personal happiness or goals God has placed authorities in your life for a reason – include them and listen to them Marriage is a picture of Christ and the Church – What will we present to the waiting world?
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Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
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