1. Candyce Reynolds, Ph.D.. University Studies
Conflict Management
Candyce Reynolds, Ph.D..
University Studies

2. Conflict
What is it?

3. Conflict
Why do we do it?

4. Conflict
Why do we care?

5. Goals for Today
Understand the nature of conflict in human relationships
Identify ways that conflict can be positive or negative
Examine a framework for analyzing conflict situations
Analyze a personal conflict

6. What we know….
Conflict is a naturally occurring phenomenon for human beings
People do not get involved in conflict situations unless they have some stake in the relationship or outcome or both

7. What we know….
One can never truly resolve conflict, one can only manage conflict
The costs of unmanaged conflict can be high, but the gains from using differences creatively can also be great
Conflict can either be productive or dysfunctional

8. First Trick for Conflict Management

9. Know Yourself

10. What feelings do you have when you are in conflict situation?

11. Common Feelings Associated with Conflict
Anger
Frustration
Fear
Excitement

12. Common Actions Associated with Conflict
Fight
Flight

13. Your History with Conflict
How was conflict perceived in your family/community?
How did your family/community deal with conflict?

14. You can decide...
Understanding the impact of your family and community on your ideas about conflict can allow you to make decisions about how you deal with conflict now
We are our history
We make our history

15. What is your conflict style?

16. Conflict Styles R E L A T I O N S H P High Importance 3 5 4 2 1 High
Low Importance
GOALS

17. Conflict Styles R E L A T I O N S H P High Importance 3 5 4 2
1--Turtle
High
Importance
Low Importance
GOALS

18. Turtle--Withdrawing Avoid conflict as all costs
Give up their personal goals & relationships
Believe it is hopeless to try to resolve conflict
Feel helpless
Easier to withdraw than face conflict

19. Conflict Styles R E L A T I O N S H P High Importance 3 5 4 2--Shark 1
Low Importance
GOALS

20. Shark--Forcing
Try to overpower opponents by forcing them to accept their solutions
Not concerned with needs of others
Do not care about how others perceive them
Believe in winning and losing
Winning gives them a sense of pride
Try to win by attacking, overwhelming, & intimidating others

21. Conflict Styles R E L A T I O N S H P High Importance 3--Teddy Bear 54 2 1
High
Importance
Low Importance
GOALS

22. Teddy Bear--Smoothing
Relationships most important, goals of little importance
Want to be accepted and liked by other people
Believe conflict should be avoided in favor of harmony
Fearful that conflict will hurt someone

23. Conflict Styles R E L A T I O N S H P High Importance 3 5 4--Fox 2 1
Low Importance
GOALS

24. Fox--Compromising Moderately concerned with relationships and goals
Willing to sacrifice part of their goals and relationships in order to find agreement for the common good

25. Conflict Styles R E L A T I O N S H P High Importance 3 5--Owl 4 2 1
Low Importance
GOALS

26. Owl--Confronting Value their own goals and relationships
View conflicts as problems to be solved
See conflicts as improving relationships by reducing tension
Seek solutions that satisfy both parties
Not satisfied until solution is found and tension is reduced

27. Which style is better?

28. Some styles are more useful than others when...

29. Uses of the “Turtle” When issue is trivial
When potential damage of confrontation outweighs the benefits
To let people cool down & reduce tension
When gathering information
When others can resolve the conflict more effectively

30. Uses of the “Shark” When quick, decisive action is vital
On important issues where unpopular actions need to be implemented
To protect yourself against people who take advantage of noncompetitive behavior

31. Uses of “Teddy Bear” When you realize you are wrong
To learn from others
When issue is more important to the other person than to yourself
As a goodwill gesture to maintain cooperative relationship
To allow others to experiment

32. Uses of “Fox”
When goals are important, but not worth the effort or disruption
When opponents with equal power are strongly committed
To achieve temporary settlements to complex issues

33. Uses of “Owl”
To find an integrative solution when both sides are too important to compromise
When your objective is to learn
To work through hard feelings which have been interfering with a relationship

34. Second Trick for Conflict Management

35. Understand Process of Conflict
intervene
Expectations (explicit)
Anticipation (implicit)
Unfulfilled Expectations
Experience
Gather evidence for a case
Resentments Build
Give up

36. Why & how do we get in conflict situations?

37. The issues The facts: present situation, problems
The goals: how things ought to be, the future conditions sought
The methods: the best, the easiest, the quickest, the most ethical
The values: the beliefs about priorities that should be observed in choosing goals & methods
The history: what has gone on before

38. Components of a Conflict Situation
Frustration--when you feel blocked.
Conceptualization of problem-- “What’s going on?”
Conceptualization of behaviors & intentions-- “What does that mean?”
Outcome--emotional, cognitive, behavioral

39. Types of Conflict

40. What can we do??? How do we intervene???
Accept that you will have conflict
Work toward having positive vs. dysfunctional conflict
Use conflict management skills
De-escalation
“I”- Messages

41. Indicators of Escalation
Competition
Righteousness
Not Listening
Spreading to new issues
Dealing in personalities
Threats
Intentional Hurt
Violating Social Rules

42. Indicators of De-escalation
Listening. Trying to understand.
Showing Tact. Concern for other’s feelings.
Goodwill gestures.
Appeals to De-escalate.
Airing feelings.
Finding alternatives.

43. “I”-Messages Describe: Behavior Feelings Consequence
Beware of war words!!

44. Analyzing a Conflict Situation
Conflict was between________
It centered around_________
I wanted___________
and felt frustrated because __________
In my view, the key issue was _______
The other person probably thought the key issue was ___________

45. Analyzing a Conflict Situation
Predominant conflict style I used_____
Escalation behaviors I used________
De-escalation behaviors I used______
Major outcomes_____________
Differences over: facts, goals, methods, values, history___________
What would I do differently next time?

46. Small Group Break into small groups
Take 7 minutes to fill out sheet. Write about problem that you are willing to share with group. (Could be something that has happened in your group!)
Share worksheet with group
Get feedback about possible alternative ways of viewing and/or handling conflict
Discuss common themes

47. Large Class
Each group share their common themes
Questions, comments